Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[Guest_1584]

Gday Paul mate , hows things with you. Thanks so much for the words and encouragement, muchly appreciated and same back atcha.

Strange m who am l to question it , go with whatever but never fear, l actually really enjoy supporting whereever l can around th eplace and l notice say you grandy many many others do the same it's no bother at all , kinda feel good in fact.

Heya grandy , you and deebie are mushy ones aren't cha, couple of huggims back atcha. Funny l was in a gov department today , it was an effg nightmare, allllll day. 4 aclock she says now you;ll have to fill out these , great , more forms. Well l'm dyslexic and l can't just fill out forms, especially after a whole day of bs/ l have to take them home or sit in the car and just get them the right way to see them then l can fill them out. but l often can't see them , it's bs hard to explain but just how it is. Anyway all l could see was blur but l could sure see her long black hair down to her butt and felt like saying well, can't l just cuddle you and your hair instead , but l didn't haha/ Anyway l explained and conned her into filling out them out, so no cuddles and hair but l got the forms.

But l'm thinking , too much yeah , we do don't we how can we not. But maybe it's lucky there been so much on off garbage this last 6 yrs, yaknow. Because we have to get up and do it , don't we. So it keeps us in there and moving, maybe it's a good thing , you think. Couldn't imagine what shape l'd be in if l had the choice of moping right through, yaknow, could well be worse even dangerous.

But , shouldn't complain, really . l've had an incredible life and l work for myself to and yeah it has it's problems but l also only work 6mths a yr so l get heaps of time off often l take a few mths straight. Everything has it's pros and cons , right.

l also had the pleasure of blowing 50 grand when we sold the house, ok not too smart l know, but eh l bloody enjoyed it let me tell ya.

Soooo, who knows.

Thank you very much for the support people , really.

rx

[CMF]

I'm hearing you loud and clear and understand the feeling.

Here for you my friend.

CMF x

[Guest_1584]

Thanks very much cm , so appreciated.

more thoughts , too many , l guess. l might add to that there were a lot of bills and some other debts and moving costs after we sold , then unfortunately l wasted 1000s on car trouble so there wasn't really much left at all to blow anyway in the end .

l dunno what's happened with my frame of mind just lately , it's taken a turn for the worst although a pile of crap all at once hes pushed things too far admittedly so it's understandable. But for a long time there earlier l'd just been in a complete "whatever and to hell with it " mode mentally and it helped me cope with the crap that came along.

Wish l could find that again right now.

[Ggrand]

Dearest Randomx...

How about, packing some yummy sandwiches, a nice drink, preferably non alcoholic, then go for a nice walk up that mountain near yours, then sit down on a blanket or a rock, take your shoes and socks off, but watch out for 🐜 ants...look around at the amazing 🌲 trees their shapes are really incredible, then maybe you can here the birds 🐦 🦉🐤 singing their praise for another day...look around and pick up a rock and notice what it looks like and feels like, then when your minds starting to settle and your feeling grounded a little..take out your yummy picnic lunch and enjoy it , while watching and listening to Mother Nature..🌹..

I hope your day turns out better for you then it started..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[Guest_1584]

Ahh thanks grandy that sounds like a damn nice idea. Maybe after work.

A friend of mine in Slovenia , we talk every day , has a hill near her home, beautiful hill it it she always sends me pics and all her life it's been "her hill" . She was just up there picking berries yesterday, they have these blue berries , they also have bears and it snows in the winter so the track is shrouded with snow in the trees over hanging., it always looks like heaven on earth. She laughs about the bears and says she knows where they all are and they have an understanding she does her thing they do theirs and all is well.

Only last night she said look to hell with the bs , jump on a plane we'll grab some wine and go up the hill. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Mind you we are use to bears over here are we and l'd be a touch edgy about that side of things l must admit.

Nic eidea andway grandy , might see what l can do later .

Hope your doin ok.

rx

[Guest_1584]

gf and l were always there and supporting each other a lot earlier in with both our marriages breaking up at the exact same time before hand but it was weird really , in other ways we never really touched on much stuff , as far as crap here for me and that. Like she was always with me and behind me and me her but l also didn't really wanna touch too much on my everyday hassles as she was always overloaded herself too and was basically restarting her whole life. So we were always there but kinda stayed strong with our crap and pushed through yaknow.

My Slovenian friend well it's funny , with two such different countries and life styles , both are a world away so even with simple things the differences are so wide so you don't really bother with them too much on that level . Sounds like a beautiful country over there though and they really look after the people. lt often sounds like everything is for the people and with the people's well being and lives in mind. Eevrything is extremely cheap and affordable and catered for , it sounds pretty damn cool let me tell ya. And they aren't mixed up in any over seas crap or out there trying to be big shots like Australia's always trying to do , just a tiny country minding it's own business and living life , so it often seems anyway.

Family are such a crock in ways though aren't they. They should be the ones we lean on and support each other , yet why does it seem so often the oppositly far from the reality with most people.

rx

[Guest_1584]

well , l dunno wth has is going on or happened , or gone wrong. l probably shouldn't even be involved in forums right now , it might be a some kind of distraction thing , l'm not sure. Although there are others with so much going on too, maybe it's the being around each other, maybe it helps perhaps.

It seems every time l talk about my life in any good way , things come undone. does anyone else get that ?

but l'm not sure why but works been coming up a lot lately with people, and l don't usually talk too much about work or especially the good sides of what l do , because it has a way of biting me when l have before and it's not all good , it can bite me back bad, so l'm usually very wary about saying too much. Business you know , it can be very up down. extremely.

For some reason though work and lifestyle has came up a lot lately and really for the first time ever l've allowed myself a little breather and talked about the goods of mine, when it's came up or asked. Well , it's bitten , again . Unbelievable .

Only a few weeks ago , all year in fact , l've had good money in the bank , jobs have been going out well , and my cabin is rented and he's been paying ok except for just lately he lost he's job but even the back rent was suppose to be coming in this week. He flat out lied to me, to my face..

But in the space of a few damn short weeks , l haven't been paid for 2 jobs now, and all l can do is weight and pray , the cabin rent hasn't come in and would you believe l've had to kick him out because he's 3mths behind now , and money in the bank has gone on house payments bills and living because pays and cabin rent haven't come in. Thinking l was safe l'd have normally easily have been payed buy now .

l can't believe it . and would you believe l've got 4 millionairess in my family , and l can't ask any of them , not one , for a tie over loan .

l swear sometimes l really hate our society and way of life . Because without money you are totally screwed and in serious trouble within weeks even days. The whole thing runs on money , lots and lots of money , even with a cheaper lifestyle life still costs an absolute fortunes and with money your done.

[Ggrand]

Heel Randomx,

I really hope that things look up for you soon and you get paid for your last two jobs...Maybe it won't take long to get another boarder in your cabin..

I can relate to without money your done....so very much...Yeah...

The forums are a good place to get your feeling out Randomx..and it's my main type of distraction...

Kind and caring hugs..🤗.

Grandy...

[Guest_1584]

Thanks very much grandy . And it's incredibly good of you to take the time in supporting and helping others here the way you do with how hard your struggling yourse;f right now. l know all would very m,uch appreciate it but l hope your looking out for yourself first and fore most too.

Take care eh.

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx,

how are you doing?

cmf x