Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless, Shell and All,

My husband has already had a couple of real estate guys in to value the place and suggest what needs doing, hence all the gardening trying to get the weeds under control. I go out and weed, the dog barks, my husband closes down and looks like a thundercloud all day and I become stressed, angry and frustrated.

It doesn't have to be this way. I have offered to have their dog in our garden while I am weeding, to take her for walks and play with her.

The house my husband is looking for is similar to looking for a needle in a haystack. He wants a place totally isolated from anyone else where he will not have any chance of hearing a dog barking.

It needs to have a large shed for all his stuff. He doesn't want a lot of land to care for. It has to be close enough to his work places as he works mornings at one job and evenings at the other.

My husband has been looking for the right house for months.

You are so right Stressless, Limbo Land is doing my head in so I need to take control of that somehow!

Cheers all from Dools

[james1]

Hello Mrs Dools,

It's funny reading about your 3 acres of weeding.

I have a 4m x 4m garden and I complain about having to keep my lawn looking okay.

Sorry it's been so stressful. It sucks when people shut down on us like that. It can be very rejecting. Hopefully it'll get sorted sooner rather than later.

James

[Guest_3712]

Hey Mrs D,

I hear you. My hubby and son in law have spent months looking for the ' perfect house'- try satisfying 4 peoples needs and wants.

If we go acres- ( SIL ) house usually crap and needs work = $$$ Go nice house ready to move in = no land and God forbid - surburbia ! ( daughter)

Hubby and I fairly easy to please but draw the line at living in a caravan on land, converted garage / shed / tent -

Grandson and future granddaughter need back yard as does my little dog. Close to amenities but not too close , north facing ( me ) pool ( me) view ( all of us )

So if anyone has seen this property please let me know !

[Doolhof]

Hi James,

Great of you to drop in. Today has been an amazing day of about 32 degrees here, when recently the "high" for the past month has been about 15 degrees.

Great day for washing, cleaning the patio and then finishing a book this afternoon. The darn dog has been barking too much for me even to consider some weeding today. Maybe I could have done some while my husband had the T.V. blasting in the lounge room. I might try to spend some time in the garden tomorrow.

The garden does look lovely with everything flower5ing this time of year. The iris are starting to flower, the natives are in bloom and even the soursobs actually look very pretty where I have yet to weed them.

A 4m by 4 m lawned area sounds wonderful. Ha. Ha. At least we have a ride on mower. The darn machine conks out on me every time I use it though! I have to get my husband out of the house to restart it. Has been that way since we bought the thing. Seems to be a "Man Only" kind of machine.

Something will work out eventually!

Cheers from Mrs. D

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

Our home is 15 years old, only one room needs a coat of fresh paint, had some weird markings on it when we arrived.

There used to be an above ground pool until my husband decided to drain it as he wasn't using it. The area is completely fenced off, have a decking and even an outside shower area and a great spot for a Bali Hut.

We have 5 acres, plenty of room to run around in, have chooks, sheep or what ever.

The bakery in town is excellent, we have a service station, Post Office and a great take away. Only an hour's drive to the city on a good day and 15 minutes to a larger town with most services you might need.

From the bedroom window which faces North you can watch the various seasons happen in the paddock across the road. There are a few gumtrees about the place that add to the view.

One spot in the garden has a lovely view of paddocks and a small hill in the distance.

There is plenty of room for a hundred dogs to run around and be happy. There is even a dog shed specifically built for the last owners 4 dogs.

This is a perfect place for people who love dogs...the darn dog next door won't bother you at all!

I don't want to leave here at all, only thing is that dog next door is driving us both nuts and we just don't seem able to communicate with the dog's owners!

I could wear ear plugs outside, but that would block out all of the birds.

Maybe hypnotherapy might work! On me, my husband and the dog! Ha. Ha.

[blondguy]

Hello Mrs Dools

I just wanted to sat hello and wish you my best as well as being envious that you live on 5 acres as well as living in a beautiful place. I wish!

I built here in the country in 1990 which is now suburbia but its been 27 years here for me.

Please ignore my Homer Simpson profile picture. Its only here for the weekend instead of the endangered bald headed eagle

My kindest as always

Paul

[Guest_3712]

Sold !

Where do I send the cheque?

[Doolhof]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for dropping by. I know what you mean about buying/building a place in the country only to have it engulfed by suburbia years later. When we built our last place, we were told there was to be no further developments as the land opposite was for cropping/farming. Now there are hundreds and thousands of homes there.

Mental Health issues are a pest! If it wasn't for our various issues, I am sure we could live here forever. Dog's barking really stress my husband out, so me it seems to be any noise, even the cat meowing or the T.V. blaring when I am not actually watching it. Might talk to the psychologist about that one.

Think it has a lot to do with stress as well.

Really, we live in a beautiful place, at present neither of us can appreciate due to depression and stress! It sucks. That is life.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

Ha. Ha. Does sound like a great place when I read back what I have written! Like I mentioned to Paul, Mental Health issues for both of us are not helping to make this place feel as great as it is.

Various birds are chirping away outside, and I will be out there soon gardening. As we have had a couple of really warm days, I am hoping the snakes have not come out to sun themselves just yet! I don't mind the variety of lizards, just don't like sharing my garden with snakes when I am weeding.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

I feel so sorry and powerless reading your account of the move. I know you realize this but will say it out loud anyway

You are throwing away the baby with the bathwater.

Nowhere is going to be trouble free. I realy wish you could sort the dog. Have you told your neighbors specifically you have to move because of it? Been to the council with recordings? Talked to the SPCA?

I know I'm only putting up things you doubtless have considered. It's just I don't like to see a friend take a false step.

Croix