Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Dearest Grandy,

Lass right now it will be terribly hard for you to see beyond your present pain & sadness.  Woofa was my best mate & after letting him go I felt shattered & the pain of loss was awful, he had always been there for me.  It has been nearly a year since & I still miss him, but I'm hoping to get a new doggy friend next year.  Why, when I know how much it hurts to lose a furry family member?  Because Yes they have shorter lives than us, but they pack to much love & trust in the time they have & I want to give one the best life it can possibly have.  Lass your furs depend on you to be there for them as they are there for you.  Think about how lost they would be if you left them. 

Ebony gave you her love & left you with a piece of her heart, when you gave her a piece of yours.  That is something so very positive, as are the memories you have of her.  Lass losing what we love is just one part of life, the life that was shared & the love that went with it is so much more, however short.

Gentlest of hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Grandy sending you a big hug.

GrIeving for a beloved pet is difficult and we are hear to support you and to listen to your pain. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Quirky and everyone……🤗.

Thank you Paws for your wise and caring words, I did give Ebony the best life I could for her, full of love and care…and she gave back to me so much love…A love that will stay forever in my heart…I miss her daily, sometimes unconsciously I still call her in for treats and food with my other 2….she had the gentlest soul…

Ebony was no bigger than a match box when she was born, jet black like an Ebony stone, that’s how she got her name….

Everytime I looked at her before she went to doggie heaven, I cried so hard know the pain she was in and knowing what had to be done…I felt her pain, saw it in her eyes, poor little sweetheart….Now I look at her empty bed and cry different tears, tears of grief, not being able to see, hear or cuddle her again….

I questioned myself so much, even knowing she had only a day or 2 left on this earth, should I have let her continue to live those couple of days in pain..did I rob her of those 2 days…Then I think that if I was in a lot of pain and had only a couple of days left, I would welcome euthanasia….doesn’t make it any easier though, even though I know what my choice would be for me…

My other 2 dogs looked for her the first few days, now they are living their lives again, they have gotten closer towards each other, following each each around, playing with each other…I think to myself how quickly they adjusted to the loss of Ebony…I spoke to my counsellor and she told me that in time I will too, my pain and sense of loss will ease….the beautiful times and memories I had with her will rise again to the front of my mind…..slowly they will come through….

My kindest thoughts to you all…

Hugs, care and love everyone…🤗🦋❤️..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone 💗

Dear lady my heart goes out to you darlin friend 💜

Grieving is such a powerful deeply painful emotion 🤗
This beautiful caring support can be a great comfort not only knowing people care also understanding makes the hard times that little bit more bearable in a different way.
 SO SO sad hun. 

I liked hearing your reasoning about the last 2 days darl which is really good to see it that way particularly amidst the tremendous pain. Good on you Grandy darlin that’s really good.
That’s right although imo it’s sound reasoning at this stage it’s very difficult to lighten the pain. 

I’m glad you mentioned the other beautiful furs, I’ve been wondering how they’re going.
Loven that they’ve become closer. I imagine the loss for them as well would still be there esp for dear Kya. 
Apparently cats have a very short memory span but not sure about Dogs. I suspect theirs is longer but not sure. 
Im so glad Grandy that you have those beautifuls as well. 
Ebony will never be forgotten hun 🤗

Yes that’s right huns that when our minds work through the pain, in time the beautiful memories resurface. 
As hard as it would be it might help to think about the pleasure you both had with the cuddles. Possibly could soften the pain sweety. 

Darlin girl you’re as you know always in my thoughts, more so in these times lovely  

Really love you darlin 🙂🤗🕊️💗🍓

[Paw Prints]

Hello Dear Grandy,

Just popping in with a cuppa & some chocolate cake.  We can sit all rugged up on your verandah & enjoy the night sky sparkling.  I thought we could look at pictures of our furs from throughout their lives & remember all the silly & fun things they did.

I still find myself going to share my crusts etc with Woofa or trying not to wake him if I move about in bed.  I'm sure it will be some time before I stop doing these things.  Your counsellor is right about the happier memories coming to the front of your mind with time, I am finding that with my remembering Woofa.  Kya & Peppa will grieve in their own ways, as you have noticed with them becoming closer as a source of support for each other.  They won't have forgotten her, but because they got to see her after she passed they don't have that need to look for her.  

Gentlest of hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey everyone 😊

And our dear Grandy hi sweety 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 I dearly hope you’re going ok darl. Ok because it’s all so hard atm aye so Ok is enough for now and in time that’ll increase to better. 
Thinking about you darls 🤗💗🕊️

So I bought a choccy mud cake from Cole’s …uh oh…they’re really good. Can’t say I didn’t warn anyone. Yummo so I thought we could join you, Pawsy and our other lovelies on the veranda for a nice hot I’d think would be a must from what I’ve heard about your weather brrr tea or coffee. 
Night time would be good then we could take in the star magic and watch shooting ones too. 
such a calming beautiful scene up there and I find it fascinating wondering what’s it’s all about. 

Grandy I haven’t checked in on your health for a while, how’s the ticker behaving hun and the hip. 
Equally important your arms darl which won’t be too far off I hope now. What a relief that’ll be. 

It’s a beautiful day here as it mostly is. Hope you can find some lovely moments to savour darling friend 💜💭

Ok sweet thing I’ll catch ya later. PubAok love you very much darlin. 🤗🍓🍫🦋🕊️

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone…🤗..

Sorry it’s taken a while for me to reply…I got into a dark place and found it really hard to be here…my mind was so foggy that putting words into sentences was very difficult…

On my Drs appointments a couple of weeks ago, she could tell I was down so I told her about my beautiful fur girl passing and the couple of days prior to her passing….where she was hemorrhaging from behind…I didn’t know what was happening and felt hopeless to help her…anyway my Dr said that I went through a traumatic time and needed grief counselling…to help me cope with my feelings and emotions, so she organised a grief counsellor to ring me….

When the grief counsellor did ring me and we started talking…it was like my heart was broken all over again by her words…she didn’t know it was my fur girl who passed and when she did her reaction was terrible…it was just a dog and I wasn’t worth her time or counsel…🥲….

Slowly I’m learning to live without her…missing her antics a lot, I watch my other two dogs and they are getting on with their lives without her….being born human hurts, I think a lot more then being born in another form of living creature…..

I planted a red rose bush next to her grave yesterday….talked to her and said a little pray of gratitude for having her in my life….

Its raining today, I love a rainy day…I’m collecting rain water in a few large water containers today…our towns water is drinkable but with so much lime scale in it can cause stones forming in the kidneys…so I alway buy my water for drinking or cooking, so collecting rain water is a challenge, bit of fun and a bit of distraction as well as being very productive😁..

I hope everyone has a good day today, regardless of what weather your experiencing today…

Hugs, love and care everyone…🤗🩷🦋..

Grandy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy and wave to everyone,

I am so sorry you had that unhelpful person for the grief counselling. The loss of a pet is no less whatsoever than the loss of a human. It is really unfortunate you got someone who was so insensitive. You could perhaps give feedback to your doctor about the experience and also take heart in the fact that your doctor recognised and validated your grief.

I have called helplines a number of times in the past and while most experiences are very good I have had the occasional person who is not attuned and present at all and has left me feeling worse. I’ve then tried again and got a lovely, helpful person. You may well get a lovely, supportive person if you called somewhere like Griefline. I just had a look at their website and found an article about losing a pet which may be helpful. I think I’m alllowed to post Griefline links here:

https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/ 

In any case, go gently with your feelings and know they are valid. It is lovely you have planted a red rose bush for Ebony and you are remembering her beautiful nature and presence that she brought into your life. I think that presence stays with you in memory and can be a comfort. She is still with you in spirit.

I hope you’ve managed to collect lots of lovely rainwater. Limescale is an issue here too and I’m in a place with old pipes. I have wondered about it at times. I have a rainwater tank but it collects water from the roof and gutters that are all made of asbestos. So I don’t drink that water. Fresh rainwater is lovely and I hope you have a good store of it now.

Sending you love and hugs dear Grandy 🤗💗

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass I wish I could be here for you in r/l.  I am honestly appalled by the grief counsellors attitude, it is unprofessional & cruel.  Our pets are family & the grief we feel when losing them is officially recognised in psychiatric medicine.  I don't know if you might find it helpful, but if you search "pet grief australia" the GriefAustralia website has info about coping with the loss of a pet & the BB helpline won't fob you off, they are wonderfully kind.  Of course your friends here always have an ear & a shoulder for you.

How lovely that you have planted a rose bush next to her.  The plant I bought for Woofa died before I got it planted, so I need to buy another.  

Loss & grief is so very hard, but try to remember it hurts so much because she gave you so much love & nothing can take that away.

Gentlest of hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Ggrand

I find that really ignorant that a trained counsellor does not know what a pet means to its owner and how it can be overwhelming grief. I report the counsellor to the people she works for.