Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[Phoenix09]

Moonstruck thank you for directing me to this page.

This is my 4th day at home drinking, feeling hung over and drinking more to not feel hung over. Not eating then vomiting up alcohol.

Its like I want to continue punishing myself. I have thoughts that it's easier if I'm not around so my partner and children don't need to put up with someone like me.

[geoff]

hi Phoenix, I have replied to your own thread, but if you could read some of these success stories maybe of some help, and I will keep on eye out for both threads. Geoff.

[JayT]

Hello Kazzl, I have just joined the forum and read your helpful posts. I am trying to beat the booz - it is hard as I have drunk all my life (I am 63). I realise I have to stop and know that I use it as a crutch which started when I was young and needed to combat shyness. Since then, I have used it to relief stress, sadness and even boredom. I had a real setback last night and feel embarrassed and ashamed. Just have to put it behind me and try again. I would love to drink in moderation but think it is not possible. I need to quit. I would welcome any tips. Thanks JayT

[white knight]

Hi JayT, welcome

Im afraid Kaz hasnt posted here in a while but Ill try to get someone appropriate to reply.

In the meantime I wouldnt be beating yourself up about it, being ashamed is enough self hurt. I presume you feel its a set back but one step back is ok if you take two steps forward

Cheers

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello JayT, I'm pleased you have found this thread, it's been going for a long time and always will.
Alcohol is legal we all now that, but what it can do is become an addiction, need to rely on it in difficult situations, use it as an escape mechanism and when we are in a stressful situation help us to get through something we didn't particularly want to do.
I'm sorry that you had to face this set back whether it came to you or whether it was dropped on your lap doesn't really matter, because the same result could happen, and to put it behind you is not as simple as just saying it, I hope you can, but is a similar situation going to happen again, or are there going to be any repercussions from it now or in the future, that's a decision you will need to make, again I hope it does and if so then you have the strength needed to stop drinking.
If you can have one or two drinks and then stop, then you that's drinking in moderation, however if one drinks spurs you on to keep drinking then you won't be able to drink in moderation not unless you have a medical problem, knowing that too much won't be good for your body.
If you go to your doctor they can prescribe a particular medication which will stop any urge to drink, in other words you won't feel like drinking, and even if you do have a drink you won't get any buzz, but this will only work if you really want to stop, if not then it's a waste of time and money.
The time when you wanted to start drinking and it's usually a set time, then have a big glass of fizzy drink and something to eat, this will help you get over any desire, but don't forget you're taking this medication.
Please come back to me, there must be a million questions you want to ask. Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

"need to rely on it in difficult situations, use it as an escape mechanism and when we are in a stressful situation help us to get through something we didn't particularly want to do."

Geoff my old friend, it's been a while and what has happened to Kazz...I hope she is OK? I had to reply to your quote above....sounds good to me. (LOL)

.."escape mechanism, when in stressful situation, help us get thru something"....yep, good old grog will do that for me..no wonder I relied on it so much. Forgive my light heartedness....but yes the damn thing can be such a deceptive "friend and lover"can't it. It helped me with all the above, and then ended up nearly Killing me...the bastard! I nearly posted the other day actually...I felt so down, confused and agitated, plus a dose of bad cough, sore throat etc....and I thought Oh Please...just a glass of wine? Is that too much to ask??

No, I didn't...of course. But it's like an old love song...occasionally it keeps coming on the radio and I think "remember when? those were the days"......Oh well, I may still get agitated and down...but hey...I'm ALIVE!

[white knight]

hi moonstruck

also like cigareetes, been 32 years for me and occasionally??

Good to see you fight on ms...

Tony WK

[geoff]

hi Moonstruck, Kaz has left the site due to her other workload commitments, so we hope this thread does stay open. Geoff.

[JayT]

Hi Geoff, Thanks so much for your reply. It is always great to know that others are around who understand your story and have been in similar situations. I am starting new routines at times when I would normally have a drink and am really determined to kick the habit; I know that I am an all or nothing person so I do not think drinking in moderation is going to be an option. You start off with the best of intentions and then creep back to where you were. It is very hard in the circles I move in - we live in a wine growing area and there is nothing more pleasurable than spending a sunny afternoon having a few wines with friends. When you decide to stop, you realise how much our society revolves around drinking. Anyway, I am feeling positive and so let's hope I can do it - thanks for advice about getting medication. All the best to you and thanks again, JayT

[geoff]

hi JayT, thanks so much for getting back to me, I really appreciate it, but more so that you are determined you want to stop, perhaps I can tell you a true story that has happened to many people I knew.
When I was part-owner and then manager of another hotel there were the old regulars who needed to drink everyday, so they were lined up outside the hotel waiting for me to open the doors, and they had been drinking all their life, whether they were young or old, but came in and sat in their usual bar stool with their hands shaking and could hardly hold the pot they had just bought, so I ask them if they wanted a straw, that was out of the question, and after 2 pots their hands stopped shaking.
Nowadays I see them walking about the streets, so I ask them where do they drink these days, most of them say they don't drink anymore, simply because their doctor said 'well it's a life or death situation for you' so they've given up, lost weight and look so much better.
It was a big decision for them but they did it.
Where you live and how the temptation is so desiring to have one drink, but then leads onto 2 more and so on, so abstention maybe your only choice.
During my depression where I self medicated with alcohol I managed to abstain several times, and just told people it's my 'doctors orders, your health won't tolerate anymore', but now I only socially drink, that's all I want to do, because of my health, plus if I have too much I certainly never want to have another seizure, and I have the worse type, 'grand mal'.
Can I say that don't worry if you stop but then break and start drinking again, I call this just having a hiccup, you will stop again.
Please keep me informed, I'm really interested in how you go. Geoff.