Battling the booze

Kazzl · ‎08-02-2016

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do.

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz

geoff · ‎25-07-2016

dear Rhes, I feel guilty that poor Kaz has been the strength behind this post, because her experience has been tenfold plus her continuous support to all of you has been surmountable.
Well first of all Sinking Mama well done and I hope that you have lasted another few days, but remember if you broke those 3 days were very important as it sets a base for you to work on once again, and if your way to try and stop means going to bed at 7.30, then who cares, it's all these different little tricks that you use to stop drinking then use them, they will eventually change when you become more confident.
When I abstained, and this was many times, (and I have to tell you that I drink only socially now),but the time when I was due to begin I would make sure that I had a large glass of fizzy lemonade and also have something to eat, because on a full stomach the desire isn't so great, and I kept drinking this fizzy drink, in fact I would scull the whole glass.
Rhes, when your family keeps on telling you to stop drinking alcohol, then that's not what you want hear, remember the sign on a park bench 'wet paint don't touch', well we all touch the paint, so it's this demanding comment from your family which can cause you to drink, that's not how they should be supporting you, so in other words, a demand makes you want to drink, while there are other ways of being there for you and supporting you in the way you want them to is much better.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you break and start again, because if you abstain for 3 days and then start once more that doesn't mean it can't be done any more, especially if something happens that upsets you, that's when you need to put all your support network into action, because alcohol won't be able to solve any issue, it just prolongs your treatment and recovery. Geoff. x

Kazzl · ‎25-07-2016

Hi everyone - Geoff has raised a really important point for anyone trying to beat the booze (thanks Geoff, you are a treasure!). A slip doesn't mean the end, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't come back here and post. And you most certainly won't be judged if you do. Quite the opposite!

When I was getting sober, we talked about gaining 'sober miles', that is the days we didn't drink. Those sober miles still exist, even if you do slip back and drink again. You learn from them, you learn what a clear head feels like, what it's like not to wake up hungover, and they can drive you on to try again. In my case they taught me to accept that, for me at least, there was no such thing as 'just one', but it took a while to learn that.

The important thing is to keep trying until it 'sticks' and if you really want to quit it will stick eventually.

Here for you.

Kaz

xxxx

Rhes · ‎26-07-2016

Hi Geoff and Kaz and everyone else reading this great forum. Thank you so much for the sound advice and support. I'm only on day 2 and it feels easy, positive, uplifting even, just for the fact I'm not in denial about it anymore. I'm giving myself other rewards instead of beers at the end of the day. I know it'll get way more difficult, it's really helping to stay focussed and analyse the drinking trigger thoughts (they're very sneaky!) and work out what's behind them, what I really need instead. The info on here is so helpful and it's good to know you're here to talk to 🙂

geoff · ‎27-07-2016

dear Rhes, this is where we need to talk often, because Kaz and I know that it's not easy, it's b*****y tough, but with each day of abstention that's milestone which you have to remember, maybe not so much now because at the moment your thoughts are to get through another day.
Put a calendar on the wall, you probably have already, but as each day passes, cross it out with a big black texture, that will show you the achievement you have done. Geoff x

Kazzl · ‎27-07-2016

Hiya Rhes, well done hun! You're going great. And you sound really positive. Giving yourself other treats is a good idea, it relieves that feeling of deprivation. I like Geoff's idea of the calendar, the further you get the easier it becomes and you'll see what a big achievement this is.

It probably will get a bit harder soon, that often happens around the middle and end of the first week, so hang in there and stay strong. It gets better again real soon. Another little trick some friends of mine used was to set aside the money they would have spent on booze and then buy themselves something nice with it. I did this too ... after a few months I bought a lovely ring which I wore as my sobriety ring every day to remind me. Eyes on the prize hun - you can do this!

Kaz

xxx

Rhes · ‎27-07-2016

Hi Geoff and Kaz, great advice as always. I will mark my calendar too. Yes it's tough, I am feeling positive as I keep in mind i'm not missing out on anything by missing out on drinking, that's for sure. I am feeling quite crappy now, kind of like a hangover but different. In a way it's good because I just feel like sleeping not drinking, when I get home today. I never have a problem sleeping as I do a very physical job, but I've been waking at 4am each morning. It's no problem, I get back to sleep by listening to podcasts. All these symptoms of alcohol withdrawal seem to be happening right on cue. I can't believe how bad it is for the body! Otherwise, mentally I'm good. I know the mental challenge will be the next thing to face though.

Hope you're both well 🙂

Moonstruck · ‎27-07-2016

Hang in there Rhes.....you're doing really well. Yes the old "calendar" marking worked for me....counting off the days.....turning into weeks (how miraculous was THAT!!!)....then it became MONTHS...oh God how am I doing this impossible thing??? you stop counting after a couple of years...then it becomes just over a year....nearly 2 years etc etc.....sounds like a marathon hey? I'm coming up about 3 and a half years about now.

I remember I got a little booklet from the Alcohol & Drug Department from our local hospital which was easy to understand and with cartoons explaining in a humorous way what to expect each day re withdrawal, bodily changes, cravings etc...it was spot on!!

My GP at the time suggested counting up how much I'd spend on casks of wine etc for the week...then as the weeks went by, get myself a little present with the money I'd saved. All of us are right with you Rhes......Moon S

Jodes01 · ‎27-07-2016

Hi there, I am after some suggestions/advice please. I have probably been drinking way over the recommended limits for about 10-15yrs. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and this can escalate in times of high stress to need weeks off from work. I have a demanding job with high responsibilities and poor stress management.

I drink to relax and I drink to forget. It's not healthy and it affects my ability to be motivated to do anything. I really don't know how my partner puts up with me. He is awesome and will push me at weekends to do something physical like kayaking or bike riding. I don't socialise or even wish to leave the house if I can help it. I have seen a psych recently but I cannot follow through on the simplist tasks and I'm sure it is because of the booze.

so I made the decision to do something about it. I've tried to reduce intake before or use willpower to stop drinking but it doesn't work for me. I purchased Allan Carr's Easyway book the other weekend and stop drinking whilst reading the book, since the 16th July - 11 days ago. I'm am not sure whether this is coincidence or alcohol withdrawal but since the 21 July I feel like death. I feel like I have a sore head/neck and on the verge of sinusitis, this morning pretty severe headache which made my tolerance to criticism very low and burst into tears. Apart from this I feel ok, but little energy to do much after work except vege out.

so what does withdrawal feel like? Does the above sound like a virus or withdrawal. What can I do to manage it, and how long might it last?

i was experiencing palpitations over the weekend but this has settled down. I do feel quite anxious at the moment and have required medication on two occasions but I am only using if anxiety is extreme and upsetting me.

I feel a bit alone but I know this will be worth it it not sure where to get information or help.

Kazzl · ‎28-07-2016

Hi Jodes, welcome to the forum hun. You have made a great decision to quit the booze - I know I couldn't do anything to address my mental health problems until I stopped drinking. That had to come first for me. Well done on your progress so far, you're going great!

It is possible that your symptoms are from withdrawal, I know a lot of people experience flu-like symptoms when they quit. But I'd say if it continues, talk to your doc. It might be a virus, or it could be both, especially at this time of year.

The emotional issues are common too with withdrawals - both our bodies and minds experience big changes when they don't get the alcohol they are used to. It will pass with time, maybe another week or two. The good news is once you start to feel better you REALLY feel better - sleep, mental state, body, everything improves. Your skin and eyes will be brighter and you'll feel a great sense of achievement.

The best thing to do in the early days is focus on staying sober and keeping well. That means staying hydrated (sweet drinks can help - our bodies are used to a lot of sugar from alcohol) eating well, sleeping when you need to, getting fresh air, distracting yourself with things you enjoy and avoiding triggers (whatever would make it hard for you to not drink, say going out with friends or whatever). This should be your main focus for a while, but it is so worth it.

It's great you have joined us here and I hope you'll treat it as a place to come and chat anytime you need some sober company and support.

Kaz

Kazzl · ‎28-07-2016

Hiya Rhes, you are doing really well hun! I love your attitude. It's great you have a physical job - wearing yourself out physically so all you want to do is get into bed is a good strategy for the early days. People I know joined a gym when they first quit booze so they could knock themselves out after work then go home and collapse. (I tried that for a while but sadly my relationship with exercise is, well, problematic haha).

It's quite normal that you'd be feeling a bit crappy now, but it will pass soon. The second week is just that bit easier. Don't forget to treat yourself, especially at the end of the week. I struggled badly with Friday nights for a while. Have your favourite takeaway, buy a cake, whatever makes you feel good.

Keep going hun, we're cheering you on from the sidelines here! 😃

Kaz

xx