Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools & Croix. Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I read you replies soon after you wrote them but didn't have the energy to think how to reply. Since starting the new meds I've had constant headaches & feeling really down. My mood is slightly better than at the start but still feeling very tired. A few times I've thought my cough & nose problems are getting better but when I stopped the medication for them I got sick again. Unfortunately the side effects for that medication is really affecting me as well. I hope I start feeling better soon so I can get my life back on track

[blondguy]

Dear Elizabeth

I understand that you have and are going through so much in your life. I respect your reluctance where meds are concerned Elizabeth as I used to be exactly the same. Can I ask how you felt after your very low dose of meds for anxiety that were prescribed? I still take my AD's and have a script for a anti anxiety med when required since 1996

my very best for you...your husband and your family always

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Paul, I understand that for some people meds are essential & the benefits far out way the side effects. For me that hasn't worked. Since taking these meds I've seen little improvement but constant tiredness & headaches. The headaches are particularly bad in the morning. This makes it harder to function making me feel worse about myself & situation. I'm also getting unpleasant side effects which I suspect are from meds my GP prescribed but when I tried to stop them the side effects lessened but but my original problem came back. I need to get back to the GP to discuss what is happening & check if the meds could be interfering with each other.

[Elizabeth CP]

I've been struggling over the last month. I made a couple of attempts to post but struggled to work out what to say. I started ADs after seeing my psych in Nov. Really hated the side effects but other stuff was occuring so that made it hard to tell what was causing what. Settled down a bit but still felt extremely tired with no reason.My psych cancelled the review appointment in Dec. I arranged to see my GP. I wanted to come off the meds. She instead said I needed to increase the dose as the dose was too low to lift the depression. I VERY reluctantly agreed. Result extreme anxiety, tiredness, feeling generally yuck!!! My husband came home Friday & wanted me to stop the meds immediately because he was worried I'd need to go to hospital otherwise. I had rung an online pharmacist who was helpful & recommended continuing at least until I see my GP tomorrow.

Unfortunately this is a terrible time to be dealing with side effects of meds. I recommenced exposure therapy a couple of weeks ago. I had stopped because I felt I as wasting time going as he was getting sidetracked with other issues. When I saw the psych in Nov I mentioned the increased issues regarding summer & fires caused by the early bushfire season so he asked me to return to the person for exposure therapy. The session was OK but has stirred things up. Of course now he's on leave for Christmas & the psych is not available until the end of Feb. My GP has only a limited understanding of what has been happening so can't support much. Last week was extremely hot & even though I was able to keep the house cool knowing it was hot & a total fire ban & smoke smells outside was too much to handle. I can't see how I can cope this time of year with the added stress of meds side effects even if they are temporary. Sorry if this post is jumbled I need advice but my brain isn't clear enough to think logically ATM

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm sorry you are in such a state. No your post is not jumbled at all, it is quite clear. I've not much to offer except to say firstly that going off A/Ds cold turkey is a bad idea, you can get all sorts of reactions. If you husband has noticed the effect on you then yes, something needs to be done, and tailing off under medical supervision may well be the answer, not increasing the dosage.

I do exactly understand sometimes it is difficult or impossible to tell what in life is affecting you, and what is the result of meds.

I'm not sure exposure therapy in the middle of bush fire season is ideal either. I'm simply guessing but just having the outside smelling of smoke may undo any good it might do.

Is there any way you can stay elsewhere, with a family member perhaps, for a bit? I know your husband's condition makes that very awkward, but it might be viable -what do you think?

I'd also suggest if you are not 100% happy with your exposure therapist -or any therapist for that matter - then please change. I beleive it is the relationship and confidence as much as the type of therapy that has the greatest positive effect.

Please come back and talk some more

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks for your reply Croix. It is nice to feel you care. Went back to the GP today. She wants me to stay on the ADs at the higher dose because that was the psych originally wanted. I've only been on the higher dose for a week so the side effects are still very strong but the benefit hasn't kicked in. Been prescribed some anti anxiety meds to tide me over. I would prefer to at the most take the low dose until things are more settled. It is too hard dealing with the higher dose this time of year with psychiatrists & psychologists on holidays. My psychologist recommended some things to try to overcome some negative patterns of behaviour. I feel these would be beneficial but it is too hard to push myself to do them when I'm so anxious.

You mentioned staying elsewhere. That is not an option, I don't live in a high fire risk area & everywhere in Australia is hot & at risk. The smell of smoke is drifting from 100s of km away but that doesn't stop it triggering me.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Pity about the smoke, I can well imagine the effect on you. A particular disinfectant smell can do it for me.

So what have you decided about the meds, go with the GP and continue on with a strong dose for a while, with maybe anti-anxiety meds too? It's true a week is not long for A/Ds to stabilize.

Do you mind if I ask what the techniques were your psych suggested?

How is your husband BTW?

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix. The GP really wants me to stay on this increased dose. I'll try to stick it out for another week until I see her next. I can't see the anti anxiety meds helping as they'll make me more tired & dopey which will be worse.

My husband is OK at the moment although that could change any minute. There are signs that the disease is progressing hand function weaker, speech more affected and more frequent coughing episodes so I need to keep up with all his exercises to minimize the deterioration.

You asked about what the psychologist suggested. One of my problems is when it is hot I feel trapped inside. I avoid going out into the heat out of fear of sunburn & the heat. To keep the house cool I close the blinds which keeps the house cooler but affects my mood making me feel even more trapped. I suspect it also makes me uneasy because I can't see what is happening outside. My pych suggested choosing a room where the sun isn't coming in and working in there with blinds up & then moving when the sun shifts to that part of the house. I need to keep a list of things that are suitable to do inside on hot days which will engage my mind to help me focus on something other than the heat and leave me feeling that I've done something useful or pleasant at the end of the day. Trouble is with this medication I feel so tired & anxious I can't focus on anything which sends me into a downward spiral.

I don't see how this increased dose can help. It took over a month on the low dose before I could start to function & then was still feeling very tired. The GP assumed the tiredness was a symptom of the depression so she wanted me to increase the dose to manage that but I can't cope with another month of these side effects this time of year. Doing little to cope with the tiredness is making me feel more useless & affecting my mood.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I don't know enough about meds to say much, though deciding to stick it out for the week sounds sensible, even if unpleasant.

Moving from room to rooms sounds parasitical too, even if a bother. At one stage you said you had a heap of photos to sort, is the all done now?

I'm please you husband is still sort of OK at hte moment, do you think you might have a room you could go wiht air conditioning. I do remember he did not feel comfortable in it however it might be a respite for you

I'd like to wish you both the best Holiday Season possible in the circumstances and that the New Year will be good to you

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth and hello to Croix as well,

Elizabeth, I don't like it when we have the house all closed up to keep the summer heat out either. I do as your psychologist has suggested. I follow the cooler rooms around the house.

Other things I have found that help are to look at beautiful natural places on the computer screen, I Google gardens, country scenes, anything that looks alive and pretty.

Sometimes I light a candle. I have a big jar I put them in so they are safe with a fan or the air conditioner on.

I try to go outside early in the morning or late in the evening, even if it is for a few minutes.

I wish you both all the very best for Christmas!

Cheers from Dools