Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D 😊

It is great that hubby was receptive to seeing the GP and getting a referal! I really hope he goes through with it for you.

I like the idea of you being able to stay put... You do seem to love your garden and it's not all about what hubby needs! You're important too.

Do the dogs bother you? Or just hubby? Is knocking on the neighbour's door with a lead in hand and option. Your dogs are driving me nuts. Can I take them for a walk?

I was 8 days overdue with bub 2 and my neighbours started doing burnouts in their backyard (yep utterly stupid!). I walked over and knocked. There was a party of 20 blokes drinking. They all turned stunned as the angry pregnant lady yelled... "There is smoke everywhere and it is all through my house and I feel sick. Can you go out bush to do this?". The car stopped. Even drunk they looked sheepish. Next day the neighbour came to see if I was ok. The point... He didn't consider anyone else. It wasn't until I was right there asking for them to stop that they even considered others.

Do you think if you are right there saying the "barking is causing me harm can I walk the dog" they will ignore you or take you seriously?

Have a wonderful day in your garden Mrs D. I hope the snakes keep away!

❤ Nat

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for your message. It will be interesting to see if my husband goes through with his appointments and if he is diagnosed with anything. Hopefully if he is, than we can work together to make life as good as it can be for us both.

When we know what we are up against, it can be easier to deal with the issue if there indeed is one.

As far as the house and garden go, I think I blew up the ride on mower this morning, at least the bit that actually does the mowing. It worked for a while then stopped cutting the grass. Ooops! Decided I would pull some weeds instead. Not a snake in sight thankfully.

I've had lunch with a girlfriend and a great chat about all kinds of things. As it is over 30 degrees outside now, it is far too hot to consider any more gardening.

I can't control what is happening here right now, so guess the easie4st thing would be to not worry about it! Easier said than done.

Hope you are okay Elizabeth, cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Nat,

Good idea. Rock up at the door with a dog lead. Maybe I will try that. The funny thing is, I have no idea how to reach their front door! Must be there somewhere I guess. I might have to wrangle with the dog to reach a door, any door.

Like I mentioned to Elizabeth, no snakes today thankfully.

Managed to pull up quite a few weeds and have possibly broken the ride on mower! Maybe I just need to stay off that thing, we don't get along with each other very well. Ha. Ha.

Hope you are doing okay. Cheers from Dools

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D.

wow what breakthrough getting hubby to make an appointment. During my recent meltdown with my hubby I suggested he needed to get help and see someone. He looked at me aghast and said, " are you crazy ? I don't need to talk to any head doctor" the irony was totally lost on him

Hope he keeps appointments and you get to work on things.

Cheers

Stressless

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

I know what you mean regarding your husband. We have been watching old episodes of Doc Martin. My husband isn't as grumpy as Doc Martin, but the characteristics are so like my husbands and he just can't see it.

Last nights show had Louisa walking out on the Doc as she was so frustrated by him. My husband said "that guy needs to see a Doc himself. I had to bite my tongue so I didn't tell my husband that is how I feel about him so often.

Time will tell as to what happens with the appointments.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[boatee]

hi Mrs D,new to these forums,but read your first post,& it mirrors exactly how i'm feeling & what i'm going through at present,4 times in mental wards in 12mths[2 in past 5 weeks],got similar treatment to yours,but have had mental health staff treated me like i was scum,last visit meds changed & upped in dosage,plus last 4-5mths have been so bad i wanted to end it all,& presented to hospital at least 12 times asking for help,got all the excuses why i wouldn't be admitted.have been diagnosed with severe anxiety & depression,but got told that because i've lost my self confidence,i've now got hypochondria as well,seeing psychologist & going to work on ways to get confidence back so i can move forward,but very hard when keep getting those unhelpful thoughts,do meditation as much as i can but recently it only works for short time,it's as if my mind doesn't want me to get better,just want to go forward,not keep going backwards as i have recently,& i know there are no easy fixes,but this is making me feel hopeless & worthless,had enough,all help greatly appreciated,boatee

[Moonstruck]

Oh Mrs D....now you'll have me thinking of you each time I watch Doc Martin!!

I like Mrs Tichell...the chemist..do they ever say why she wears that collar around her neck??

[Doolhof]

Hi boatee,

I'm really sorry to read you are in such a tough place and have tried so desperately to receive the help and attention you need.

Our minds can be powerful things, for happiness, hope, acceptance as well as the darker side of mental health issues. The thing for me is to keep going even when I have no idea why I keep going.

Okay, so how can you find some of your self confidence? Are there things that you do enjoy doing? Even if it is something really small. I try to solve a Sudoku Puzzle each morning while I have breakfast. If I can't work it out, then I turn to the solution page in the back of the book and write the numbers for the top line of the puzzle I am working on.

Am I cheating? Cheating whom? My mind is still working. I still have the rest of the puzzle to sort out.

Life can be like that, sometimes we need to find the easiest solution, a short cut, a quick fix for now. When we have the strength, determination, the right mind set, than we can work on the whole puzzle of life.

For me, one step at a time works. Even sitting still can be beneficial. Listen to your mind and try to find the good stuff that is in there.

Just a note, sometimes I forget where I have been recently posting, so hopefully yourself and others don't think they are being neglected if a response is not received. I for on just forget where I have been on the forums!

Think of one small thing that will help to make you feel a little more hopeful about cracking this illness boatee. For me this morning it was going for a walk. For you it may be something totally different.

Rest a while if you need to, rest is good, then try and think of something useful and purposeful you can do, like I said, even something small. It might be washing the dishes, picking a flower from the garden, reading a book, looking at pictures of your favourite animals doing cute things on the computer.

One thing. One step. One action. One little bit of hope!

Cheers to you from Mrs. D.

[Doolhof]

Hi Moon, Just found your post here.

Doc Martin is sometimes very funny, sometimes a little daunting as I see so much of his character in my husband as I mentioned. Especially the bit about saying stuff without thinking! My goodness. That can be interesting. Ha. Ha.

I do recall seeing an episode where Doc Martin asked her about her neck. It had been an old injury I think. She decided to brave it and take the brace off as it had become like a crutch to her. She then had a fall in the chemist and damaged discs in her neck! The neck brace has been there ever since.

The buildings and countryside in that series is gorgeous. A girlfriend has a daughter in England at present living very near to the town of Truro that is mentioned often in the show.

Hope you are doing okay Moon, cheers from Mrs. D.

[Doolhof]

Good morning Everyone,

This morning I have decided to consider my unhelpful thoughts, change them into something more acceptable to me and get on with my day.

-Yes, I didn't sleep so well last night, that is okay, I can sleep tonight. No need to hassle over that one.

-I'm feeling very low in energy and feel like I am lacking motivation. Right, I will go and shower, wash my hair, find something suitable to wear for the Remembrance Day memorial later on and organise breakfast under the patio.

-To stop my procrastination I will do a Sudoku Puzzle then make a list of things I would like to achieve today including sorting out medical notes, picking flowers for the kitchen table, filling the bird baths, reading and what ever else comes to mind.

-I can tick off my list if I feel that will help me, and if I don't achieve it all today, there is always tomorrow.

Right, time for some Positive, Helpful, Acknowledging, Motivational Activity!

Hope you all manage to find some Get Up and Go today!

Cheers all form Dools