Help

[Fiasco]

I think I'm going crazy. Can someone please help me?

[Guest_3712]

Hi Fiasco,

So glad to hear you are feeling a little less foggy. We do have a lot of similarities including partners who find it hard to understand and support our issues.

I'm wondering if maybe while you are feeling a bit better it might be an idea if you re- visit the idea of talking to someone. I know you have said how hard it would be to open up to someone as did I for sure, but I also found it easier to talk to someone I didn't know as opposed to someone I really cared for.

It may also help if you are still not getting an accurate diagnosis i.e if bi -polar. Just a thought. Sometimes when we are really unwell it is not the best time to make decisions, however when we can see things a little clearer we can make more informed plans.

You may know from one of my posts I have been having some issues with meds, but I would like to let u know I have also had a lot of success with the meds I have been on , giving me a chance to live a much less stressful life- again just a thought , - no pressure,

Well done to you for getting through this last week and wishing all the best in the week ahead.

Be kind to yourself

Stressless

[White_Rose]

Dear Fiasco

I am so pleased you are feeling a bit better. Long may it continue. I suspect that having a group of people around you, all supporting you and wanting the best for you has been a tremendous boost. It makes sense to have a team around to hold you when you lose yourself. The acute team will not be able to stay long, once you are more stable they will move on. It's really great your psych is so good and supportive. Can you find other supports? What about your GP?

If you are seriously concerned about a Bipolar diagnosis why not talk about this with your psych? If this is not the case, that's great. If it is correct well then you know and can get treatment. None of us want to be unwell with anything but unfortunately what we want and what we get are often different. It's sad.

Have you thought of ways to keep yourself on an even keel? I know you have lots of energy and enjoy physical activities. Does it help to go jogging every day or do similar activities. A way of containing and using your energy in a positive and safe manner.

This is quick post as I need to go to bed, early morning start. Keep telling us how well you are, that's the best news.

Mary

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

​I'm glad you are finally having a good day and hope it sticks around to give you a rest.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for a diagnosis? When I started meds my psychiatrist said he was pretty sure I was experiencing major depression but wasn't ruling out bipolar. He said if I was bipolar the meds he put me on would possibly make me worse. Worth asking about. If you have the wrong diagnosis you aren't getting the best help.

What do you think? Worth asking about?

I'm glad you're back and talking. Take care of yourself 😊

[White_Rose]

Hello Fiasco

I was thinking about you today, when I wasn't running around, and about your comment of being Bipolar. Beyond Blue does not have much information on this but the Black Dog Institute has much more. www.blackdoginstitute.org.au They also have a self-test which may be useful to you. I obviously don't know what the psychiatrist told you but it seems to worry you a little.

Have a look at the Black Dog and take the test. The next thing would be to take the test results to your GP for comment. It could be why you are having these strong suicidal thoughts.

Hope all is well.

Mary

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

I've been thinking of you. Are you alright? Hope you're feeling stable and are supported.

Just wanted you to know I did read your post about my garden 😊 I'll be back in a place mentally to bore you with the details soon.

Take care of yourself.

[Fiasco]

Hi stressless, Mary and Quercus,

how are you all?

i found the answer - it's name is coffee!!! 😂

thanks for your responses. Sorry I didn't reply sooner.

Im seeing a new psychiatrist this Friday, so we'll see how that goes 😕

I've been pretty ok mentally for the last little bit - I got to a point where I couldn't maintain that amount of mental pain, so I did what I'm good at - shut it out. My brain and body went into preservation mode and made it all stop. Not super sure how, but I'm glad.

anyway, have been busy with kids. 4 year old up all night Friday and Saturday with croup, then last night she finally slept...and my 5 year old was up all night vomiting! Feeling pretty unwell myself and dealing with sick kids. Yuck. I could never deal with a newborn again it seems, so I guess everything happens for a reason.

Been enjoying baking and cooking again recently.

school holidays after this week omg. Not sure how that's going to go.

dance concert and competitions coming up quickly.

been working on a large crochet blanket and some scarves for the girls.

feeling really bored and unfulfilled today. Almost wishing I was able to go back to work. Thinking about all the stuff I used to do and how I can't imagine ever being that capable again.

fi

[Guest_3712]

Hi Fiasco,

Sorry didn't reply earlier but I'm having a bit of a moment and don't think I can be much help except to say everything you mention re sick kids and coping I can fully relate to and yes it does see never -ending. But guess what ? It does end and then one day they are thirty plus, like my kids and you wonder where those years went and those sleepless nights are a dim memory.

I know this doesn't help in the moment, but sorry that's all ive got for now. Don't be too hard on yourself, you have come a long way

Be kind to your self

Stressless

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

Welcome back 😊 I missed you.

You sound a lot better even dealing with sick kids (man that's the worst!) and uninspired. It's a relief actually. I was worried about you.

Hope the new psychiatrist helps you as well. You seem to be keeping busy. Cooking and crochet and dance. Are you managing to find enjoyment in things now?

Yeah I feel you with the boredom to be honest. I know I should enjoy the time while my kids are kids but my goodness noone warns you that there are times that being a mum really sucks. I have days too where I don't feel like I exist anymore 😊 generally that's the warning sign I need a break and time to myself. What do you do that's just for you?

Anyway bedtime. Just wanted to say I'm glad you are talking again.

[Fiasco]

Yesterday was bad, but my mood was improved today. Tired of my instability.

saw the new psychiatrist today - he agrees with my previous psychiatrist: bipolar 2, borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder (from a 30 minute discussion with a stranger, huge implications for how I think of myself). I hate labels. And drugs. Guess I'll pick them up tomorrow and try to make myself take them. I just can't reconcile myself to it. I don't want to believe it. Maybe I'm just stereotyping. I don't know.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Fiasco,

What was your feelings towards new psych ? Do you think you will be able to relate to him ? I hope so . I knowhow you feel about labels, maybe look at it more like a diagnosis which it is.

When I first was injured, It took a really long time to work out what was wrong. As I hadn't lost a limb or punctured a major organ it was very hard to pinpoint where the pain was coming from. I had scan after scan, test after test all the while in excruciating pain - just like you are now.

During this time I was journaling because my life had been totally upended it was the only way I could keep track of what was going on. I know without even referring back to these journals some 10 years later , every day my entry ended with, "Please God I need to know what is wrong with me. Let tomorrow be the day they work it out" Because I knew once I had a diagnosis then the treatment could begin

That day finally came . Journal entry : " I don't believe it. I finally have a diagnosis. All this time of thinking it was all in my head. Its real. My pain is real. They have a plan. I can get my life back.

Fiasco you have your diagnosis for your condition and at this time the treatment recommended by your doctors are medications to relieve your symptoms- no more no less. They may work straight off or they may need tweaking. You need to trust your doctors on this. You sought help and now you need to accept and at least try their treatments.

Good luck I am sending you as many positive thoughts as I can to help you through. You can also pop over to TA's thread in Anxiety where lots of friends are currently sitting around a beautiful fire, in a circle holding hands while moon beams cast lovely silhouettes across the sky

Be kind to yourself

Stressless