FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Dear Matthew,

Thank you so much for your kind words and best wishes.

Most Christmas Days my memories wander to the still born babies. Sometimes these memories bring tears, other times a sense of peace as I believe their souls are in Heaven and one day we will be together again. I always carry them around in my heart.

Love, peace, happiness, acceptance and what ever else, I wish to you and all.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

MOONSTRUCK< excellent change in attitude! High fives to you!

SHRED< My Mum has totally amazed me lately. She has sent us cards and money for Christmas and actually wrote LOVE FROM in her cards. That rarely happens! You may have some miracles as well, hopefully on the home front.

STARWOLF< That is such a generous and lovely thing to do!

For me, I am going to try hard to write out some Christmas Cards today!

Deep breathes, heads up high and smiles on faces everyone.

For those of you about to tackle the shops:

Wear boots to stop the rear end trolley crashes into your heels,

Slide on a circular floating device around your waste to increase your personal space An inner tube will do

Talk like a nutter so people might let you go to the start of a queue for the check out

Any other suggestions?

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

[Just Sara]

Hey Mrs D!

Great thread by the way!

I never thought I'd be posting here as I've always loved the Xmas spirit and didn't think I'd have anything to offer. But I'm finding this yr to be particularly 'different' to others.

*I've changed...my family haven't. Maybe it's how my attitude to life has morphed from being overly tolerant and negative, to self focused with a good sense of boundaries; recovery I think.

I've done a little shopping, but only for those 'special' people in my life. I normally do the one day shop covering everyone and need 2 days recovery to get back to normal! No cards have been written yet which is also different.

My mother is having dinner at her place this yr; it's hideous the way she controls and won't let us be involved. I want so much to be a part of the season's merriment it hurts to be left out.

My sisters are struggling with this too. So we've decided to have our own party Xmas night with drinks, silliness and laughter, which my mum won't tolerate. I feel some guilt, though it'll be nice to let go of the formality of my mum's stressful lunch.

Maybe I'm just being a grumble bum Grinch!

Merry Xmas to all...Sara xoxo

[Shred1106]

Hey Mrs Dools

Great advice, especially with the inner tube thing while shoppping!

I am so pleased your Mum actually said the word love in her cards! That is huge.

Today I am attempting to clean part of the house - I started with a small area yesterday and am trying a larger area today. Once the fur babies go into their holiday home I like to run my carpet shampooer through the place, so it's generally the night before we go away.

I am horrified to hear that many people who have put up lights and displays around our smaller towns (40klm radius) have had them stolen. The local cops are working hard on it.Although I am not Christmassy, it is sad for the little kids to miss out.

I will try to get to see two friends before we fly out, and they both know my situation so I plan to have them come here so I don't have to go out. It is getting a little easier to get out but I am still worried about running into people. I haven't sent any cards this year at all - many of my friends just send stuff via facebook or instagram these days and that suits me fine. So there is no hint of Christmas at my place at all - just the way I like it.

You go ahead Sara with your sister's and have your own celebration !!!!!!

The season will all be over before we know it...

Shred out

[Just Sara]

Thanks Shred!

Will do...

Sara xo

[Starwolf]

Moon, well done for putting on your mind floaties ! Now you can lie back and relax. The odd wave may still toss you around, forcing you to swallow/snort a bit of salt water but it won't drag you down...you'll keep topside.

Shred, I'm with you on vandalism of Xmas displays. Whether it be pure spite, or just stupid drunken antics (there's a lot of that going on this time of year !), it is a selfish, mindless act. Quite a few people on the outskirts of the closest rural town have given up on decorations as local cowboys have been using them as target practice.

Sara, you are entitled to the Xmas that suits YOU. Your mother's idea of it doesn't sound like much fun...If you can't have silliness during what is dubbed as the silly season, something is seriously out of whack. I suggest you shove guilt in a box , wrap it in Xmassy​ paper, tie ribbons/tinsel around it and burn it in ritual offering to the Universe. Have fun !

I hope we can all be on the lookout for miracles during the next few days. Being open to them is the way to invite them.

[girl_interrupted]

Mrs D,

You've been thru so much. I cried when I read one of your other posts about your loss. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. You're a beautiful person x

[Starwolf]

Mrs Dools...I see you in my mind eye. There are cherubs in your aura. You are surrounded with love. Blessed.

[Shred1106]

Hi all

Well, I just had my first Christmas beetle come onto the front patio while I was sitting out there. Haven't seen one in years!.

Friends are heading out of town over the next few days so all I have to do is make it through tomorrow's anniversary and a funeral on tuesday and then we fly out this time next week.

Mrs Dools - you are an inspiration on a daily basis

Starwolf - you're a champ

Sara - just continue to be yourself

Note: If we aren't good enough for others during this time of year at least we are good enough and appreciate each other's value here in these forums

Christmas need not be the only time we appreciate those around us..

Shred out....

[Just Sara]

Mrs D, Star, GI, Moon, Shred and others;

The tears are rolling down my cheeks...

When I was a teen, I sat at our Xmas Dinner table alone, waiting for my dysfunctional family to arrive and play happy families. Instead, my dad was drunk doing back-flips on the lawn while my little sisters laughed on. My mum was swearing in the kitchen throwing food everywhere and promising never to have Xmas again. My beautiful Nan had passed the previous yr, so loneliness and 'wishful' thoughts pervaded my mind...I cried then too.

Today, reading all your wonderfully positive posts and replies, my heart is filled with an unknown quantity...receiving Xmas spirit and love. Some 'happenings' in my life at present also reflect this 'absence' of fear and negative expectations. Absolutely paradoxal, but beautiful!

Each Xmas, the scene of me sitting alone flashes in front of me. This yr, my table is full of strangers...fabulous strangers. Faceless men and women with warmth, compassion, wearing party hats, smiling and sharing their joy and laughter...a scene worth remembering indeed.

My gratitude and humble love to all...Sara xoxo