existential and social anxiety - can you relate?

[swtpotato]

hi everyone,

I was posting on the welcome and orientation section but thought I should move things here as it's more on-topic.

So my mental health story: I have always been really introverted and spacey kinda kid but also very optimistic and idealistic. I grew up being really self-conscious and felt like there was something wrong with me but was pretty good at ignoring it.
I had this bad lsd trip (1.5yrs ago) which blew all of my insecurities way out of proportion. I had all this derealisation and depersonalisation and severe social anxiety which led me to develop IBS and chronic fatigue. I was obsessed with the concept of identity and meaning and thought it was impossible to truly connect with other people.

[Pysis]

Hi m

howd you go today?

thinking of you

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi shelly

um Lilly jumps into bed and sleeps in between the 2 of them she also drinks coke I think.

she was a joey I was going to raise a couple years ago but at the time I had to much studie so I gave her to my friend to raise and she fell in love with her and has absolutely spoiled her, she also has a possum that lives on the wardrobe and she had a magpie that liked getting its nails painted, haha.

Thinking of you

Nath

[Guest_1055]

I am thinking of you m and hoping you are okay there.

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

You know Nath you really are a nice guy. Your caring heart shines through in your words. About the magpie, I have never seen anything like that before, that is it allows its nails to be painted. I like possums their fur feels so soft.

shell

[Pysis]

Hi shelly

thank you that means a lot, you seem like a very nice person as well.

do you have a thread I could check out?

haha, yeah if you could see half the things I have it wouldn't sound that strange, I had a galah and a duck that fell in love and used to kiss each other, haha and I've got a peacock that thinks it's a dog and eats the dog food from the back veranda and sleeps in the dog bed. I used to work with possums of all kinds at a zoo and I loved giving them cuddles they are very soft.

thinking of you

Nath

[swtpotato]

Hi Pepper,

Thank you,

I appreciate you saying that but also realise I suck at taking compliments and get weird about general praises but I still think you are a little right but it's like I can't let myself feel good about it, it feels too egotistical which might be a problem.

But last few days people I've had a few positive comments about things that I would take completely differently myself (u say smart, I say think too much) so I'm trying to convince myself that I'm just too harsh. I obviously am but it's more about the automatic nature of it.

I've also noticed how insightful and empathetic your responses to others have been all over this forum (I was like wow Pepper is an expert at this). You've just got it, natural talent.

Was a bit muddled and confused but generally managed to accept things more than normal today.

hope you're going well

- m

[swtpotato]

Hi Nath,

I am going ok, I had a nice day.

Mind was a bit jumbled, trying to trip me over a bit but I felt pretty stable overall.

Easily connected to positive memories today

tbh cried a lot because of that, I had felt like I had lost all of it.

maybe meds are starting to work a bit, having weird outbursts of emotion

studied - saw a friend - napped a lot - went to the cinema with my housemate and it wasn't tense, simply ordinary (how wonderful is ordinary).

last 2 days very busy, weeks before that mostly spent in bed/couch, sometimes at uni. big change.

I'm sorry I haven't been on other threads as much I've been pretty fatigued/busy

Thanks for your support ( u too shell)

also yes I like hugs

- m

[Cesca1557]

hi M,

glad you went to therapy today, i find that they can be quite draining as they bring up a lot of emotions, that personally i shove away/try to forget about on a daily basis so crying or feeling overwhelmed is completely normal.

we are all here to support you 🙂
hope the rest of the day has been nice
and dont worry about not being on the threads too much recently! i havent posted anything in a few days myself, everyone has breaks for different reasons at different times
big hugs x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi m,

I think you have pretty much said it all yourself on why you struggle with compliments. I mean, you tend to answer all your own questions anyway; it's a good thing.

It goes without saying that you are the expert on you (just as I'm the expert on me, for example). But the difference between you and a lot of other people is you seem to intuitively understand this..

I mean, with that in mind, no wonder you commented on how you're perhaps seeking a psych to help you externalise your internal thoughts ...I mean, you already have the answers/insight within (and keenly aware of that fact) so a psych only has to help you tease them out...at least that's my unsolicited opinion anyway...

Anyway, here I go rambling again...

Thank you, you're very kind 🙂 Your words made me smile. Although I'm not sure about being an "expert." You just haven't seen my posts where I'm in panicked hysterics or talking about lightning and dragonflies (don't even ask lol).

I'm glad you're sounding more settled today...

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xo

[Pysis]

Hi M

I'm gald you've had a good day. It's really good that you were more connected to your memories and you had a bit of a cry over some of them that's really good that you could get that emotion out. I'm glad your room mate was good today, and yeah ordinary feels awesome when it happens dosent it, I dint have much of that but it dose feel good.

there is never need to apologise for anything on here ok.

awesome ok, well here are a few masive big bear hugs from me then.😃

Sending my love and thinking of you.

Nath