Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Doolhof]

My Serenity Shack

On Sunday my sister came to be with me as my husband went out to a monthly group he attends. He was very concerned about my welfare, which I appreciated.

I had told my sister I was doing some gardening, so she brought along some appropriate clothing.

In the back yard we have a wind shelter that is two sided and made from railway sleepers and is about 2 metres high. My husband had helped me move a small table and two chairs there a couple of weeks ago. My sister helped me construct a framework so it is more a box shape now.

The other two walls spaces are open, I had tried some lattice as a wind break but felt too shut in so moved that. We have some struts going over the top ready for some shade cloth my sister is going to give me from their place. The wood we had lying around already from an old patio that was here when we arrived.

I have now moved some pot plants to this area, added some tree stumps and branches for character and even put in a roost for the chook if she so desires.

Close by is a little wooden bridge covered in wisteria and some other kind of vine. That had totally overgrown into a mass of jungle like growth. I have managed to find the bridge again thanks to the help of a hedge trimmer, some other cutting devices and sheer determination to get the job done.

My back is complaining now so I have to ease off the building and garden management for a while!

So now I have my serenity shack. It is a peaceful place. It has also helped me feel closer to my sister as we worked on it together. Nothing is straight, everything has it's own angle, nothing is square, none of that matters.

It does have just a dirt floor. It would be nice to have it paved one day.

I've just had a thought. I might be able to get some old lino from somewhere. That would work very well. I will have to ask around and see where I could get some from.

It is rather windy today so I will need to tie down my umbrella if I put it up!

Wishing you all a peaceful day without to many negative thoughts. If you do want to share stuff that is hassling you, this is as good as any place to share them!

Cheers all from Mrs Dools

[geoff]

dear Mrs. Dools, Paul is absolutely correct, we need to take medication to help get us over this hump, and yes, without taking this particular medication prescribed to us by our doctor or believing that you can overcome any type of depression by yourself, is only a wish that will never come true, even though you believe that you have is only a foregone conclusion that will never come to fruition.
If I wasn't taking any medication then I'm not sure where I would be, but positive that I wouldn't be responding to you. Geoff. x

[Doolhof]

Hi Geoff,

Bless you dear friend. My Dr. has given me some new anti depressants to take, I realise they may take some time to kick in and have the desired effect. He has also given me extra pills to take on the side when the going gets really rough.

Part of me is a little pig headed and wants to try to work hard on not needing the extra pills. I can see though like you and Paul have so wisely stated, this is not always possible. The Dr. has prescribed these extra pills for a purpose. I need to stop fighting, to rest and allow my mind to have some peace.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Guest_322]

Hi Mrs. D,

I'm glad to hear that you were able to spend some more time in your sanctuary (aka your garden) yesterday. These safe havens can be a great source of reprieve during difficult times. Also, I'm glad your dr has been taking good care of you on the meds front.

I love how you have a serenity shack, and I love how working on it brought you and your sister closer together. I kind of like how things sound a little asymmetrical and rustic in you serenity shack. Rustic is kind of trendy these days. Shabby chic anyone 😉?

Yeah, I think everyone who responded has been touched by you in some way, and we all wanted to reach out- in slightly or very different ways- to basically say, "you're not alone in this."

Dottie x

[Doolhof]

Hi Dottie,

Thank you so much. I have just written a message to "Miss" in the suicide section who is doing it really tough. I totally understand how she feels. I am hopi9ng she is still reading the messages being sent to her.

While responding to her it also made me realise how I did not see how great the benefit was for me to have those two weeks in hospital. I was wanting a fix for my horrendous depression and suicidal thoughts, they were offering me a safe place, a place to relax, to be fed and cared for.

I didn't get that at the time. I wanted my mental health issues mended and fixed. I realise now that can not happen in two weeks! People's comments here have also made me realise the need to rest more, to allow the body to and mind to heal.

Once again I am so thankful I "found" this forum a few years ago. It is certainly a very important and beneficial service/place for people to connect and care for each other.

Yes, my Serenity Shack is very rustic and Shabby, I love it!

Cheers to you, from Mrs. Dools

[Guest_322]

Hi Mrs. D,

I'm glad not only were you able to support "Miss" but that it also helped you find some clarity about your own situation.

[Guest_322]

Hi again Mrs. D,

Oops...hit post before I finished writing.

Take 2:

As I was saying, I'm glad not only were you able to support "Miss" but that it also helped you find some clarity about your own situation.

It's good to hear that, upon reflection, you realised there was reprieve and care at the hospital- a place to keep you safe when you needed it most.

Yes, see, you're very trendy with your shabby chic shack 😉

Dottie x

[Moonstruck]

Good morning all...I don't know if this is any help with "unhelpful thoughts" but I have found it can bring me a bit of "relief" when the thoughts are so terrible that I Have to Do something to keep myself going.

Was reading that it is practically impossible to go directly from a Terrible Thought to a Happy Helpful Thought straight away, particularly if the ghastly thoughts have been there for a long time.

It can be possible, however, to find even a slight feeling of "relief". If you can get a pen and paper, write down the Unhelpful Thought and how it makes you "feel". then try for a thought that give you even the slightest feeling of "relief".

then you may be able to think of another one that gives you a bit of "relief" from the 2nd thought , and so on...moving gradually up the scale into more and more "relief".

In writing them down it makes it clearer to me...how the "thoughts' are making me "feel" and I try and reach for a better one even if its only the slightest tiny bit better. Take care Mrs D.....we are all on your side.

[Doolhof]

Hi Dottie,

It is blowing a gale here so I will not be heading out to my shabby shack. With only two walls and a few gaps in those, it is not very wind proof!

This morning I did hand saw up some branches though ready to make a hanging, this one will be using macramé and bits of wood about 10 to 15 c.m. long to create a horizontal ladder like effect. Next I will make a hanging one with vertical sticks, I will ask my husband to help me drill holes in the top of those so I can put string or wire through them.

Speaking of shabby, my husband brought in the most shabby, happy pants and miss matched tops you can imagine for me to wear in hospital! At least they were comfortable, easy to wash out and dry in a day or two, and made my girlfriends laugh hysterically when they saw my clothes combinations. It was good to have a laugh!

My room looked like a laundry as I only had 3 tops and 3 pairs of happy pants.

After a bit of house work I hope to be creative and make the hanging!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Moonstruck,

Thanks for this. I was trying to do some of this in my really depressed sate and was getting stuck on what are thoughts, feelings and beliefs. I guess it does not matter to get them in the right order as long as by doing the writing and the thinking you gain a greater idea of what the problem is and how to make it better. Even if it is just step by step.

When my mind was just so overcome with depression, I found it difficult to even grasp the concept of this kind of strategies. Now I am a bit more settled it will be well worth trying again.

My husband has gone off to the cricket so will not be back until about midnight. I started to have a bit of a panic attack after he left, so have taking a calming pill so this does not escalate. I have lunch on the bench ready for me to prepare and some fruit cut up as well so I have something quite healthy.

I will try to get my pen and book out later in the afternoon to help figure out some helpful thoughts and decisions.

Thanks Moon for the reminder of using techniques to help ourselves.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools