Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

I've not dropped in here for a while. Sorry to read you have so many issues happening at present.

Hope your health improves and you are able to get that house all sorted soon.

It must be concerning regarding the care of your son in hospital. It is good you are able to telephone him and have a chat with him, that must ease your mind a little.

I know this has probably been asked before, is it possible for your husband to have respite care somewhere for a while to give you a rest? Or is his medical condition such that this is not possible?

Hope you find some answers.

Kind regards from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools, Lat attempt to let my husband go away so I could have a break proved such a disaster I promised not to repeat the experience.

Last night he ended up in emergency after a nasty incident when visiting a friend. One minute he was fine the next minute choking & very unwell. Afterwards he struggled to breath so I drove him to the hospital. He's much better now but still tired. I find it hard because it is so unpredictable.

I'm feeling tired & teary today.

[Doolhof]

Dear Elizabeth,

I can't begin to understand what it is like for your husband and yourself when such incidents occur. No doubt it must be frightening, confronting and so many other things.

Is there something you can do to help release some of the tension and stress you no doubt feel?

Sorry to read the last attempt at care for your husband did not go well by the sounds of it. Do you have other options?

Tears can be exhausting, I also find them to be healing.

Thinking of you both, from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools, I appreciate you care & kind words.

I'm unsure of options for my husband. Currently I feel too overwhelmed with multiple stresses to be able to think clearly to come up with a solution. I am feeling very tired. 7 know there are things I need to do but can't get motivated. Husband has fallen asleep in the chair. He seems overtired lately Psych prescribedmeds which I've picked up but I'm really s cared of taking them because of previous bad experiences

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I've been unable to post recently and have only just read waht has been happening to you - and your son.

It can seem overwhelming when there is no clear solution in sight and exhaustion prevents clarity of taught. Very upsetting indeed and tears are in no way surprising.

Is there anyone sensible and practical you can talk over at least some of your options with?

I too have at times been reluctant to take particular meds due to side effects. It is little use your psych prescribing meds if you are too apprehensive to take them. Do you think it is worth discussing these difficulties with your psych? After all it would be easy for hm or her to go down the wrong track, assuming they were working, when in fact they are not.

Perhaps there are alternatives?

I hope you manage to get some rest

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I have started the meds which were prescribed. The psyc is aware of my reluctance to take meds. I was referred to him by a GP who'd tried various meds but all had to be stopped due to side effects with no benefits. He tried a different med which was worse than any so I refused to take any more. This tie he's given me a very low dose to reduce risk of side effects but that he thinks will help the anxiety which has become a real issue lately.

The last 2 days I've felt exhausted & wake up with headaches. Today I have a sore throat but that could be from nasal spray prescribed by my GP or from all my coughing. I feel even more depressed than ever. Unsure if that is the meds or just stress due to husband's situation. Yesterday took him to GP for review following incident on Sat night which went OK but then my husband told her that I was sick so she checked me quickly & made some recommendations which have helped but may be causing some side effects . Today saw a health professional with my husband & session became rather tense as she tried ti fit in with my husband's wishes which I wasn't happy about as this had led to problems in the pst which I was left to deal with. She was willing to listen to me & consider my concerns but I'm finding it difficult constatly walking a tightrope trying to give my husband control of his life but trying to avoid the negative consequences which directly impact me.

I have a good psychologist but can't always see him as often as I need. I feel I need to find someone to speak to who can give me direct guidance regarding the issues I'm facing Pych's can listen & help me vent & also help to clarify my thinking & help me avoid negative thinking patterns but I think at the moment I need someone who actually knows where I can turn to for help to provide more direct practical support I'm just not sure where to turn.

[blondguy]

Dear Elizabeth

I wrote to you on the 3rd and its not there....anyway...

I didnt know the pain you have been going through until I read Dool's post above. I cant even start to understand your situation...

Just my very humble opinion....from what you have mentioned above you are a super caring person who has way too much on their plate Elizabeth and trying to care for everyone (including yourself) at the same time...

You took your husband for a review and he mentioned that you were ill...and then you had recommendations made to you....this would have awkward for you. I know you are an honorable person by respecting your husbands wishes yet the visit was a review for your husband...This would have been very difficult for you

Walking a 'tightrope to provide your husband control of his life' would be tough on anyone not to mention your own well being (as you know of course)

You asked about seeking more direct practical support......I really hope you can make a double appointment with your doc (GP) asap....I dont know if you are comfortable doing so Elizabeth yet this will provide you with some immediate help.....instead of waiting days/weeks for an appointment with a counselor. This is my 23rd year seeing my doc (GP) every 6 weeks for a 'fine tune' where my own anxiety and meds are concerned

I really do hope we can help Elizabeth....my apologies for the long post

respectfully yours

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Paul. Yes it was awkward having my issues being brought up at my husband's appointment but on the positive it was my husband's way of saying he was concerned about me and the GP recognized that I wasn't well. (We both see the same GP) I had seen the GP a number of times over the last month & been given 3 lots of antibiotics. The previous visit I was told that my cough was just lingering from the long period of being unwell & would get better on its own. I'd therefor given up going to the GP thinking there was nothing left to do and I just needed to put up with the remaining symptoms. I will give myself a week on these new psych meds & if I'm stil struggling I'll go back to the GP to discuss the side effects. I keep getting told to get someone to help with the housework / someone to help my husband with things I'm currently helping him with etc etc. This sounds easy & logical but finding the right person to help is too hard. I'm so overloaded with things needing to be arranged & so may appointments that trying to ring up to make arrangements feel overwhelming. As far as getting people to help my husband I need to first arrange to train them when I'm struggling to keep up with his changing needs so trying to arrange that is too hard.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I hope that cough does clear up soon. Trying to balance things is next to impossible at times.

The only good thing I can say is a close friend had carers daily and while some would just go though the motions and not display any initiative, over time there built up a number that actually cared, learned to adapt and went well beyond what they were meant to in terms of hours and duties.They became the regulars.

They actually became friends. -and were dependable.

So I'm hoping you can persevere long enough to find people like these. They are most definitely there.

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Feeling so anxious and overwhelmed (understandably) can make us feel so exhausted. Is it possible to make a list and slowly work through what is on it, even if it take s a week to achieve and you have to break tasks down.

It may be stressful getting the help you need, hopefully you will find the strength to do so.

Some days my mind just shuts down and I struggle to do anything, so I do understand that concept of trying to achieve something being too difficult. Hopefully the medication will assist you and offer you some relief so you can push through.

Thinking of you, cheers from Dools