DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Chloe_M]

Hi all,

Depression has backed off a little, i find it a little easier atm to manage and keep away. maybe because my anxiety is more prominent theres not much room for other stuff lol

unfortunately, like Dools said earlier, MI is like a rollercoaster. The depression hits me at random moments and it hurts.

x take care everyone

[startingnew]

Hi Chloe

MI is definitely a roller coaster

here for you if you need to talk. Hoping todays just a little easier

[Kimmikiwi]

Hi Chloe,

It sucks that it's either depression or anxiety, nothing in the middle. Do you have a counsellor or psychologist or someone to talk to?

[startingnew]

Hello Kimmikiwi and welcome to the forums. 🙂

Please feel free to take a look around the forums and post where you feel comfortable. And also your most welcome to start a thread of your own so you can get support for yourself.

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Dools.

Sorry to hear about the terrible weekend you've had. Just advise before I begin, I haven't read through the rest of the thread and so I may cover on or come to a conclusion that someone else has already made but none the less I hope you find my input, valid.

I've not got a licence to drive as of yet but I have been used in a similar way to as you've explained. I was used as a living piggy-bank by an ex, she'd disappear for a weekend with her friends, I was left alone at her house. Turns out she was with another man, getting drunk and so on (not that the cheating part is what you're experiencing).

And so I found that during this time, I started to think, a lot. I thought about everything, from why she could've been doing what she was doing to what makes space black. Sitting down and meditating like that allows your brain to lead off on these random tangents and I find it quite, therapeutic. Once I sat down thinking about why my girlfriend was cheating on me but that lead on to thinking about cookies and then the rapper DMX and all sorts of things.

I hope you find this anecdote and advice useful.

Sincerely,

Just another guy.

[Doolhof]

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was quite a struggle to get through. I tried to accept my depression, and had an unproductive day watching T.V. snoozing and watching more T.V. and reading for a while.

This morning in bed, I decided I would try to include some achievements today, so I am pleased to say I have washed the car, done some ironing, a load of dishes, made lunch without turning it into charcoal, and have been for a walk.

My cold is slowly getting better. I have a bit more energy which has allowed me to do so many things today.

Mental health issues sometimes surprise me relating to how unexpected some days of depressio0n can be, they seem to drop down out of no where at times, are quite random and don't make a lot of sense when there doesn't seem to be a purpose behind the melancholy.

Like Just a guy mentioned, meditation and distractions are certainly very beneficial. At times reading a book helps me get out of mind. There are times when that is not possible though, that is when I try to use other strategies.

Chloe I like your avatar with the fish! Hope you are feeling a little better and can find ways to accept and reduce the power of your anxiety.

Hi to DB, SN, Grandy and Hi to Kimmikiwi as well.

Hope I haven't missed anyone! I really appreciate everyone dropping by.

I have a week's break from my study, the next section is released on Thursday on the computer.

I am so very pleased today is a lot better than yesterday! I'm getting a little tired of the irrationality of this depression. How dare it just pop up when it feels like it so uninvited!

Cheers all from Dools

[startingnew]

Hi Mrs D

sounds like you had a good and productive day! Well done to you.

How is your cold going?

How have you been?

Im glad youve got a weeks break from study. Your brain must be on overload!

Hoping todays a good one for you or at least has some good moments.

Xoxox 🌺🌼🌻🌷🌸

[demonblaster]

Great hearing todays better than yesterday Doolsy hi btw (by the way) and to everyone ☺

Wow you had a productive day yesterday good on you

😆 yes how rude of depression just popping in uninvited, love stuff you say

Oh good you have a break from studying, need that break I feel.

How's your physical health going Doolsy? Heart Blood pressure and your body.

Keep doing what you do Doolsy, you don't give in. Love it ☺

Care and fond thoughts 🤗💗

[Chloe_M]

Hi Dools (and all)

depression has been quite bad today. I self harmed last night and this morning.

I am going to get this app- it’s called BeyondNow (by beyondblue) and it’s a Suicide safety plan app. It helps you remember reasons to live etc.

i am seeing my psychologist for the first time ever on Saturday. I’m looking forward to going onto the road to recovery!!

x Chloe

[Doolhof]

Dear Chloe,

I am so very sorry that you have been feeling that down that self harm seemed to be the answer. I do so hope you are okay.

I sort of self harm in different ways, I over do things physically until I am in intense pain with my back injury and binge eat. Neither of those are good options.

Wishing you all the very best with your first ever psychologist appointment. It may help you to write down what is bothering you now and take in what you have written to hand to the psychologist.

The first appointment is generally asking how they can help you and getting a lot of information sorted like stuff regarding your family, what is othering you and so on.

Unfortunately the psychologist can not fix us up in one session! It may not be until your next appointment that you are offered suggestions of what will help you.

If you don't understand anything, ask questions. If you don't agree with something, you are able to share your own opinion.

The psychologist I see has a tissue box and a rubbish bin, those tears can sometimes flow if you want them to or not!

I also like to go for a short walk after the session. If one of your parents are taking you, consider what you might need to do after the session. Sometimes getting straight back in the car and trying to make sense of what just happened can be a little tricky.

Remember no matter what you say to the psychologist, they have no doubt heard it all before and maybe even stuff that is heaps worse.

So just be yourself at your appointment.

All the best to you, from Dools