Anxiety and depression/loneliness

[Branka]

Hi to everyone. I have recently moved to Melbourne from Sydney to be with my 2 younger sons and grandson. It was a major decision as I had been living in Sydney for 50 years. I thought that moving would be great. My anxiety and depression has become worse. I have had clinical depression since I was 16 and anxiety for most of my life.

I am living with my youngest son and his wife. He abuses me verbally and emotionally and I now wonder if the move was wise. I simply don't have the energy nor finances to move back to Sydney. I feel lonely and sad as I just don't know what to do. I have no friends however, I have started working whicj has made me feel better.

I am divorced and unable to protect myself from my son's abuse. This is making me extremely anxious and sad. Why did I move in with him? Because I thought he may have changed particularly as he had recently married. I was wrong and feel really confused.

I am new to this forum and hope that I can find some support. Thank you.

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

I'm glad work is helping you, as I might have said I have found it a release too when things are bad.

I'm afraid everything you say about your son only confirms his unpleasant personality type.

We all have things in our lives that are important to use, not just big things like pets, but smaller things like a comfortable bed we are used to.I think when we are undergoing a huge upheaval in our lives these things assume even more importance, representing a sort of stability and security.

Hopefully you can get the documents, and your cat, early this week. It's excellent SafeSteps rings to see how you are. Have you asked them for support in obtaining a police escort as yet?

I hope you find something to distract your mind this evening

Croix

[Branka]

Hi Croix

My son wants to join the police force. If I have the police come to the house I'm sure it will ruin his chances of getting in. However, my other son said would I want someone like my youngest son in the force. Maybe he has a point.

I 'm going to watch a movie on netflix and hopefully keep my brain from churning.

Branka xxx

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

Put brain into park and enjoy Netflix

Croix

[Mathy]

What your older Son said was my first thought. Your younger son sounds totally unacceptable as a police officer. I agree with Croix, “brain in park, watch Netflix”. I’m glad that work is such a positive for you.

Branka said:

Hi Croix

My son wants to join the police force. If I have the police come to the house I'm sure it will ruin his chances of getting in. However, my other son said would I want someone like my youngest son in the force. Maybe he has a point.

I 'm going to watch a movie on netflix and hopefully keep my brain from churning.

Branka xxx

[Branka]

Hi Croix

I feel so angry with my son at the moment. Things didn't have to be this way. I don't understand what makes an individual think they can treat another with such disrespect. I have decided to go collect my documents with or without an escort. I have to transfer my car plates and licence over to vic otherwise my car will run out of rego.

I don't see any other choice but to risk it. It's probably stupid but I am feeling so angry at the moment. Who does he think he is anyway?

I can tell him that the police know that I am going to collect my stuff and are aware of the situation. No on second thought I will ring them and ask their advice.

Then I will get my stuff. It probably sounds like I am not thinking straigt but I can't help the anger I am feeling at the moment.

Branka xxx

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

I'm glad you are going to ring and get advice first.

As for feeling angry, for me anger has been good at times, given me the courage and determination to see something though I was frightened about.

By now you may have been for your stuff and we would really like to know how you went

Croix

[Branka]

Hi Croix

My anger did give me the courage to get my documents. My son stayed in his room. It was so good to see my cat. I miss her so much.

My daughter in law said that my son would leave me alone if I came back. If I did return it would be temporary and closer to the rental properties I want to look at.

I am going to call 1800respect to see what my options are for staying safe if I do return. It would only be temporary. But I will give very careful thought.

Branka xxx

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

I'm relived it all went well - and that your cat is OK too.

I guess you have to decide, my own feeling is it would be a pretty bad move. You are buoyed up by a few minutes that worked out OK, bolstered by anger when you were not face to face with your son. You also had a place to retreat too.

If you remember back to how you felt just before decided to leave, the emotions you were feeling were very intense and truly horrible.

I'd hate to think of you being the same way again.

I'd guess this might be a time for patience, what do you think?

Croix

[Branka]

Hi all

I guess I have to go home. I haven't heard from safesteps but I know they have more urgent cases. I have decided that if my son starts to abuse me I will take out an AVO till I find a rental property. Apparently my cat is very stressed and 'feral'.

My daughter in law is saying that I am not thinking straight. Little does she know that I am definitely thinking straight. I am stil very angry with my son.

I hope I am doing the right thing. It will only be temporary. If I have to take out an AVO so be it and there go his chances of joining the police force.

Branka xxx

[Mathy]

Hi Branka,

I can understand your feelings here. Please make sure that you stay safe and that you continue with your plans to live elsewhere. Even taking the time to organise a Plan B for your cat, whilst being back in your Son’s house, would be good. Just so if you’re forced back into that position again, the cat goes with you, and then onto a carer, and your son isn’t in the position of using the cat.

However, I hope it doesn’t come to that. I really hope you make an orderly exit from that house, on your terms. Do take care and keep us in the loop, all the best and hugs, cheers M 🙂