Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Doolhof]

Hi dear Croix and all,

Actually we only have about 3 acres of weeding to do. We have borrowed some sheep to help with the bottom part of the yard. I am tempted to let them loose on the house block! They might be too much of a temptation to the neighbours dogs though if I do that. One is a kelpie, another is a German Shepherd.

The sheep would probably eat everything, not just the weeds and grass. Apparently they don't like their grass too long either! They must be fussy eaters.

I'm trying hard not to let this cleaning up and moving business beat me. Might be a bit easier if we had some idea as to where we were heading next!

Being able to see my new psychologist more than once a month might be beneficial also. Good thing my GP is very understanding and is keeping a close eye on me at present with weekly appointments. Bless him.

The AFL pre finals are happening this weekend, so I am doing some crochet while I join my husband in the lounge room. The scarf I knitted and did not like is now being turned into crochet squares.

I'm sure a local farmer must have some kind of machinery that will clean up the whole garden in about an hour. Problem is, we do want some plants alive still to entice people to purchase the place.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D

Jyst wondering how u are going with house hunting and move ?

Im in last week of packing sorting and throwing before truck arrives next Monday

Excitef tired fed up sick with flu for 4th time but otherwise great

Last session with psych today for s while today - should be a doozy

Hope you are well

Stressless

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless and All,

Wishing you all the very best with your move. Sorry to read you have had the flu again, might be the stress of moving causing that. Hope the psych appointment went well.

My dear husband has not packed a single thing yet!

In the end that might be a good thing as it seems like the neighbours have decided to get rid of their barking dog. I have mixed feelings about everything now.

I had tried to communicate with the neighbours and told them I would walk their dog and have her in our garden when I was gardening. They didn't want to communicate and now no longer have the dog.

Hopefully her sister has the dog now, or someone who will give it the love and attention it needs.

I am now in the quandary of deciding if I unpack everything I have packed or just leave it in boxes for a while!

I'm trying not to think about it all too much as it just makes my head hurt! Ha. Ha.

Cheers Shell and All

[Guest_1055]

Ah Good Morning Mrs D, Stressless and everyone else...

Gosh that would hurt your head thinking about all that... one wouldn't know if they are coming or going. And your case staying and going. I think if I was in your shoes, I would leave the packed boxes for a bit.

And maybe the neighbours really caught on to the reason you guys were moving..

May you have a really good day today Mrs D...

Hugs

Shell xx

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

Life sure does have some twists and turns! Have you sold your house yet or can you stay put?

I can't say I'm surprised about your husband's packing. I think I'm with Shell and would leave your boxes for now.

Not too much thinking sounds good:)

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

The blasted dog is back! So much for the neighbours getting rid of it. It was barking at us today as we put some stuff in the shed!

The black cloud has returned to envelop my husband. He retreated to the lounge room and turned the T.V. up loud.

There was a house he was interested in seeing on Sunday. When I mentioned it later on he said No.

We have not sold the house yet.

My goodness where will this story go next! I certainly have no idea at all.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Mrs D,

It sounds like you are just getting fed up with this whole thing. And you are in need of a nice quite rest in your very soul or something. Wish I had some advice for you, but I do not. But I am definitely hearing you.

Shell xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Shell and All,

Guess I'm getting a little frustrated, stressed and tired not knowing what is actually happening. One day at a time right!

Last night I joined my fellow CFS mates at training, I hung around until quite late which I don't usually do, so it was great to chat and laugh.

Today I will be away from the house all day as I will be helping out in the Op Shop. The ladies there are always good for a chat and a laugh, as are some of the customers. Then I have a Drs. appointment at 5.00 p.m. If the weather is still nice I will go for a walk in-between the Op Shop and my appointment. That will be nice.

A friend says he has boxes and newspaper if we need it later.

The garden is getting a good clean up anyway and the house is looking clean and tidy. The patio will be cleaned up on the weekend and the windows washed. A bit of spring cleaning is a good thing.

Just need to work on some anti-stress measures!

Cheers and thanks.

[Guest_1055]

Morning Mrs D and good morning to anyone else perhaps reading.

You know that sounds like a super way to look at it, that being see it as spring cleaning.

And I agree live one day at a time or even one hour at a time sometimes.

Glad you were able to have a bit of a laugh too, we really are in need of that as well. A refreshing sort of a feeling amongst all the struggles.

Shell xx

[Guest_3712]

Hey Mrs D, with a big wave to Shelley anne

How incredibly frustrating for you. Do you want to move ? Given the dog is back and nothing looks like changing. Why don't you get a real estate agent out to give you a valuation, and to let you know if there is anything you need to fix/ do to help with sale. Wont cost anything and then you'll know what to expect.

Then if you are still considering it start looking around for other places. I spent ages online and also papers etc looking at whats out there - passes the time and good to focus on something even if it doesn't pan out.

I think you need to get a decision one way or the other- limbo land is not a good place to live.

Great to clean up and throw away stuff though I agree- cant believe how much 'stuff' I had accumulated again !

Good luck and take care

Stressles