DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[demonblaster]

🤗 Doolsy research has found a good hugs uplifting (endorphine release) for those that like them and theres an energy transference.

I really feel for you darl and understand your frustration. You seem to have more depression than goods? You really put the hard yards in and facing the frustration of limited help and distance hinders you. Glad at least some help's coming through finally.

A couple of things. You'd know about deep breathing that makes so much sense because when our lungs aren't performing well we become very tired. We need energy. If we regularly gently deep breathe Grandy learnt saying internally R*E*L*A*X on exhale is proven to help calm also I make a point of being aware of my head neck shoulders softening on exhale. Oxygen gives us energy and this also works as a distraction.

If you can breathe in through the nose & think of goods in bads out when you exhale. Later you can think of a happy on breathing in. Might be a flower, birdy upside down ha saw one the do it the other day too 😀

This ABC Happies I've been doing brings on a lot of goods.

Pick a letter or start wit A. Only think of good. No triggers. Thinking about different aspects from the letter ...eg...

• L... Light... it's good especially when we're feeling dark

• Leaf...from a tree, on the ground. Maple leaf came to mind, different shaped & colour leaves. Trees love them, think what you like about thoughts. I love the bark and esp gum trees. See your thoughts

• Lettuce...nice-soft-crunch. Salads different salad foods etc feel the taste and texture

• Light bulb.. shape- see it. Little wires make it light up the room. Gives light- candles give light-warmth- cosy- relaxing. See the flame see different shape candles. Allow the mind to divert to other thoughts and feel them

• Listening... you're always heard and very cared about appreciated and loved here Doolsy 🤗 I'm sorry for both you and your friend RIP ⚘ very sad and your thoughts.

You're so kind fun caring very funny help people great communicator interesting & so much more. We and this world needs good people.

Please hold on and reinforce every negative with

" I want and am going to be happy"!

"I CAN and WILL do this" !

Hun we know the power of the mind. It's our thoughts... Believe you are strong enough, I and others do. We've seen great courage in you, you've been and go through so much yet you can find ways to counteract pain. Keep going hun. Respect and care

🤗💗⚘🌴

[Doolhof]

Hi DB,

Thanks. I'm really struggling right now and not holding it together very well at all.

Cheers.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear lovely Mrs Dools,


I’m deeply sorry hun, that you’re struggling so much....I know you’ve heard it time and time again yet I still want to say to you beautiful lady, that you’re not alone. No matter how many people tell you this or how cliché it sounds, it’s one of the truest things that I can say to you....Sometimes hearing this helps...I just want you to know that these feelings that you have are okay, and it does will get better.

Mrs Dools...The thoughts that you’re having now are temporary, and they will go away....it’s a phase you’re going through lovely Mars Dools....I am sorry that you’re in a dark place...It sounds like your struggling that you’re struggling more than you can even put into words....Please believe darl, that these day of sadness and heartache will not last...They will go away..you won’t feel like this all the time...I know it’s hard to believe atm..Please try Mrs Dools to believe that these thoughts, and emotions will pass....

Awe...sweety...you deserve so much more than all those horrid things that you are feeling right now....You deserve all of the happiness that this universe has in it.....

Mrs Dools.....You give so much of yourself to others here......This is something that I admire so much about you, as well as your strength, determination and want...to get well.....You are so caring, loving, beautiful and sweet person dear Mrs Dools.... I wish you could give yourself the love and care you give others here..... you need to be kind and gentle on you...Let those unhealthy thoughts pass through you and send them on there way.....you can do it ...I believe in you...your strong....Think of some beautiful times lovely lady...Maybe a bit of TV, or a book...Maybe light some scented candles and do nothing except watch the flame dance around....

I so hope that you sleep well tonight, ((maybe try a sleep story)), I hope you wake up and feel better then you did today...💜🤗...I’m here for you Mrs Dools as I’m sure your other beautiful friends are as well....


Sending you some love and some caring warm hugs 🤗🤗...Dear Mrs Dools...


Grandy..

[Guest_1055]

Oh Mrs D, my heart goes out to you big time. You sound just so sick of everything. Like perhaps things keep going on and on.

Wish I could say something to help you. But I am actually scared to. Reason being there are not too many people on here who talk about God, and I struggle with what people will think off me. Rejection issues.

Anyway I am going to be bold and just say it, because I care so much about you. And it’s hard to know you are hurting so much. 😢And I am aware you are not closed off to God.

Seek Him. Tell Him how you feel, tell Him how much you hurt. Oh Mrs D, I have lost count how many times I have done this myself. Sometimes I feel Him holding me, which brings a sense of peace and comfort. I honestly could not stand to live on this earth without Him.

Please Mrs D , I would do anything to help you not hurt so much.

Shell

[demonblaster]

Doolsy I really am sorry you're in so much pain.

Please hold on and believe in yourself that you can and will get through this and a good idea Shells talk to your God.

You can do this Doolsy.

We're right here with you every step dear lady.

Thoughts and care huns.

⚘

[Doolhof]

Dear Grandy, Shelley and DB,

Thank you so very much for your kind words and care. It really does mean so much to me. A few not so pleasant things have been happening with negative words from others seemingly bombarding me.

I need to turn those voices off and listen for the helpful, healing and positive words of others, from myself and from God as well.

Yes Shelley, I do talk to God and write down stuff addressed to Him as well. Thanks for the reminder from both you and DB. It can be hard to mention God in a public place, we all have our own beliefs, or none at all and that is okay too.

I'm going to print out some of the kind words written to me here and read them when I am feeling down.

Thanks for the reminder Grandy that these thoughts are not going to last forever.

I need to remind myself that I can not change events of the recent past, I can change how I allow myself to think about them and how those thoughts make me act and react.

Today I will be busy. I am going to try to take myself for a walk in a park, go to the writing group, see the physio, have coffee with friends then go to the lady Dr about some secret women's business.

At home I may sit in the garden with a cup of tea, write up all the nice happenings from the day in my journal, then cook us a healthy dinner.

I need to deal with the thoughts that are going around in my head so will write those down soon until there is nothing more to write.

I am reading a book on writing for therapy and it says to include all your thoughts, feelings and emotions about the event so you get as much out of your head as possible.

My goodness, our minds can take us on quite a journey!

Dear precious ladies, once again I thank you. I also hope you are doing okay within yourselves!

Hugs to you all from Dools

[demonblaster]

Thanks Doolsy I hope todays made things a tad easier. Sadly it doesn't just disappear overnight usually but good sleeps certainly help which I guess you're not getting with your mind in turmoil heart partying and body following trend.

I'm annoyed I started a post in notes to you this morning, needed to sleep, do you think I can find it grr

Keeping an eye on you Mrs lovely. Hope I can remember what I wrote 🙄 and that you managed the goods list from people here to back yourself.

Remember Doolsy not to automatically believe and accept negative thoughts and be very careful acknowledging how you feel without mindfulness because it avalanches.

That reminded me. It's a mindful excercise, being aware.

By creating a new habit counteracting our negative thoughts might strengthen our memory muscle ☺too.

Whats helping me Doolsy and has helped get out of stronghold thoughts (the worst and lowest point) is knowing it's our own thoughts and habit.

What hurts is our emotional reactions. If we habit being aware of our thinking it'll be easier. So everytime we feel bad be alert to following feelings

Alone a thought can't hurt us.. Until we react with negative emotional thought.

When we habit being aware of our thinking we gain control because we have time to guide our next thought and how we'll react to it.

If we think we can't ... pathways close

If we believe we can ... they open which helps open a mind depression closes

If anyone can win over this pain Doolsy its you. True we cant change the past but we can how we choose to deal with it. Same with all thoughts.

Hold in lovely lady 🤗⚘🌱new beginnings.

Sleep well 😴 sending some sleep fairies, they scatter perfumed flower petals in your dreams that create comfort and peace 🕊

[Doolhof]

Hi DB and All,

Thanks DB for sharing so much wisdom and kind words. Sometimes it is not easy putting all that stuff into practise, I know how much it helps and how beneficial it is!

I'm trying to pull myself together as next week my Mum is having an operation and I am looking after Mum and Dad while we all stay in a cabin in a caravan park close to the hospital Mum will be attending. My parents live a 4 hour trip from the hospital and we live about 2 hours away.

The caravan park will mean easier access for the pre op appointments then the day of the operation the next day and what ever happens after that. The outcome is unknown until the Drs actually see what they are up against.

I will not have access to the Beyond Blue Forum until I return again, when ever that is. I leave home early Monday.

So I need to work on getting my act together so I can assist my parents!

I have little planned for the weekend so will have time to organise my packing, watering and what ever else needs doing before I leave.

It could be an interesting week!

Hope you are doing okay DB.

Cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Managed to get through the day relatively unscathed which is good.

Trying to keep body and mind occupied and not allow too much room for ruminating over negative thoughts and tried to deal with flash backs before they became huge issues.

We have a massive dust storm outside! The sky is brownish red and everything is filthy. Visibility in a car would be low and dangerous.

Had to shake the dirt out of the dry washing before I brought it in! White clothes were covered in brown!

Poor farmers!

Phoned my parents and sorted a few things for next week.

Wish my mind would give me a break for a while! Cheers from Dools

[demonblaster]

Dear Doolsy and hi all ☺

Sounds really good that you're starting to get on top lovey.

What a shame you wont have the net, I think I read somewhere you dont get on well? It's hard when we're struggling and committed to things. I really hope it goes smoothly for you Doolsy.

Yikes What a mess the dust storm oh and shaking it all out of clean clothes dagh.

I've been thinking a lot about you. I wonder in the absense of the net it may help to jot down your feelings.

Do you like reading Doolsy.

Sounds good your writing class. Admirable how you keep busy and good variety.

I wish it was easier for you too. You tell it what you want to think about huns

Your garden flowers people you like love colour fave music any thing that gives you a happy fave food birdies nature walking. Visualise taste smell and feel dear Doolsy. Cya later darl and all

🤗🕊⚘🌱🌴🌿