Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Shell for your understanding support. I'm not sure what sort of help would really help. So much of my current problems require me to deal with them. I need to get to a point where I set things up so carers can do some of the therapy but I need the time to type out instructions. The complication is my husband has deterirated this year so the exercises keep changing so I start typing & then have to change it before it is finished

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

That feeling of not being in control can certainly trip us up and cause all sorts of anxiousness and other issues.

Hopefully your son is making head way with the insurance issues. Even when we hand something over to another person, it can be difficult at times to totally let go.

I agree with what others have written here, there is some wonderful caring suggestions for you. I really love the way this community reaches out to each other.

Hopefully you can instigate ways to gain more positives in your life. This is something I need to do as well!

When you are trying to do something like type up the exercises for your husband and you are interrupted, would it help to tell your self this is just an interruption, it is frustrating, you may feel overwhelmed and then take a few deep breathes and try again.

It must be tiring for you, caring for and being concerned for your husband. Hope you can find some moments of peace.

All the best from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools & sorry I haven't replied.Normal interuptions are annoying but easy to accept them and get back to what needs doing. The interuptions which are problematic are those that trigger a huge stress reaction or those which involve lots of time to deal with. Yesterday was an example. Started off tired but OK. got hubby off & then did a couple of things before heading to my gym class (which is beneficial ) arrived home planning to work through a few things on my long list before heading off to an appointment fr exposure therapy. Then phone rang to say hubby was awaiting an ambulance. Person reassured me he was OK but that isn't believable when ambulance is required. Then need to wait for call to find out where he's going. No point in me driving until I know whats happening as he is over 1 hr away from me. Stress levels skyrocket & concentrating impossible. On top of that I'm receiving multiple messages from my son re my house/insurance issue & trying to get my head around what I need to do. Get told the name of hospital which is near the city so not easy to get to from my place by car. old the hospital will ring with an update once he's arrived & they decide what he needs. I then attend appointment with my phone waiting for call which didn't come. Eventually I get through & find he's been sent home after treatment by taxi. The rest of the afternoon is spent trying to assist him Even today he's exhausted from yesterday's events so I'm on very high alert watching out for him to ensure he is OK. Meantime there are more calls re house & things to sort. I need to be putting my point of view forward clearly & professionally so issues can be sorted when I'm feeling so stressed & tired I just want to hide. The other issues I need to deal with just keep being delayed.

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't posted here for a while. Life has been too busy & it was too hard to explain what was happening. I finally got a payout from the insurance company but am still trying to get the kitchen repaired. My son helped when he could but he has his own family including a new baby. He's had some challenges including his baby becoming very ill & requiring hospitalization. I've been sick for the last few weeks with a chest infection. I suspect lack of sleep due to stress left me unable to fight anything off. I'm noticing my jaw is very sore which happens when stress & anxiety levels are high as I clench my teeth. one of my son's is in a psych hospital I feel guilty for not giving him much support but I don't live near & I've been too sick. My daughter is also going through a difficul time as her MIL died in difficult circumstances. My husband had surgery last week. I guess there is not much anyone can do to help

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

It is a pleasure to hear from you again, and even if we have no cure-it-alls we can listen and empathize .

Would you like to say about your husband's operation and how he is?

I suspect despite the illness you have given as much as you possibly can anyway to all in need.

I hope you get some sleep and the stress goes down. Also the clenching of theteeth -unless you are like me and can get a new set of finest plastic ones made up whenever the current set wears down:)

Croix (who displays fine dentition in his avatar)

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix for your caring reply, My husband's operation went very well fortunately. Good anesthetist decided to avoid the complications of a general & tried a local. He was very sore for a day & tired but much better than expected. I'd worried beforehand as he'd had a recent emergency admission to hospital where they were only able to do a temporary fix but left him at risk of a repeat episode until surgery repaired problem properly.

I'm struggling to work out how to deal with the multiple stressors in my life. I feel unmotivated but also struggle to relax so I feel like I don't acheive anything.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm glad you husband had a wise anesthetist and all went well. Mrs C had a hip done under an epidural (with sedation) and it made the world of difference not having a general. She was chattering on the phone the same evening. (i.e. business as usual:)

I'm sure you know already but having too many things on your plate will itself produce a lack of motivation, trying to deal with the impossible often does that, for me at least.

Successfully relaxing is itself an achievement, a very necessary one. If you manage for a while it is a victory, no matter what you think ( I tend to forget this at times and have to remind myself).

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I thought I was getting over my chest infection & trying to motivate myself to get essential work done around my house. Having holes in the wall & power points hanging out where the tiles were removed 2 mths ago makes retiling the kitchen essential. I need the flooring laid as it is n't great to walk in the kitchen currently. Unfortunately my attempt to try moving forward with the house has sent me backwards health wise. Today I feel worse than ever & my husband keeps nagging me to go to emergency even tough I only saw the GP today. My family aren't able to help. One son still in psych ward with no sign of improvement. Other son who normally helps when I'm stuck is snowed under with urgent jobs & tight time frame to fit in with trades people. My daughter is still struggling the fallout since her MIL died recently leaving huge debts & lots of problems to sort. 'm worried about the risk of my husband catching my infection which could be life threadening. I don't know how to change things. My mood is realy low due to the stress & frustration

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

It does sound very much like you need domiciliary care at the moment. This will relieve the stress on you so you can concentrate on getting better, and at the same time allow you a degree of separation from your husband so he does not catch your infection

I'd ring our 24/7 help line 1300 22 4636 and ask what is available in your area.

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Unfortunately arranging people to care for my husband is problematic because \his condition is rare so I need to spend time informing people of his needs which I didn't feel able to manage. I am feeling a bit better. I do need to arrange extra supports for the long term to reduce the pressure when I'm unwell but I need time & energy to do that effectively. I'm feeling a bit better but trying to get back to things slowly so I don't relapse.

My son has been in hospital for over a month. Repeated shock treatments & more planned because he'snot better yet!!! This bothers me as it seems to be making him worse not better. I have only spoke to him on the phone because I'm not up to the long drive to visit (several hours each way) I feel powerless.