Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

Elizabeth CP · ‎30-07-2019

Thanks Shell,

Still struggling. I was told to practice breathing techniques to manage anxiety but that seems to be making me more anxious as I'm not doing it properly. Too many things on my plate. Don't know what to do

Guest_2496 · ‎30-07-2019

Hi Elizabeth

When I’m super stressed and try to do breathing exercises I find myself focusing on the breath not in a good way! And then it can make it worse - like I can’t get a decent breath when I’m fact I’m over breathing.

Maybe something else to distract you now would be better. Do you ever listen to anything on YouTube or - I find the Headspace app helpful. They have a meditation called Panicking and it’s only 3 mins - perfect for a quick reset. (I’ll sometimes do it over and over)

Or (I know this sounds simple and/or you maybe already do it) write a list and cross things off. It helps me to see I have gotten some things done and not necessarily the big hard things but like ‘get washing in’, knit 3 rows, check mailbox.

Doolhof · ‎30-07-2019

Hi Elizabeth and All reading,

I think there are many different types of breathing exercises.

I was trying one yesterday while out in the garden. I discovered I couldn't pull weeds and concentrate on the breathing at the same time! Maybe that is the whole point of the exercise! Only do one thing.

The technique I was trying was breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for two seconds then breathe out for 6 seconds.

When I tried it again this morning just sitting in a chair with nothing else to do it worked a lot better! When I messed up I just started again.

Hope you do find some help with these breathing skills Elizabeth.

Cheers from Dools

Elizabeth CP · ‎31-07-2019

hanks Dools & Annie,

I'm glad I'm not the only only one struggling to do the breathing. Sometimes I feel stupid for not succeeding. Dools Your method is the one I was told to practice. I guess I need to practice more when I'm not stressed so I've got more chance of using it when I really need it. I feel there is so much to do that I just can't cope & then can't do even simple things, The really important & urgent things are just too overwhelming but I need to do them but I don't know how to get help. Then my husband keeps asking for things or needing help & I feel guilty for not being able to help him properly.

Elizabeth CP · ‎10-08-2019

Things continue to go wrong. I don't know how to change things. Everything I try seems to fail. My mood fluctuates from flat with no motivation which leads to feeling guilty & overwhelmed because I'm getting nowhere with the urgent things needing doing, then high levels of anxiety causing headaches & sleep problems & sore jaw from clenching it with outbursts of anger when things go really wrong. I no longer have anything to look forward to. I started seeing a new therapist for exposure therapy for PTSD but he has decided I'm not able to cope with the therapy so it needs to be really slow avoiding the real issues leaving me feeling like a total failure. I can't see any point in continueing. My son has taken over managing the insurance issues because I can't cope I don't know where to turn when I become totally overwhelmed & out of control which is becoming very frequent.

Guest_2496 · ‎11-08-2019

Hi Elizabeth

Just my opinion but I don’t think any of us are failures. One foot in front of the other and things will get done at their own pace.

I think it’s great your son has taken over the insurance issue. Let him push that along while you focus on other things. Maybe try the new therapist a bit longer or go back to your gp and let them know it’s not what you were expecting / wanting.

Mans is there something you can think of, just for yourself, to bring some fun into your week? So that you do have something to look forward to - what are some of your interests?

Elizabeth CP · ‎11-08-2019

All my life I've been very goal directed. Even as a young child I couldn't wait to go to school & I remember coming home each night & practicing my reading desperate to get it right so I could get onto the next level. As a teenager my parents sent me to the cinema trying to force me to have a break. I made an excuse for not staying!!! The current issues leave me feeling out of control. This lack of control seems to trigger my PTSD bringing out all the related negative feelings of guilt, failure, uselessness Attempts to push through (my normal mode of operation is to push through regardless until I hit the wall) seem to get stopped by competing issues so I don't get the chance to finish anything & feel good about it.

Guest_1055 · ‎11-08-2019

Hi Elizabeth, I know having goals can be a good thing. Just wondering is there anything else in your life that brings you a similar satisfaction and for you to feel good about. Or maybe you just need to lower this invisible bar you seem to have set for yourself? Or perhaps I am on the wrong track here. Wish I could help you feel better somehow Elizabeth.

Elizabeth CP · ‎12-08-2019

Thanks Shell,

The problem isn't that I'm trying to achieve unrealistic or unreasonable goals at the moment. I have a lot of competing demands on my time so I end up feeling overwhelmed. Last week I made several attempts to try to prioritize the most urgent so I could get them done. An example of an urgent important thing is sorting out, typing & printing my husband's physio exercises. The aim is to make it easy for me to help him with his exercises & set it up so carers can also help him do these exercises taking some pressure off me. When we don't do the exercises his condition deteriorates & it is harder or impossible to regain his previous level of function. Unfortunately every time I started working on these tasks I would get another phone call or other interruption. Because most of these interruptions increased my stress levels I couldn't focus on the task even after the interruption.

Guest_1055 · ‎12-08-2019

Ah I see. You need to be some kind of octopus. Just trying to bring a bit of "happy" to you there in amongst the stress and stuff.

I know your son is looking into the insurance stuff, but is there anyone else in your life that you could delegate other issues to at all? Maybe you have ready thought of that.

Anyway I care and I am listening to you