DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Shelley,

Thanks. I'm not doing okay at all right now.

Not sure how to change things.

Dools

[demonblaster]

Dear Doolsy hi everyone ☺

I've been wondering quite often and particularly lately how you're going Doolsy.

Not so good hun by the sounds.

🤗 A long caring warm hug.

If you'd like to talk Doolsy you have a lot of people that care very much about you myself included.

You're an incredibly strong lady which is tested so often in these hard times. Lean on us darl.

Thoughts and care ⚘

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone,

Dools this thread says depression fight it or embrace it, but are they the only choices,?

Maybe I think that some of the things that need to change are not in your control.

I am sorry you are not doing so well and I know you keep trying different things and it must be tiring.

Take care

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dools🌷..

Im sorry that you’re not doing okay...I wish so much that you are doing okay...

If it’s okay lovely lady..I also would like to to give you a long caring hug..to let you know how much loved and cared you you are by so many beautiful people....here and r/l...

Be strong Mrs Dools...and as Deebi said sweety...”Lean On us” and take hold of our hands..Were all reaching out to you with open arms and hearts...as you have done for us so many times...

Kind thoughts precious lady....and some warm caring hugs..🤗🤗..

Grandy..

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mrs D, hello DB, Grandy, Quirky

Struggling a bit myself so it's a challenge to know what to say. You do sound like you are feeling sort of stuck there.

I care about you, just wanted you to know that.

[Doolhof]

Hi dear Shelley, Grandy, DB and Quirky,

Really feeling weighted down with depression and a sense of nothingness.

Reality does not feel like it exists, not the kind of reality I want to live in anyway.

Disconnection and shutting down. That seems to be my days at present.

Trying to encourage myself to get ready for Church.

Thanks all for your kind words and encouragement, I do appreciate it very much.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[demonblaster]

Dear Doolsy ⚘

It really is a terrible way to be isnt it you poor lady you do it hard so often. My heart goes out to you.

Good for you pushing through for church.

That's one of several things I admire about you Doolsy you keep on doing and do so many things to pull tnrough and cope.

Do you think maybe a look through your positives journal might bring some light.

Hun you don't have to talk but I'm popping the kettle on and pulling up a seat in your garden which I have no doubt many more of your friends will join.

Holding your hand and sending in a hug warmth and light.

I care very deeply about you dear lady.

Thanks for letting us know where you're at. Anytime hun always listening and your friend.

🤗☺🤝

[Ggrand]

Dearest Mrs Dools,

It saddened me to hear that your not doing at all well..

I like Deebi’s suggestion of reading your positive diary...by reading it, It could hopefully give you some strength in knowing that you do have some positives in your life..

Depression isn’t a natural part of us..it’s something that finds different people and tries to take over their thoughts and mind... it in a way turns us against us...it feeds of our negativity and grows stronger...as hard as it is to try to overcome our depressive thoughts...We can do it..by fighting back with positive thoughts and denying our depression time to grow and take over us..

We need to take our mind elsewhere..some different...Just little things, maybe sweeping the floor with music playing and challenging ourselves to sweep it, looking at each stroke and see how much dirt, dust etc we have collected, noticing how much brighter the floor looks...or sitting outside with paper and pen, counting the trees you see, counting the birds that listening to the songs of birds and write down how many different ones you hear...how many butterflies are flittering around that you see...Just simple little things, to help us re engage the positives that have temporarily left us....

I have wind chimes hanging from my veranda, when the breeze blows on them, I listen to the delicate sounds they make..so peaceful..do you have any wind chimes hanging up around your house or trees....

Its hard Mrs Dools...to force ourselves to do things when we are in a deep depression...But if we can and by doing it mindfully...It hopefully at times can help us to start taking control of our mind..bit by bit...

Depression wants us to do nothing but think of it...I know your stronger then your depression, you probably don’t think so at the moment...but you are.. Please dear mrs Dools...believe in yourself..like we all do...Your inspiration to us, your beautiful words to us, your kindness and care to us..is who you really are..and I want to thank you for the beautiful person you are..

Kind thoughts...love and hugs...dear precious lady..💖🤗.

Grandy..🌱🕊..

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mrs D, hello DB, Grandy, Quirky.

I am sharing this with you in hope it helps Mrs D. It is a text message that I wrote to my sister about a week ago and her reply to me.

Her reply to me was this:

I understand. Sometimes in life we do feel all of the things you described and it can feel very awful but at those times we need to dig our heels in because none of those things come out of what God has given us....from whats the real you. They all come from our flesh and the evil one. You need to start confessing the very opposite.....thank you Lord that I am loved so deeply, thank you that you have given me new life...a life without fear and shame. Thank you that I am forgiven and cleansed. That I am pure in your sight. Thank you that I am beautiful in your eyes. Thank you that I no longer have to be oppressed by anything not even my own feelings. Thank you that you have set me free. I praise you and worship you because you are so amazing. Just keep going. Everything opposite to what you stated. While you do this with words it will help your heart to submit to God. That is all it is just submitting to God...and that will resist the devil. He will soon grow tired of oppressing you with all these lies if each time he speaks it causes you to turn to God in worship and praise and confession of truth. Not to mention how much your walk with God will improve. It takes more effort to go Satans way...its exhausting. You actually have all you need to turn these bad times into times of strengthening.

I love you. Its truth that sets us free. But we have to apply it.

I will post what I wrote in my text to her. The above is her reply to me.

[Doolhof]

Dear Shelley, Grandy and DB,

Thank you so much for all your very kind words, thoughts and care. You have all provided me with some wonderful ideas, challenges even and positivity.

I will re-read what you have all written here later today and will make notes in my journal reminding myself of all the things I can do to help myself. You have all offered me so much. Thank you.

Part of my depressive episode this time was triggered by medication for reducing blood pressure. Unfortunately, it seems that being predisposed to mental health issues and having a Coeliac gut that does not process chemicals well caused me to have a rapid decline in mental health.

This has happened previously with different prescription medications. I find this kind of medication induced depression harder to overcome. I do also realise once the depression has been triggered, the downward spiral takes a bit to come out of again.

I was doing reasonably well before this last lot of medication. I just need to keep going and build myself up again.

Once again dear precious ladies, I appreciate all you have written and will copy out your words of encouragement. Thanks. Shelley, I really appreciate what you wrote too, thanks for sharing your sister's reply. I needed to read those words too!

Wishing you all peace and hope. Thank you so much. Hugs from Mrs. Dools