FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[Shred1106]

Dear Mrs Dools

Enjoy your break and have a safe journey. The balinese are a beautiful people and I do hope you see a little bit of culture while there.

Kaz - I think you hit on a great idea -raising a glass to Mrs Dools and each other wherever we might be in the world is terrific. I know personally the forums have been a great help to me.

I too am now starting to pack...we head off in the early hours of Thursday morning...

For now Shred out

[5022]

Seasons greetings everyone:( it is a relief and comforting to know I'm not dreading Christmas day. I always had great christmas's until I left my ex six years ago and since then they have been filled with sadness and pain as he denies my access. He said this year i will have the kids Xmas eve and morning but I cant count on what he says so am trying to figure out a strategy to manage my grief and not melt down if this happens. I am just reentering the light after a meltdown Monday when he changed the kids schools behind my back even though we have equal parental responsibility (i can't afford to go back to court and don't qualify for legal aid). Im so scared of another meltdown and need to avoid this at all costs.

We are never alone here. Hugs too everyone

[Doolhof]

Hi Max,

I'm so very sorry to read of your family history. It is hard to understand and comprehend why some people say hurtful things. My Mum has depression and probably Borderline personality disorder. Mum can say some really nasty things and has no idea how hurtful she can be.

This time of year can be a huge struggle when loved ones are no longer with us. Events like Christmas and Birthdays can bring up such pain, grief and a deep sense of loss.

Do you celebrate Christmas? One thing I like to do on Christmas Day is to light a candle for loved ones who have died. The candle brings me a sense of peace and comfort.

It does not take away the hurt or the grief, it just makes it more bearable.

Wishing you all the very best, from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi 5022,

I'm so very sorry to read your story. I know nothing about the family courts/laws. I do so hope you manage to see your children for Christmas.

Hi Shred,

Hope to catch you all again sometime soon!

Cheers. Mrs. Dools

[nowhereman]

Hi.and thanks for your responce .the odd thing.is from age 2yo. I felt like i never bekonged.as though the family around me wernt mine.then i felt like eveyone on this stupid planet wasnt like me at all. Strangely i have seen things that cant be explained.and i was able to draw places ive never been to or been told about at a very young age.now ive seen apparitions.and im always fighting with people cause i dont wanna be here anymore. At 5 i painted a comunity hall with its sign.and a seat under a willow tree my grandma used to visit all the time.she freaked out when saw it. No.i never liked any of my family .cause they all treated me bad. Max

[Kazzl]

Hi Max - nice to meet you. Sorry your family situation isn't good. You're not alone in that one mate, so many people struggle with the whole 'happy families' thing at Christmas. It's an ideal sold to us by marketing companies and retailers, but not the reality for many people.

I think the ads on tele just make things worse at Christmas - if we don't have the whole big happy extended family with loads of presents and ham and turkey going on it's like we're failing somehow, or 'second best'. Well, I call bull___t. It's just a fabrication designed to separate us from our money. So there. I'm a grinch. 😄

How do you plan to spend the day Max?

Hiya 5022 - oh I hope things work out for you on the day hun. But remember, if they don't, it's just another day. Just a day, no better or worse than other days. Minimise it's impact on you.

Well, having vented about the capitalist conspiracy of Christmas, it's time I ignored my own opinions and finished my Christmas bloody shopping. If you find me shaking in the corner at the end of the day, please feed me ice cream.

Love to everyone here

Kaz

xx

[Starwolf]

It is true that geographical isolation helps keep Xmas at bay.

However, my state of mind is totally disconnected from the hullabaloo. To me, it is just a day on the calendar used by the system to rip us all off. Being the subversive type, I have no trouble disconnecting from it all. I've always been a reluctant consumer. In this regard, I am just as bait proof as the average security dog !

Though I consider myself a spiritual person, religion is not my thing. Give me an ism -whatever it applies to- and I'm out of here... 🙂

Family to me was just another F word from the very beginning. I am immensely grateful that rickety bridge was burnt many years ago. What makes this time "special" is that I will be spending most of it with the BB community. This family is one I chose, one who understands what unconditional love means.

I consider it a privilege. Looking forward to it.

[Shred1106]

Hi all

Not a good day for me.Can't finish packing for my trip, can't concentrate and then heard the news I feared - the young man that I assisted in the car crash last week has passed away in hospital.Another family minus a member and an anniversary forever more.

I attended the funeral of an old employee of mine (mind you she was younger than I) today - so it has been a shocker...

Festive season struggles - I am thinking there is little to celebrate but I guess I will be in another country with a couple of family members and I don't have to cook.

In case I don't get the chance due to timing - please take care of yourselves, everyone on BB has made an impact on me and supported me through some torrid times this past month particularly!

Shred out

[nowhereman]

Hi Kazzl. Thanks for your reply.ive got nothing planned for exmas as my family is gone. I just finnished a Jam on my new 12 string and im very happy with the progress of my new song. I wont busk this song as it has marketing potential.and sounds a bit like CREED.cause of the low sad voice but strong higher notes. The bridge to a song is always a make or break.so i may need some help on that. Xmas isnt in my belief at all. I dont follow the leader just because others do.i never thought that way. Max

[Starwolf]

Hey Nowhereman,

There are quite a few of us who have always felt alien to this world. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling that way. Looking at it objectively, the human world doesn't make much sense. It wouldn't be in so much trouble otherwise.

There is no easy way to put right injustice, greed, corruption, isolation or poverty. It doesn't mean we are powerless. There is always small differences to be made around us. These can gather momentum and grow in unexpected ways. Throwing something positive into the Universe, it can have the same ripple effect as when we toss something in water.

You are doing just that by writing songs. Music and lyrics can express a lot that couldn't be shared in face to face conversation. This creativity carries huge responsibility. Thank you for taking it up.

Shred, it is very sad that the person you assisted didn't make it. But regardless of what happened next, your help and compassion were what was most needed at the time. I believe one of the lessons we are meant to learn is to do what we feel is right without being attached to results.

I hope going away will help you distance yourself and move on from this difficult time. ​My wish for you is for a brighter future.