Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[blondguy]

Hey RX

I get it where being in close proximity to our ex is concerned....it can be awkward (understatement of the year)

It would be a pain when you are comfortable in your own place and yet are stuck when it comes to what decision to make RX...

What type of car does your daughter want to drive?

Hope you have been reasonably okay mate

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hey paul , thanks for dropping in mate.

Yeah l really hate still being near ex . It is a shame about the damn house to of course but yaknow what there is one big thing about the house l really don't like and nothing you could do about it,

Geoff would cry but l just do not like the high ceilings , my daughter doesn't like them either., l just don't find it cosey sooo , maybe it's just as well .

Anyway how have you been mate , keeping ok Any change with your daughter sitch ? Mine ha l asked her what sort of cars she like the other day actually , she doesn't know haha.

Me not too bad . Probably too much thinking. Funny l've been trying to get to sleeping more and l'm up to 5 6 7 hours a night now , one night l actually slept in next morning.

lt's very strange crashing at 12 or 1 every night now l'm usually just getting warmed up by then and it comes around so quick . But the weidr thing is l was never tired before but now that l'm getting more sleep l'm always tired, work that out . Anyway l'll persist , think it'll do me good in the end just gotta adjust l suppose. Missing the night thoiugh. l wanna build back up to 7 or 8 hours, been years and years since l slept that much.

All the best anyway mate , hope your doin ok.

[Guest_1584]

Well , l think l've pretty well decided that l am moving. l've moved so many times in life , 1/2 self inflicted because we went off interstate for so many years. buttt, still more. Bit of gypsy blood l think.

Deep down inside though l do have a little what seems like fantasy , but a dream really, of settling down and staying in the one place for the rest of my days , really hoping , maybe next time. l hoped this time , but l simply just do not wanna risk staying here the way it is.

Sadly though l mostly feel so much for the house itself. l know l've gone on about that but it's just an issue l have. l wish l could pack it on a truck and take it with me. How much does a house itself account in your life ? lf you have a great house in a bad spot , what happens if you stay because you do love the house itself. yaknow.

l was up on the rood today , gotta admit , l love that roof too , and it was nice looking down over the rest of it from above , see her from another angle.

Anyway , l feel and have been advised, l should push on , there are other houses so they tell me. So l'm getting out a few agents over the next few days see what they reckon. l also need to know and figure out if it's worth my while and outlay to do cosmetic spruce up too , price wise or could l even make some money in the climate here right now, Normally and doing this place properly , you'd be looking at a 150% gain for sure , but the markets fairly slow here right now and the house is still a long long way from fully done and won't be now. So l have to cover what l've spent and buying selling costs too to even break even first of all.

Sooo, we see what they think. Try and get some idea hopefully .

Been such a huge last 6yrs though , l must admit l do feel a bit rattled at the thought of moving yet again but further and a whole new start this time. Damned if l do or don't though soon because l do have to to make up my mind about a few other big things. this year all entwined so it's pretty well now or never to yea or neigh and get the ball rolling l'm afraid,

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Thanks for saying G'day and asking about my daughter. I really appreciate it RX. My daughter wants everything now....the mega TV..the premium Foxtel etc etc

She lives with her 2 kids and still wants everything immediately...Its so tiring but I have stopped sending her anymore money....she is 25 and has been brought up to be careful with her finances...and it hasnt worked..grr

Good on you for making the decision to move RX.....At least you dont have to sweat it anymore

That day you dream about about being in one place and settling down will come RX....seriously

Dont beat yourself up about the last six years RX...Yes..they suck and I understand. I had six years in the family court just trying to have my fortnightly access with my daughter in the 90's....thats when I started to get the awful anxiety attacks...anyway...

You will do well with your property RX. Without mentioning anyone the people that run great ocean road re are meant to be really good

Always great to have you on the forums RX. I missed your second last post as I have some serious brain fog happening

Sometimes just making a decision can be a huge stress reliever.....whether its the right or wrong decision 🙂

Thanx heaps too for helping out people on other threads too!

Cheers mate

Paul

[CMF]

Oh Wow! (Wave to Paul)

RX so proud of you and excited for you. Well done on such a big decision but I think you'll be happier. You'll find another house and turn it into your home in an area you'll be happy in. Think of it as a project. I think area is important to yr happiness. You can change the house, you can't change the area. As they say, buy the worst house in the best street. Your investment will do better in the long run in a good area.

im so excited for you.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm , thanks for dropping in and thanks a million for the encouragement too.

l do still get iffy, hate the thought of moving further from the coast too in ways, not like l can live on it though here, wayyyy too dear. We use to live down Barwon heads , absolutely love there but it's way out reach now too. But the whole buzz of that area is something l'd really love, so much happening down there now , so me haha, wouldn't know myslef after up here. Buttt, ain't gonna happen. There's heaps going on over where l wanna go though too and well, fingers crossed,

Hey Paul , thanks very much as always to btw.

That's weird your daughter at that age and 2 kids has that mentality right now , especially the way you raised her. It must be hard knowing how to handle it because really it's not your responsibility at that age is it. No doubt she thinks otherwise l guess by the sounds. Funny, l told my daughter she's doing so well at school l'd like to buy her her first car when time comes, just something cheap. She said no , couldn't believe it . Said ahh dado there's no need for that l'll be fine and some stuff. Not sure why .. Shame though , she's done such an incredible job getting through everything and now yr 11 and 12 at school on top of it, l'd just like too butttt, she'd rather l didn't. Maybe she's a chip off the old block , dad offered me one of his cars when l was 19, like an idiot l said no. pride or something.

Man those courts must've been horrific , damn l so hate families putting themselves through that stuff. We were determined to try to work together as best we could and it's worked out really well for my daughter but in saying that , theere has been many a time l've felt like telling ex where to go though let me tell ya.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement mate and l hope you've been doin ok.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Is it weird for a house to feel lonely at night ?

God knows why l'd need to ask l've lived in enough houses but , only one or two alone.that's the thing. l dunno why but l can't stay up and watch movies at night here, it just feels really empty and lonely, even with the fire going. Maybe it's the high ceilings added to the fact too that it is a little bit big for just one person and it could really use a womens touch for sure too. l've always loved staying up all hours or all nighters if l don't have to get up early but here l'd rather go to bed it's strange.

Anyway , just a rant to get it outa my head. But l've been feeling very weird and very alone. Yet l worked out l saw 8 or 9 people last week. From work customers that came out , my daughter, brother, few other people. Not for hours on end though except my daughter , but there was plenty of contact really for just one week. And then bro and l spent sunday at the pub , watching the fight and a few beers so you can add a few 100 crowd on top of that. .Yet l've seen no one, cept my daughter, brother on sunday. still that's not bad yet, l feel totally alone , well l still am 90% of the time usually.

l dunno if l'm just being a winger . l had a friend , 49, she was living out on this huge old farm house with 17ft ceilings all alone after her marriage broke up and she was having a very hard time financially and things in general were very lonely and very rough for her on going a few years. , strange yet she hardly complained. We got drunk many times in that old farm house and sat up talking all night but l was really the only visitor she had.

Strangely enough , another lady example, a customer the other day came out to look at a camper, she needed it to live in , she was 70., alone , had family in melbourne but she moved up here alone 5yrs ago and things went bad , lost her rental ran out of money and needed a camper ,

so why am l feeling this all so much . Granted l'm still getting through the split with gf , but life just feels totally down the toilet.

Sorry about the moaning but if l can't moan in my own thread where can l moan eh.

rx

[CMF]

I'm hearing you my friend. I feel lonely too, especially on weekends. I can be with people all day and at night I still feel lonely. When I worked in retail was the worst. Would work Friday night an Saturday, ten come home to on empty house and I struggled with that, felt so down. Even though I enjoy my own company I feel it too, in the evenings. As you know, my attempt to connect to with someone didn't work out, so I feel it even more now.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm.

Oh no it didn't work out , last l saw there'd just been a gap but l hoped he might've just been snowed under. So sorry anyway cm.l think the risk stops a lot of people trying actually. but you be proud you tried ok , that was a big thing. No pain no glory right.

Even in retail gee l would think you'd be thankful after that but nope l do get ya.

lt's the real companionship isn't it , for me a million people won't full that void, guess we're screwed right. well , only for now maybe , hey.

l dunno , in this relationship forum l hang out in they're all saying how they love being single, people of all ages , guess it's just not my cup of tea. There are times l lap the freedom up and l can be a slob, have my movies full bore, my music full bore , not feel guilty sleeping in, no in law hassles , surely it's got it's good points right.

[Guest_1584]

Been a total shyt of a week l'm afraid.

mOney hassles my last job is held up , stress is back as l;ve just paid all the bills and there's nothing left , not sure when l'll be paid. andddd , it shouldn't be a drama l had heaps and rent from my cabin was due but he's lost his job and is giving me stories 5 wks now, think l'll have to kick him out.l need the damn money this week though.

haven't seen or talked to a soul all week except my daughter for an hour. and coming going from aq few shops. It's been terrible weather and the house had been cold can't seem to get the fire going hot this week , bad wood .Must go find some good stuff sunday if it stops raining.

Just feeling so alone right now , well l am alone . full stop really , there's no sugar coating way else to put it. l wish sometimes l was more a friend person , l'm a partner person but l've just never really been too into friends and they've always let me down or moved or turned on me anyway, But geez it'd be nice to have someone around sometimes to help out when things are bad , even to just be a friend you could trust.

To have just one family member, family the size of mine it's insane but there's no one. Even my brother lives up here he's not really that way. he's younger too so l'd feel silly leaning on him too much. We hang out a bit but it's fairly superficial. There is one sister that is a very loyal and l know would stand by me thick or thin but and l know this sounds bad, but l sort of feel she's not good for me to be too close too. She's 51 she's been single all her life and we're just different people yaknow, and she couldn't even imagine what l've been through this last 6yrs marriage break up and stuff , or even my gf, she's always single she just doesn't get any of it. No kids.

l shouldn't have a worry in the world right now financially l had heaps in the bank and heaps owing from rent and a work job , spent too much , the rent hasn't come in , the job at work hasn't been picked up yet , could be weeks , God almighty it'd ne nice to have a bit of luck just once .

And l'm feeling stressed about moving later in year and leaving here. This house came very easy, wish the rest of life would come that easy , but now it's best l leave, damn. But l probably would even be like this if l wasn't here, this damn area has been a struggle since the day we got here 11 yrs ago.

Seems to have worked for ex , if ya call losing your family and marrying someone else worked.

Sorry about the rant

rx