Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[geoff]

hi Moonstruck, yes there are so many times when you could have a drink, the temptation maybe too strong, 'how about just one drink that would settle me down', maybe or maybe not, if you do have a drink then you will feel guilty not only for yourself but to those who have supported you along this period, and feel that you have let yourself down.
If only one drink was all you drank but for alcoholics it won't end at that one drink, although it feels terrific once again to be what you once were intoxicated, so now the label of being an alcoholic sticks and will always be there.
If you are able to stop drinking then you should be able to watch someone drink in front of you, without getting anxious, in other words you have to be able to drink a coke without any hesitation and not worry you, or walk past a bottle shop or pub without even thinking 'can I'.
At the moment you are only worried about participating in this activity sober, that's all you are concerned about, so this can be a problem, but you are manufacturing all of this yourself, but you did it last year without grog, so do you want to do well with grog inside you or achieve two accomplishments, manage without the grog and do well in this activity.
I think that you have the chance to do this, because alcohol will only bring you back to square one and then in a few weeks time wonder whether you try once again, because this is a feeling that will always be there until you are strong enough to be able to ignore.
Maybe a little harsh on you and for that I'm terribly sorry. Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Saw your message in the Cafe Geoff....no, that's ok...no offence taken. I appreciate your support I really do, and Kaz'. I haven't taken one of course.....just getting somewhat anxious about how to handle the anxiety if and when it rises and I am in the middle of the activity...can I ride it through?

You may have misunderstood my explaining about my triggers...I can easily handle someone drinking in front of me, live within walking distance of clubs and pubs, in fact I go there often with friends...no temptation whatsoever...none!

So that is a Godsend, as I believe some folk would find that incredibly painful for them...so I am fortunate in that...no, my trigger has always been emotional upset over relationships, and mainly anxiety - as it used to fall magically after a drink....it gave me relief from the anxiety and emotional pain, guilty memories and all that!........I won't have a drink....after all, it's my 4 years anniversary tomorrow!!!

[geoff]

hi Moonstruck, appreciate your comment and well done for 4 years. Geoff.

[monkey_magic]

Hi everyone, have read some of this thread so have a lot of helpful advice,thankyou. A couple days ago I felt like a glass,I knew better because recently been emotional & stressed & its been my habit. This time I drank the whole bottle, sitting in my car, instead of going for the walk I was going to go on. I seem to think it will change my state of being but never does. I started drinking when I was overwhelmed with life. Realizing just how hard life can b and after going through a lot of loss. I used alcohol to take the edge off. I always thought id just have one,it was usually 3 ( whilst out & buying glass at a time) but if I bought a bottle to have one drink or two bottles to have over time, forget it I'd drink it all. I'll specify they were wine bottles. Having a foggy head doesn't help with my drinking. And being emotionally unstable means I'm not always in complete control of myself. These days I don't drink as regularly as I used to but at times wish I didn't drink at all....except for special occasions drinking cocktails etc.. I've used alcohol to destress but yep not working....

[Rhes]

Hi Steph,
Hope you're ok. Just wanted to say, if you want help with quitting, this forum and the people in it really are amazing, which I'm sure you've seen. I quit completely in July last year and checking in here at the time, everyday for a week or so made absolutely all the difference. Talking it out really is the only way. The bottle silences the mind but it's the worst thing to do to an anxious mind. Sure the anxiety is still there after quitting but it's definitely easier to deal with. I really can't imagine subjecting myself to the horror of a hangover anymore, along with dealing with my generally overactive mind and everything that goes with that. The only thing I'm still going through is dreams where I'm about to have a drink (and luckily wake up before I do from guilt). I wanted to see if anyone else experienced or still experiences this? And hello to everyone, sorry I've been away for so long, have been going well and owe it all to you guys 🙏

[Moonstruck]

Hi all...just checking in with everyone. Hey Steph - I can identify SO closely to what you just wrote...although everyone's story is of course unique....but it was just so familiar...the situation, the reasons why etc etc. I understand where you are coming from so well.

I never dreamed I'd be writing this...that it's been just over 4 years since I gave up - i didn't "want" to...I never wanted to - I was sort of "forced to" through health reasons - a couple of near death experiences left me no choice. That's how weak a human being I am - I STILL wish I could have a drink. It's not fair..others can...I can't!!

Oh Rhes...you quit completely in July?? that's brilliant!! No, I've never experienced a dream of drinking...I wonder why? We all do it so differently don't we?

Hey guys....I'm in the middle of doing a demanding activity....that I used to use grog for Dutch Courage and to "enjoy it more". this is the first time I will have engaged in it...without a single drink to help me, to lean on!! Will I fall apart without the grog? This is the great unknown!! Please tell me I can do it without the bottle to help me!!

Love and encouragement to all of you......and Steph...I truly wish you all the inner peace and the love you are worthy of. You are worthy of it, all by yourself.....even without the glass in your hand...you're still worth it!

[dueb]

hey

i have been getting drunk every afternoon sins i was 26 and now im 43.

iv been told im a functional drunk,so just drink get drunk go to sleep get up early make coffee.and off i go to daily choirs.the only three things i really don't like about my self are drinking smoking and the risk of my mind falling in the red zone again(suicidal)

for two months in 2010 i did't drink but i could not sleep either.

i would love to know what the world is like out there after 5pm.i would love to go for drive at night.

[Moonstruck]

You know -one of the things I love most about giving it up is the driving at night, any time, anywhere - and being able to say to myself " Ha ha, waste of time bothering with me guys" at the RBT teams!!! Who cares where they are - who cares how late I leave a club or pub or restaurant? Not me any more!!

[geoff]

hi Steph, can I just give you a warning and that's if the cops find you in the car even without it running they will book you for .05, they will also book you if you are in the back seat and have the keys in your possession.
There is always the false belief that alcohol will make you better, well it might while you are drinking, but next day they will still be there, plus having the guilt of having a hangover or the thought that you didn't want to drink, but it was too easy to buy a couple of bottles and consume the contents, only putting your recovery from these other problems back another day.
The problem we have when drinking is that we feel that it may not be social to join in and then have a glass, simply because you feel as though you maybe ostracised, but when everyone maybe drunk then you realise how sensible you have been.

Duebuoi, drinking in depression is very dangerous, although at the time you believe that it's going to relieve all the pressure you are suffering, but if you are in a temporarily or unstable, and please I only mean this in a nice way, then your thoughts are going to become worse, which means that all the pressure inside you is building up and up and may cause you to do something you could regret.
The difference is when you are sober your mind is different to when it is intoxicated.
Well done to Rhes and Moonstruck, now there is another world out there, one that you both have missed out on, and Steph I hope that you can still post how you are feeling on this site. Geoff. x

[Rhes]

Hi everyone, Geoff and Moon thanks for your supportive words as always! Moon you know you faced those challenges before, with alcohol, it might be easier to face them without it. I always say to myself, what's the worst that can happen? (and I measure it against all the bad things that have happened because of booze!) The strength to give up in the first place shows you can do what you set your mind to 😊

And dueboi, yeah I found so many things came up mentally when I quit drinking and that was cause for sleeplessness. It was so scarey the thought of giving up booze completely but once I did I found it was sooo much easier to deal with all the other issues in my life including the sleeplessness. I hope you're ok, everyone is here for you