Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[Moonstruck]

Carol....

You will find our Geoff very supportive and understands what you are experiencing. He will be great to talk to here...so post on here whenever you feel like it. A lot of us have been just where you are now..........love you....Moon S.

[geoff]

Hi Carol D, and thanks Quirky and Moonstruckforyour lovely comments.

I just want to say Carol that it's terrific for you to bring this thread back, actually, I had forgotten all about it.

What I'm worried about is the breakup of your marriage and the affair which you have mentioned and there are always reasons why this has happened so there can't be any blame on why this happened, so please if you want to get back to us that would be great.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Carol_D]

Thank you Geoff, Moonstruck and Quirky Words

I don’t want to be taking time away from someone spiraling out of control so thank you for your time

I don’t want to give the impression that I am in a risky situation- I am now in a good relationship- though the years after my marriage breakdown until about three years ago is another story) and have a good job etc.

I never realised that others felt the same which is why I wanted to thank this forum I have actually never written in a forum like this and DEFINITELY not about my feelings of alcohol abuse - so thank you for this safe place

Geoff I am not sure I will ever get rid of the feelings of shame - I can’t blame just the alcohol but myself. I only hope my former husband finds someone who truly loves him

It’s funny isn’t it - one would think that you would learn quite quickly to regulate yourself once you recognise you have a problem- I didn’t until 6 months ago. After another very embarrassing situation- which of course caused the spiral - I finally had cause to look back on everything major in my life that caused me worry - I am sure it is no surprise to this forum that alcohol was involved- though Geoff - your words ring true - what is behind the drinking. I must confess though after so many years of dealing with depression- I am hesitant to go through counseling about alcohol

I am trying to moderate my drinking- I do find it hard if there is alcohol (wine) in the house and as mentioned I avoid situations where I might have a drink with friends which I know is not sustainable

But I am hopeful that if I continue to have at the forefront of my mind the potential embarrassment it may help. Reading this forum has been amazing and I think will also help and I wish I had come across it earlier.

Thank you again

[Nahmate830]

Hi Everyone,

I hope that you are all doing well.

Drinking has become a problem for me over the last 7 or 8 months, and i don't feel that i am at the point of alcoholism, but if it was a destination on a map its probably within walking distance.

The other day I was at a psychiatrists appointment and she asked me how much I drink, first appointment, and i was more than a little perturbed to realise that I has drank approximately 20 standard drinks the night before. and i didn't include the alcohol id had at a winery at lunch that day.

This was over a period of about 5 hours while watching tv with my partner and then next to her in bed while watching netflix.

talking with her it was clear that i needed to arrest this behaviour and make better choices.

The steps I've taken since then are to get some mid strength drinks and to decide before hand how much is reasonable to have and then to stick to that.

I bought a litre of Sailor Jerry a week ago and there is still around half of the bottle left. for me this is huge, generally that wouldn't have lasted the weekend, and generally I have a few beers(4 +) before I start free pouring.

most people would say "you've still had close to 40 standard drinks in the last week", I have had other non sailor products, but i feel happy that I've wanted more and stopped because I realised that i have had enough and also that I've chosen to have alcohol free nights.

I appreciate all of the stories that have been shared in here, wish you all well on your journeys and hope to become someone who can enjoy just one or two or none and not feel like i'm missing out on anything.

[quirkywords]

Carol,

Thanks for your reply.

Everyone is welcome here and no one takes time away from another.

I am glad you are in a supportive relationship and you have found writing and reading here helpful.

Feel free to post here whenever you want to.

Thanks again for your honesty as sharing your story will be helping others.

Quirky

Nahmate, welcome to this thread.

Thanks for sharing your story and letting us know insights into your behaviour.

This is a supportive place so feel free to post here and let us know how you are going if you want to.

Quirky

[geoff]

Hi Carol and Nahmate, I'm sorry for the late reply, but for many people, drinking alcohol is a way to relax, to either celebrate an occasion, an achievement or special event but it can also be used as a tool for something that didn't meet what we had expected and likely to conceal what we feel.

Shame is something we might feel when we believe others view us as lacking or not being able to full fill what we have promised to do or have done so in the past, but now unable to.

Alcohol counselling can be difficult but that depends on who you are talking to, I've had a couple of counsellors who have criticised and refused to look after me, unless I stopped drinking, now and for a long time I only socially drink.

Hope to hear back from you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Lee lee 73]

Hi everyone,

Just want to share my story with alcohol. ..

I had a problem with binge drinking since I was 17. I drank to hide stuff and because I became everyone's friend when drinking. I would always always drink until I passed out. I never knew when to stop.

Then, clinical depression kicked in and I drank almost every night. At 37yrs og age,I got caught driving under the influence. I'd ran out of alcohol this particular night and wanted more so I got in my car and drove to the bottle shop only to find they were closed. I was arrested and put in a paddy wagon. I lost my licence for 3 months but thankfully, not convicted.....thankfully I didn't hurt anyone. I lived on my own and no family connection so had to rely on public transport or walk. Although I was sensible since (not driving drunk), it wasn't enough to stop me.

Then one day, 5yrs ago at age 41, I had a light bulb moment - it suddenly ocurred to me, self medicating was making my depression so much worse. (I knew it was but. ..I don't know. .. I just kept drinking because it numbed the pain). So I stopped completely and haven't touched a drop since. I'm not game to because I still don't think I would know when to stop. I miss having a glass of wine at dinner but...I can't and I won't. And it has helped my mh by not drinking.

As you are probably aware this is just cutting a long story way short. I want to share and add my story, to let others know they are not alone when it comes to mh and alcohol.

I sincerely hope everyone is going ok. Hang in there...Thanks for reading.

Lee

[geoff]

Hi Lee and thanks for sharing your story and I know it's not easy to say what we have done, but I suppose that's one way of accepting our past.

I was no different in depression I lost my licence for 2 months and yes it was my fault and get no sympathy from anybody and nor should I, but people don't realise the effects of what depression does to us.

I fell through windows, glass tables and everyone also said that I must have been intoxicated (putting it politely), but it was because I was having seizures and was living by myself, so my medication had to be adjusted.

I only drink socially now whether that's good or whether it's bad!

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Lee lee 73]

Hi Geoff,

Thank you for sharing your story too. Much appreciated.

Take good care everyone.

Lee

[Rhes]

Hi Geoff, Lee, Moon and everyone else who’s new that I haven’t met yet 🙂 I know this thread’s been inactive for awhile but felt like revisiting it as it was pretty important to me back in 2016 when I first visited. Things are going well, I’ve stuck with sobriety for the last 3 years. I was explaining to someone a little while back about how I got sober. I talked about this thread and started crying. It was ok, just gratitude really. And the person I was talking to was ex-counsellor so I felt I could open up a bit more. But man, it was kinda like sudden realisation that at the time I gave up, absolutely all my friends and family drank. Not all of them to excess of course. And it’s not like I would’ve expected any of them to quit because I had. But just the fact that i didn’t know one non-drinker, or ex-drinker on which to model myself. I’ve since met people who’ve quit and we have great discussions. And I’m not bothered being around drinkers, it’s life. I was surprised at how the whole experience still affected me a few years later. It’s like the loneliness of it all doesn’t hit you in those first days, weeks, months because yr just hanging in there. It’s not till later reflection that you realise how hard it was. For me anyway. It’s not easy being an ex drinker in a drinking society and I’m really grateful to this thread for being there for me at the time. I don’t think I could’ve before, but if I can help anyone else now, I’ll do my best.

Thanks and hope you’re all keeping well 🙂