Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

blondguy · ‎24-02-2020

Hello Elizabeth

No worries at all, and no response is expected

please be gentle to yourself

my kind thoughts

Paul

Elizabeth CP · ‎25-02-2020

Thank you Shell for your kind words. You said So many things seem worse when we are tired. That has been a huge issue. Being tired makes it much harder to do anything which makes me feel useless because I can't do anything. This made me more depressed.

Croix Thank you I hope you had a good break. I do hope I get the break in April. I caught my foot on something which pulled it the wrong way. Stupid but that is what happened I'm getting used to the bed but sleep remains an issue. We have been using the ceiling fan but I find it distracting but better than being hot.
The psychiatrist has given me a time later this week. Will be interesting to see what happens particularly discussing the failed attempt of medication.
I hope my daughter gets the job and moves back to Australia. I miss her.

Paul
Thank you
I'm doing a bit better. I spent a couple of days at a friends which gave me a break. Not ideal because of issues with her husband but better than nothing.
I don't feel strong at the moment.
I saw the psychologist re exposure therapy today & had a helpful session. Lots of things I need to work on I was told today to schedule pleasurable activities and do them even if I don't get any pleasure . I didn't realise the lack of pleasure is due to the depression not the activity

Elizabeth CP · ‎28-02-2020

I finally saw my psychiatrist after a VERY long break. When I see him he is really good but the gaps between appointments is not good. I told him about my unsuccessful attempt at ADs. He was fine with me stopping under the circumstances. He seemed to think my tiredness was normal given the circumstances. He encouraged me to use sleeping tablets when needed. He knows I don't overuse them. I need to keep doing the exposure therapy with the psych he referred me to. This is going to take ages given how bad I've become after this summer..

I have been forced to accept that I am seriously unwell and I need to get more practical help to take some of the pressure off me. I'. meeting with someone in a couple of weeks to come up with a plan and this councillor will meet with me & some other people to help me come up with a plan. It is hard because I feel I should be able to do it myself but I get caught up with so many things and then have no time for the less urgent including sourcing help. I'm normally organised but my thinking seems to be impaired due to my tiredness so simple things become too hard. I hope I can find a way to get back in control of my life before I am tipped over the edge

Guest_1055 · ‎28-02-2020

I think it sounds quite wise actually to get some practical help.

Can understand about the tiredness too. As when I get like that (I am pretty sure my tiredness would not be has high as yours) my brain gets muddled. Thoughts become a mess and all over the place. I cannot think rationally much either.

You will get there Elizabeth, you will get there.

Croix · ‎29-02-2020

Dear Elizabeth~

I'd agree "I'm normally organised but my thinking seems to be impaired" and this is no surprise, in fact the manner in which you have held on is amazing.

Nervelessness your recognition of your state is a blessing, and to be prepared to find and accept help marvelous. It is no reflection on you, but on circumstances.

I like the way your psychiatrist reacted and he is right about the sleeping tablets. Incidentally I finally found one that does not make me feel lodgy the next day, so if one does not work please ask for alternatives.

I also like the fact your councilor will be there with the group designing your assistance. Takes the pressure off you.

You will get back you know, and there will be no "tipping". After all this time I've faith in you and know with the correct help you will head back towards being yourself

Croix

Guest_1055 · ‎29-02-2020

Just saying hi to you Croix. No reply is needed to me or anything. Just wanted to say hi is all

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-03-2020

Thanks Croix, I have been using tablets for over a year now. I only use them when needed. My psych encourages me to use them more than I do. He knows I don't abuse them so he is happy to prescribe them to me. sometimes I feel still foggy in the morning but this happens more if I haven't had long enough sleep or are really bad so more likely me than the meds.

It is scary asking for help. I wonder what people will think. If I'm asking for too much. Having support asking for help will at least mean I have a back up to help.

Croix · ‎02-03-2020

Dear Elizabeth~

"is scary asking for help. I wonder what people will think. If I'm asking for too much"

Um.

Yes it is scary to reach a stage where you are no longer as self-reliant as you were, that seems a reflection on self and a shortcoming -it's not though, simply adapting sensibly to changing circumstances.

Apart from the fact who cares what unspecified strangers think anyone who know you will be well aware you are far more likely to ask for too litle. That's one reason I'm pleased you councilor will be with you.

I put off getting a disabled parking sticker for far too long because on a good day I could walk further than the required maximum. My Doctor pointed out it was my worst day I had to take into account. Many tend to fall into that trap (not that I'm thinking of anyone in particular:)

Croix

Guest_1055 · ‎03-03-2020

Hey Elizabeth and Hey Croix

I wonder if you feel like there is something out of your control by accepting and even asking for help? And that is what scares you. Might be...

Elizabeth CP · ‎04-03-2020

I have had some negative experiences. One time my GP insisted I get home help because I was very sick. I had a young baby at the time. The cleaner spent the whole time cleaning the kitchen giving the impression she thought it was disgusting. She brought towels & other items implying mine weren't good enough. I ended up feeling very embarrassed. Another time afer hubby became blind we needed help to get the house ready to sell. I told someone I needed the help but each time they arranged to come & discuss it they cancelled. In the end I was told I couldn't get help because I had 5 children. Noone checked why my kids couldn't help. One moved interstate at that time. Another lived 3 hours away. My daughter had to move so she needed help herself as she had a new baby & toddler. One wouldn't help & the other was busy as he'd just moved back to Australia & was trying to get his house fixed so he could move back. It had been rented while he was away but left in a bad state. This has left me very wary of asking for help because of the fear of judgement.