Everything is so hard

[Karen71]

I was am a student tafe.

I put all assignments in.

I completed all work.

i had problems with one assignment whick shook me.

Mental health assignment .

I cried itried i tried to tell the teacher it was to close to my own life story.

She dosent like me so shrugged my attempt off.

I failed my test in the last week.

18mnths for nothing.

They dont care that im torn apart.

4 wrong on acute means to bad to sad.

I tried so very hard.pateints loved me.

Teachers not.

My first test was 1 week after abdominal surgery my sevond the same week that i learnt my son was needing a op to save his sight.his 8.with aspergus.

I tried so veryhard.i studied till 2 am most nights because i couldnt when kids were awake.

All day its tantrums.all night its study.

I have always suffered from depression and ptsd.

I sucked it up took the bull by the horns and did my best.

I alwayfail.idont belong.

It sucks.im tied im defeated.im so alone.

I hate life peole are mean.

No im not in danger im simply done.

Why are people so mean.why do they lie and alienate.why dont i be long.

My teacher simply felt i shouldnt pass.

What is that.

Just because i make a complaint they make my life hell.

My life is already full of stress i didnt need them to add to it.

Im shattered.

Ive creid for 4 weeks now.the skin around my eyes is starting to blister.

Why are eople so cruel.

My son cant play with other children.

He has to stay 1 meter away from all kids at school.

Seriously why dont people realise the pooain they give to others.

Im sohurt.so very sad.

I want to give up but i cabt because of the kids.

Im sostied.i dont likwe this world its mean and nasty.is

[demonblaster]

Hey kaz 🙂

Just popped in for a quicky coffee and Hi 🙂

how's today darl?
Are you getting much sleep these days?

I do understand how incredibly hard it is to do things in this state but as you can see there's people that care, supportive and want to see you pull up and out.

How do you feel about popping in daily even if just a few minutes & chat with us.
I like the stuff people are saying about ways they've learnt to get through

Trust me darl, there will be light. You ARE strong enough to pull up and find it.
We're here and wanna help you.

Have you spoken to anyone yet? (professionals)

You're not alone anymore

Thinking of you

[demonblaster]

Hey Mickey 🙂

Yeah the more I read the more I want to. Great place isn't it with people that understand & support, we all need that.

have good night 🙂

[Karen71]

Sorry i havnt posted for a while.

My memmory gets ehoosy sometimes.

Seems ive beesick.i went to doctor seems i have emphasemia and pneumonia.

Ironic.

Didnt tell him how bad i was though as he is happy with how much i have achieved.I didnt want to let him down.

It does help having youguys.

[demonblaster]

Hey chooks, that's ok know what ya mean about memory.

Glad here's helping, it is good aye

Yikes, pneumonia they can fix what about the emphysema, what did they say. Poor thing, at least when you recover from pneumonia you should be feeling a better physically hopefully.

Sweet I can't TELL you what to do but can I strongly urge you to spill the beans with GP, they need to know to be able to help

Do you have much time to yourself? Kaz. I'm guessing not with kids.

How are you these days mentally

I'm off to tt (Table tennis sarvo) Missed a lot recently with worst of grieving for late darling partner & other times smackin depression but enjoying it again

Anything you like doing, sport or creating, reading (Probs not yet) art etc
Try & push through the non motivation to do small things you enjoy can be good distraction and a lifter

[topsy_]

Hi Karen

Wow! Pneumonia & emphysema. No wonder you've felt so rotten! My depression always gets worse if I'm ill.

I just wanted to share with you something my very first counsellor said to me.

She said that she knew I had the strength to do the work to get better from the depression & PTSD because I had survived all the bad things that caused them in the first place.

I was so incredibly angry when she told me that. I KNEW what strength it had taken to just survive & I was mad as hell that I had to expend all that energy again!

Of course she was correct & it really was a compliment to my ability but I was still cheesed of anyway.

I guess she turned out to be right though. It was a lot of hard work but I have survived. There were times when like you I didn't want to.

But there have been so many good times. I can promise you Karen grandchildren are just the best! Love them & then give them back lol !!

Please know that I am thinking of you each day. Take care, Lyn.

[MickeyM]

Hi there, sweetie

You poor thing, no wonder you're feeling like crap! I agree with Lyn, my anxiety really kicks up a notch when I'm not well. Even a head cold can play havoc.

I agree with Demon blaster, too, tell your GP what's going on with study. You won't let him down, you've achieved so much and I'm pleased that he's supportive and proud of you, but please don't misinterpret that to mean he'll be disappointed. Trust me. We're proud of you, too, and we'd love for you to finish your diploma. Talk to him.

On another note, does your children's school offer support? A good friend of mine has 2 young children, both with aspergers. They go to a mainstream school, and she gets a lot of support.

Chat soon

Mickey

[demonblaster]

Hey Kaz 🙂 ((( Hugs )))

Good post Yellow, yes I'm starting to see that way too, we do have the strength because at our lowest points, we're still here to reflect & use that as steel, we all have it in us. Doesn't seem like it atm but you're pushing through, that takes strength. Good girl.

Good point Mickey about school offering support, a niece has 4 boys ALL with Autism, (umbrella term for Aspergers now) and some ADHD too. She battles schools for support & is winning.
It's your right as a mother as well as your dear child.

I think too sweetheart don't give up on the diploma, you're clearly cut out for that, patients loved you & that means you've got the goods. In it for the right reasons.
What about setting yourself a future goal, to do it later. It's something you want to achieve & wanting makes it easier.

Firstly though you need to get yourself better
First up you NEED badly to get rested, sleep.
Did you talk to GP about something to help with sleep ? & please darlin, tell him where you're at, you desparately need help & he can organise it. He'll still be proud of where you've got so far but can't do anything more till he knows what's happening.

Let's do this in baby steps, I'm not going anywhere Kaz... you're stuck with me 🙂 & by the looks here, the others aren't either.

Meant to suggest, you said about memory (understandable) if you have a mobile what about a reminder daily to pop in, even if you're not up to talking much which is ok, you can still read, think about stuff and & the biggly is knowing people do care, you do have support here.

Thinking of you xx

[topsy_]

Hello Karen

Just a quick check in for today. I hope you've been able to get a little rest. I hope you'll recover soon from your pneumonia & emphysema.

I haven't done very much today. Two loads through the washing machine & one in the dryer. Some days I get "stuck" in my lounge chair. Like today. I just have to hope the next day will be a better one.

Take care Karen. Rest as much as you can.

Kind thoughts, Lyn.

[demonblaster]

Hey Kaz darl, Yellow & all 🙂

Hope you're starting to recoop Kaz, it'll be a big boost when you're health picks up

Yellow hope your days better today hun 🙂 Good old armchair aye, comfort zone know it well.

Jeez said to myself I'll start getting up when I wake up, NOooooooo didn't mean witching hours, trying to get this card finished for friend that recently passed suddenly for her Mum & of course in honor of friend, was hoping to have it done by now, need to spread it round for people to sign. Arghhhh, not even sure when the funeral is yet either. Feeling pretty average today but enough sleep should do the trick.

Ok guyz have a good one

[Karen71]

Baby steps then.

Yellow and demon what shall i call you?

Whish i had inspiring helpful wise words for you instead thanks