BPD

[GuestYD]

Hi all

i have BPD. I have been to the emergency department multiple times due to suicidal thinking when 2 hours before I was happy. I can go from excited to depressed in an instant.

i used to self harm but I've stopped that. I am fixated by the idea of suicide even though I've got no intent. I can be impulsive.

I idealise certain people in my life, including my mental health team.

I fear that my Dr will abandon me.

i experienced brief psychosis when I was stressed and the object wasn't really there

[Guest_5809]

My worries have been raised several times. I ended up making a pack with myself to work on my issues when the kids got to adults. It's just not working. My walls are crumbling in rapidly. I dont expect anyone to fix the situation. It's really hppeless. I have accepted that now. It's trying to accept being an isolated soul parent that's hard. I don't have the back ip when things turn crappy.

Sorry for the doom and gloom I am really over it.

[GuestYD]

Hi James

The thread has been moved to 'long term support over the journey'! I had a tiny freakout worrying that all the stuff we have written was gone when I couldn't find it under its normal heading.

In terms of dating, I decided I'm not up to it because I ended up self-harming on the weekend and was feeling really overwhelmed and vulnerable about other matters the day afterwards. I sort of feel if that's how I react to things, then a relationship is going to make me really unsettled and unstable. So just for now I'll take a step back.

I hear what you say about gaining a best friend - would be awesome. It seems really hard to find someone who fits the best friend and relationship material classes. I think it's so easy to try and change to fit in with them. Will see what happens. I haven't heard back from the girl since I messaged her, so I think it is a dead end. But I sort of feel relieved.

Anyway off to play Civs 🙂

LC

[james1]

Hey it's okay. That's why we're here.

So what've your doctors said in the past and are you still seeing them?

It's hard being a sole parent. Do you mind if I ask how old your kids are?

James

[GuestYD]

Hi Dottibluebell

It sounds like you're in a tough situation and you are managing the best you can while looking after your children. That's really commendable. I really admire your resilience.

As this thread is only viewed by a small group of people, it might be worth making a separate thread so that you can get lots more responses and you might find others who have gone through the same things as you. You are of course welcome to post here too 🙂

I also am interested to know whether you are still obtaining professional support that you can reach out to. An option you could explore is if you have private health insurance is to also have a community outreach worker come visit you once a week. They are an option for when you need some additional support but want to stay out of hospital.

LC

[james1]

Hey LC, small question I hope you don't mind (but no worries if you do): do you keep in contact with your exes and do you want to?

I really want to and I think it's just because I want to stay friends, but I could just be tricking myself. Trouble is they don't want to keep in contact with me, haha.

And if you don't, what's your reason for not wanting to?

James

[GuestYD]

Hi James

I am good friends with someone I dated and see for coffee every so often and another I actively avoid whenever I see them.

I think it depends on the circumstances! I know that isn't particularly helpful.

LC

[GuestYD]

Hi James

I'm in tears because my psychologist said she didn't think I was depressed at the moment (counterintuitive I know). I'm also feeling really happy with her and aware how far I've come since I started seeing her. She has made a huge difference to my life. Its a bit overwhelming!

LC

[james1]

Hey LC,

That's wonderful 🙂 I know you said you really like this psych too and she seems so thoughtful especially with the doggy.

I'm super happy for you! I'm going to a meet up and we're making origami today. it should be fun.

James

[GuestYD]

Hi James

Thanks - you're a really good help too. I really like this forum.

Sounds pretty fun! I have joined a few meet ups, but haven't gone to one yet. How was it?

The thing that I don't want to say here went well. So that's put me at ease a bit. It tested me but I got through it 🙂

I just deleted Tinder and Her because I need a bit of a break from it. I feel like it's the right call. I just need to work on other things first.

LC

[james1]

Hey LC,

It was awesome! I'd definitely recommend checking out some meet ups for your hobbies. It's fun to meet like minded people even if you don't necessarily end up as friends. Just a nice way to do your hobbies while socialising as well. We were making all these different things out of origami and helping each other out, so it was a real team effort. We made a two piece japanese kimono type thing, some flowers and some animals. 🙂 The next one is a board games one, but I've also got a rock climbing one this arvo. That would make it 3 this week, haha. I've done so much socialising.

I'm happy about how That Which Must Not Be Named went 😉

Ah yeah...I was about to delete and then I started talking to someone and I didn't delete in the end 😕 Set me up for even more disappointment, haha, but I can't seem to bring myself to just stop. I was reading about what they unofficially call a "Favourite Person" in online BPD circles. Have you heard of it? I think I'm definitely just running around frantically looking for a new Favourite Person right now!

So what kind of hobbies do you enjoy? And would you want to join a meet up for that?

James