Battling the booze
When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do.
That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.
On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.
One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.
I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.
I'm 24 years old and feel as if I have wasted a good 4 years of my twenties with drinking. When I look in the mirror, I don't like who I see, so I don't look. I think my excessive drinking stemmed from the fact that I am not comfortable with myself and who I am, I don't like who I am as a person so drinking is an easy way of escapism. It doesn't make me sad, or emotional, it just makes me happy and feel "ok". So I chase that feeling.
This isn't the first time I have tried to quit but it's the first time I have felt most serious about it. I feel as if I need to make some big changes in my life, this being one of them, to finally become okay with who I am as a person - or work out who I am as a person. I'm doing this relatively alone. I'm scared, as if I'm running out of time. I wish I never started drinking, ever, I wish I never wasted so much time and money on it.
Trying to have a positive outlook on life but it is difficult at the moment. 1 day sober.
Hi SS, just a friendly note to let you know that you are never alone here and there are many people that can be here for you too.
The forums don't have immediate chat available as a social website would have.
That doesn't mean that we can't be here for you as we are more than happy to do so.
If you could take the time ( when convenient for you ) to let us know how you are going then we will be able to provide you with the best support we can.
I hope you are doing OK.
It takes a lot of courage to post and I understand where you are coming from as it can be an awful place to be in.
We usually respond pretty quickly to new members and just letting you know that we are serious when we say (you are not alone).
If I may say good on you for having one day sober, as we all have to stop somewhere.
thanks for your reply, sometimes I’m just looking for someone to talk to.
to be totally honest with you I’m not doing great at all on the booze front. I was so good for about 3.5weeks them bam! I’m off the wagon 110% again. I get so angry at myself, I feel like I’m failing myself and I’m failing my family.
Hi SS, it's very difficult to stop straight away and not start again, so don't punish yourself, although a handful of people are able to do this, relapses will occur, this will only build up your resilience.
When you stop and then start again, you think about all the reasons why you should stop and these accumulate to form the strength you need.
3.5 weeks is a long time to abstain and it's how you think about the situation and not any negatives remarks others make, you will stop again when you're ready.
Hi all, I have very new to this experience so I hope you can all bare with me.
In a time of absolute loneliness, to a point where I could not sink any lower in my own shame, after reading many of the posts in this thread, it is encouraging to know that I am not alone and that there are others out there all pulling together to see each other through.
From being a closest drinker, to a one person social drinker (as I have always been alone in my life, I've never felt the need to go out in a group for a night out), I have managed to use any reason to justify my drinking at the time. Feeling lonely, workplace bullying, rejection and feelings of career and personal failure were always the excuses. All that happened, was a feeling of nothing but shame and guilt the day after. This then led to another excuse to have a drink to dull the pain and try a feel good about something about myself. It became a feeling that I was regularly chasing. It was a cycle that I could stop for different lengths of time,
But then something would happen and then I would 'relapse'. As you can guess, this would compound the feeling of failure.
This is something that I have been trying to hide.....unsuccessfully....for a few years. Unfortunately, it took an accident at home and a trip to the hospital to make me realize, something needs to change and change it will. On this new journey of recovery, unlike previous attempts, I can't do this one by myself.
I've already taken small steps on the road back to my true self. But reading the journeys of many people in this forum, its good to know I'm not alone, and there are people travelling similar journeys who are more than willing to help others achieve their daily goals and provide a sounding board of support.
Thank you to many for having the courage to provide some of your stories and insights