Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[velvetfaerie]

I am having silly unhelpful thoughts at the moment, but reading these stories made me smile so thank your so much Dools, Quercus, Paul.

Where is this shed Dools? 😄

I better do the work thing....

V.

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

I'm sorry to hear about your nightmare week but am glad you're still here. Is there anything we can do to help and support you?

Ah the joys of dealing with a hoarder 😊 My husband has a tendency to find things that 'may come in handy' too. To his credit they usually do though I must admit. Luckily he is organised and can't stand mess. If you told your husband the shed is his job to sort would he actually do it? I suppose you could always suggest burning it down as an option if he can't be bothered hehe.

When you move are you going further away or closer to a town? Please take care of yourself Mrs D.

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

Unfortunately my husband is starting to hate this place immensely, and just wants to get out, only problem is at present we have no where to go and no money to get there until we sell this place.

I'm thinking my husband doesn't want to go to the shed as it is closer to where the barking dog is. Next time I will take out a radio. Shame I hadn't thought of that before.

We are bouncing off each other with our depression, I have increased my drinking of alcoholic mind deadeners and popping pills. Not a good way to live at all.

I've been challenging my negative thoughts and trying to come up with some positive ideas. I have suggested we invite some friends over next weekend, have to check the footy schedule first though, the Adelaide Crows are playing well at present.

I could drag hubby out one day for a walk in a park and a picnic lunch.

I try to send him off to work with a hug and a smile and greet him when he comes home the same way.

Oh dear, this illness really can be horrid, draining, consuming and hard to kick! It sucks.

I have a dear friend who is telling me to just think happy thoughts, look for the positives and get on with it. That does help, but it is hard some days.

Hopefully my car will be fixed by the end of the day so I can attend the craft group tomorrow and get away from here for a while. As we have no public transport out this way, with only one car we are a bit limited as to where we can go.

Right then. It is time to get this day underway and to try to make it a bit better than yesterday.

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

Just dropping in to check you're ok? Any progress on selling?

I'm sorry to hear you're coping with meds and alcohol 😢. Did you manage to find a different method? Did you go for your picnic or have people over to watch the footy?

I wish I had some useful advice. When I'm a mess I like to get out in the garden but I suppose that's a bit of a waste to go plant things if you're selling. Did you end up setting the shed on fire or go with the radio instead?

Am thinking of you and I hope you're ok. Please write and vent if that helps you.

[Doolhof]

Hi Quercus,

Life is rather up and down at present! The real estate guy is coming around tomorrow afternoon for another chat. He is keen to sell this place, only we don't have anywhere to go right now!

We did look at a place yesterday out the back of Woop Woop along dirt roads. We had to take a different route at one stage as we were almost bogged. The car just started to sink like it was quick sand!

My husband wants a house in the middle of no where so it is totally impossible to hear any dogs barking.

As we are down to one car at present and have no idea when mine will be fixed, my husband dropped me at a fast food place at 7.00 a.m. this morning. I had coffee read a book, then walked to the Op Shop. After that I walked in the rain tot he Employment office for my appointment, than my husband had to come and pick me up again.

Yesterday was a horrible emotionally depressing day for me so it was lovely to get out today.

I have been getting out in the garden to do some weeding between the rain. At long last the plants are all starting to look lovely after 4 years of planting stuff, and now we are moving!

My husband has given up on the shed as a bad joke, so guess we either leave stuff behind, blow it up, or I pack it.

I'm seeing my Dr next week so will see if increasing the dose of the medication might help get me through this period of time.

Time will tell where we end up! Thanks for caring!

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

I keep wondering do you even want to leave? Why is it all about what hubby wants and what you need doesn't matter? I'm sure I've probably just missed all your back story somewhere to understand properly.

I suppose I wonder why you stay with him at all but that is none of my business, I apologise. It's sad to see you so lost and upset especially seeing as when he went overseas you were happy.

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D

I've been reading what you have said about this move, which sounds a real waste of everything. I'm probably being most unrealistic but what happens if you dig your heels in?

I know it is easy for me to ask, I'm not connected and don't have to live with the result. I debated if I should even ask, but if it inspired you to hang on for something reasonable rather than isolated and with no access that would be a plus. I have a feeling if it was not dogs that was wrong it might be something else anyway.

You have worked out a support system where you are. It's probably not a good way to refer to it. You do community work, op-shop, fire brigade plus your garden and so on, and the by-product is self-support and improved feelings.

I'd be the first to admit I don't understand things properly.

Croix

[Guest_1055]

I am getting lovingly concerned for you too Mrs D. That if and when you move out to the middle of no where that you will be too isolated. Is there no compromise between the two of you??

Then another part of me wonders if it would be a good thing. A new start, new surroundings, maybe a new garden.

Anyway I am thinking of you and wanted you to know that.

Shell xx

[Elizabeth CP]

I don't know what to say but wanted you to know I care. I can't even imagine coping with what you are going through. Is there anyone you can ring for advice. I know you missed your GP appointment due to lack of car but it seems that you need some support to help you work out how to deal with your situation rather than having no option other than following everything your husband expects.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D.

As you may know I am also moving, in fact we exchanged contracts today. We also have no house to move into, but we are prepared to rent a while if we have to. Something Croix said stood out- that if it wasn't about the dogs barking it would be something el

Saw my psych today and although he supports me he said , " changing the geographical part of your life, doesn't necessarily change or solve your problems "

Oh crap ! thanks doc- see more on my thread- To tell or not to tell.

Food for thought Mrs D- Is the move in your best interests

Stressless