Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

I'm so sorry for you. It is one of the very sad facts of life that our lovely pets do not live as long as we do, and we are faced with their passing away

I can understand you changing your mind, I have too before now and had to wait for someone to come with  me otherwise I don't think I could have done it.  Please don't be frightened of life without her. She''ll still be in your mind. I now look back with fondness on some of the things past pets have got up to. I still smile when I think of one in particular who sat up and grinned so hard he sneezed.

His favorite trick was to sneak up right behind an unsuspecting Mrs C and give one "YAP!" which caused Mrs C to freak out and exclaim "**** *****" -no wonder he grinned

Have a gentle hug

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Grandy,

I just wanted to send you support as it is so hard when our beautiful pets are nearing the end of their life. I really understand you turning back as you did. I think I would feel very much the same in that situation. You are trying to make the best possible decision for her. Trust in yourself and know that you will know what is right in your heart for her. Don’t worry about other people’s judgements, just listen in to what feels right. We are here to support you lovely Grandy.

Take care and warm hugs,

ER

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone….

Thank you so much for understanding how I’m feeling…

I said goodbye to my sweet gentle little Ebony today at 12.30…

Tomorrow I’ll bury her in my front garden…she used to sit and play in their….God knows how much I’m hurting and missing you…overwhelming sadness….always sweet Ebony you’ll be in my heart ❤️…

RIP my beautiful Ebony… 2016-2024…🌈🙏…

Grandy..

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Ebony. I know you will greatly miss her as I’m sure your other fur girls will too. You would have been the best, most loving and caring mum to her.

Go gently and know you have support here if you need it.

Sending you a gentle hug 💗💕

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜 & everyone 💗

Ahh darlin this is such sad news 😥 You dear lady of course your heart would be breaking 🤗 and mines with you always hun especially in these such hard times 💜💗🦋

Dear Ebony 8 yrs of pure reciprocated love. I’ve dreaded this happening hun knowing the beautiful bond you have with your dear furs. 
It’s not possible to not fall in love with the girls hearing of so much pleasure they give and their antics. The one that I still often think about with smiles is them chasing each other around the house. I’ve felt same about others here too in the same situation hearing of their gorgeous ways.

All the beautiful memories they stay darlin and in time as the deep pain eases it’ll hurt less and you’ll never forget or lose that love that I’ve no doubt you know.

Grandy love I know this would have been incredibly hard to do.

I don’t know if our dear girl was in pain but knowing the nature of the insipid disease if she wasn’t she potentially would have been in later times which you’ve bravely spared her. 
Please hun try hard not to let beasty rule and not beat yourself up because I really feel you’ve done what was best for the beautiful girl. 

I think the selfish comments are heartless when someone’s in heavy grieving. I’ve heard people in the past say the same. Its love and a massively hard option. You’re one of the least selfish people I have the pleasure of knowing.

Dear Ebony moved on with your strong love in her heart. What a beautiful way to be.

Darlin I started a reply today from your first news about the precious then saw this one today and after I’d finished replying lost it!
I’m deeply sorry for your pain hun. Knowing you’re hurting so much too 😥

Really love you Grandy. Please look after yourself lovey. Always you’re in my thoughts especially now.

We’re here Grandy. You have many friends to walk with 🌸

💜🤗💗🦋🕊️

[Paw Prints]

Oh dearest Grandy,

I'm in tears lass at your loss.  Nothing I can say will ease your hurt right now. 

She was a lucky girl to have had you as her human.  It's good she is home with you, so your other furs can know & understand her passing, rather than her just being taken away & not returning.  

Gentlest of hugs lass

Paws

[Moonstruck]

Oh Grandy.....on one hand I am so glad I found you again on Forum.  (thanks to Croix).  I have been wanting to make contact with you for a long time but since the changes they made I couldn't find you.   Now I see your heartbreaking news and my heart goes out to you.....I do understand how you must be feeling and so very sorry. There is nothing I can say to ease your pain but know that your friends on here care very much and are sending their love.  

[demonblaster]

Hey our beautiful lovable friend 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜 hi everyone 🌸

Sweetyheart just popping in to have a nice warm soothing cuppa with you darlin and give you a huge 🤗 hug filled with love. 

It’s quite ok and completely understandable if you’re not up to talking atm.

We can just sit together hold hands if you like and be comfy in silence.

Just know honey you’re not alone. You have a beautiful extended family here who care very much about you and understand the tremendous pain of loss. 

I imagine the two girls are feeling it too. You’d all be a great comfort for each other.

Please look after our Grandy darlin as hard as it is in these times.

Really love you dear lady 💗🌈🍓🍫🦋💭

[Fiatlux]

Hi Dear Grandy and everyone else who visits here,

Just popped in to offer my sincere condolences. You made the best decision in the end. Be thankful that your fur baby is resting peacefully in your garden. (I wished that I had that option when I lost my 12 year old girl).

Must say that winter has been awful so far. I thought it was ok that I had flu or COVID in early June and that would be the end of it but the recovery and lingering cough is still awful. With RSV on the increase I am concerned. I still haven’t found a new GP so haven’t seen anyone in years. I always hated going to the doctor.

I am afraid that my age and lack of exercise has really caught up to me now. I can barely walk upstairs without feeling like I’ve run a mile. 

I also have some very big life changing decisions to make. The opportunity to move back to our old house has come up. I look forward to living there again but have heaps of renovations to do first. Actually where we are living now also needs a lot of work as we haven’t done anything since moving in 18 years ago. But the place is just far too big for 3 people. I wish I could move on my own but that’s not a financially feasible option. Anyway, alas I will be meeting with a builder on the weekend to start the process. Our old house is in a quiet court location which I prefer. Still have the same old neighbours, who never moved.

Have a fantastic week, everyone. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Croix, Deebi, EagleRay, Moon, Quirky,nFiatlux……🤗..

Thank you so much for your kind posts…

I was holding her when she took her last breath….hardest thing I have ever done…yes Deebi she was in a lot of pain for 2 days, maybe longer, I’m not sure…I know she only had a couple of more days left… but couldn’t see her anymore in pain…I cried every time I saw how much she was hurting….I fought hard with my brain, hoping and praying that a miracle would happen and she would wake up after a sleep and be back to her beautiful fun loving self….It didn’t happen though…😢

Knowing it would be the last time I was ever going to see or touch my Ebony, I cuddled her for hours before I had the courage to dig her grave, and had to place her in it…then cover her…I can’t think of anything much about anything, except my sweet fur baby laying in the dark cold earth…when she would normally be curled up next to her mumma sitting right next to me on my lounge or in their beds…They had a bed each but they loved each other so much that regularly they snuggled together in one bed…

My home isn’t the same anymore….her mumma and adopted sister aren’t the same anymore…life will never be the same for me anymore….I pray that I will leave this earth before my other 2 furs…Its something you never think about, you care for them, love them, play with them, your life revolves around them…they are your little family especially when you live with only them…a part of my family is missing.😢…

I know I have some beautiful memories stored away somewhere in my brain…right now I cannot see any….I can only see her the way she was before I layed her to rest….I visit her every morning say goodnight to her every night…when the frost finishes I’ll place some flower seeds on her grave…😢…I miss her so much….Life is short…too short for these beautiful animals that give so much love, companionship, joy  and purpose to our lives…

Thank you again for your words of love, care and comfort…

My kindest thoughts are with you all..🤗💜🌈🪷..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…