Hey LC,
Oh that's a real bummer. And I know exactly what you mean by getting obsessed and becoming too intense. I think I mentioned somewhere else that my BPD has really begun flaring up again because of the dating. A friend suggested I try dating multiple people as a way to show myself that there's no need to get obsessed with the one person. Can you imagine that? Hahaha. I don't think she quite understands that I'll then become obsessed with two people and hate myself for it. Wouldn't that be horrible? Sorry, I didn't mean to turn that into being about me. My point is that I know what you mean 😞 I forgot - do you have a GP or someone you can talk about it to? I'm basically setting ground rules with my psychologist on my dating and I show her the texts. I find it helps.
I know you're feeling super bummed out right now, but I think it was a good thing that you tried. When you feel ready again, you can always give someone else a go. Knowing how we are, there's never a shortage of people for us to latch onto, hahaha. I say that jokingly of course...got to set those boundaries for ourselves. If my current dating person goes south, I'll refer you over 😛 She's bisexual!
Oh my gosh, what you said here is so true! "I tend to forget that they are just human and I don't have to always agree with what they say." I feel like I have to be and do what my psychologist says because if I don't, then they'll stop liking me. And the worst bit, and I hope you don't do this as well, is I mould my feelings to suit what I think will make my psychologist like me more. Whether it's being more sad or more upbeat. How silly is that? I'm certain I'm trying to get better so my psychologist doesn't feel like I failed, or that she failed. Do you do that with friends?
Ah, I hate the gunpowder stage. In Civ4 at least, the strategy for me was to go straight to cannons because they literally blew the past siege weapons out of the water. But then I'd cripple my economy and I'd give up, lol. Or there'd be a mega super alliance somewhere and I'd be left sitting third with the alliance sitting above me.
How's your week looking? Your exams are coming up soon right? I dont' know how old you are, but there's the Friend's Cafe which has a few uni students in there if you ever just feel like hvaing a chat.
James
