Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Fiatlux]

Thanks HappySheep,

I have decided that it’s best that I don’t respond to any post that read like this… my life is perfect, perfect husband, perfect kids, beautiful family home and great job but I am not happy…

With all the struggles I have dealt with in my life, my children are my most important achievement. They turned out great. I have financial security but at 56 still not enough to retire early. That’s not an option yet. Health is ok, but could be better and thank heavens it’s not.

So when I read about someone who has it so great and still not happy and wanting more… I wanna take them aside, give a good shake up and tell them to look at the wonderful things and people they have in their lives and still wanting to throw it away for the unknown. 

It reminds me of a Cat Stevens song, Wild World… “But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware” 

Thank you all for listening. I am going to put on some Cat Stevens and get on with work. 

Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[demonblaster]

Hi darlin 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone 🌸

Just popping in to see how you’re going Huns 💭💗

I started a post to you a couple of days ago but it looks like it’s not stayed on auto save which I thought it’d be there still but anyway here I am. Tadaaa 👩‍🎓 oh …that’s from my scholar days….yeah right…

Ahh this is the one 👨‍🍳 well lately it is anyway. Been baking up a treat or two. Trouble is they’re really nice naughty Yums and oopsy we eat them up. Uh oh…🫢 need a muzzle which might do the trick.

Sweety from reading back its looking like it won’t be too far off before you have the first shoulder op. 
Wondering how you’re feeling about that. I imagine it’ll be a mighty relief once the recouping period finishes. Hopefully you’ve been able to get the worse side sorted to have that one done. 
Really hope the pains at least bearable atm. Any pain let alone severe makes it so hard to function doesn’t it. My hearts always with you hun you know that aye, might have mentioned it on the odd occasion Mrs bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Oh keep meaning to ask how it’s all going with the welfare side hun. 

Above all darlin how’s your mh going? Sadly as we well know it’s a process with grieving and such a heavy burden. I know you know you have many people here that really care about you and you can unload whenever you need beautiful. Not pressure just saying

 💜💭 

Okey doke lovey, yikes good thing I was looking when typing then…spell check thingy said okey…then dork lol instead of what I wanted being doke…then it said done but yay all good now 🫢

Grandy love you’re so important I know not only in my life but other beautifuls here as well. 
You honestly make such a difference. Thank you for being the beautiful soul you are. 
Love you very much sweet lady. Look after yourself and love to y/our beautiful fur family. You can’t not fall in love with those darlings hearing the cutey antics. I often picture them running through the house after each other. Love it. 

That latest bubble should be sliding under the door by now. Squeeze it gently and let us know what’s inside lovely one 💗🦋🕊️🫶😇

🌈🌦️🍓🍫

[Fiatlux]

Oh just dropped by for a laugh at demonblaster wearing a muzzle to protect the lovely baked treats… I have pretty good willpower and show restraint around delicious baked treats. 

The husband on the other hand 😮🍪

son baked a dozen giant choc chip cookies the other night, had one before going up to bed… next morning there were 4 left which I placed in the cookie jar for him… husband was up mid night snacking or bingeing more like it… 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix, Fiatlux, Hanna, Happy Sheep and everyone……🤗..

It is very sad that relatives don’t acknowledge that the worthy work that our beautiful passed volunteers have spent years doing as well as forming friendships isn’t important to them as it was to the beautiful 2 people that passed recently😢….So true are all your words that the love and care we feel for someone never leaves our soul…we have those beautiful memories and feelings forever….

Fiatlux, I’m so sorry that your husband is treating you so badly, if I had my time over, even though I loved him…I would have done differently by reaching out for help to move my children and myself to safety……Today, there’s so much help available…through my time struggling with abuse, there wasn’t much help available….I missed out on so much, my husband told me many times how he hated…yes hated his own children…..they knew it but loved him unconditionally like I did…..now I struggle with regrets, I do not want you to feel that way 🤗….I could have done better….now is too late for me…Please reach out for help if you need it…or if you’re able to, move into the unit you bought for your son with your other son and start feeling safe again…..and enjoy your children without any backlash from hubby……

Awe Deebi…no muzzle will stop me….Now I’m able to watch what I want on tv….go to bed when I want to…and most importantly eat what I want to …instead of doing what I’m told to do, and what not to eat…but please don’t get me wrong..if I had the opportunity I would give that away for my husband back….I never hated my husband…I loved him….regardless of how he treated me…everyone makes mistakes…forgiveness was and is always in my heart…

I rang the hospital about the wrong shoulder being operated on…they can’t change that unless I see my orthopaedic specialist again who is the only person who can change it…this now means that I have to be put back on the waiting list for my operation..it doesn’t make any sense to me to have surgery on my right shoulder because with normal use and not over exerting it, it is okay….I’m now hoping another cortisone injection can be arranged soon for my left shoulder…Life, never runs smoothly….

I hope everyone’s day is a good day…

Love, hugs and care to you all….💜🤗🦋….

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How annoying about your shoulder, I agree it would be better for you to get the more painful shoulder done first.  I hope you can get in too see the specialist soon & that another injection is possible to tide you over until the op.

I'm glad you are feeling up to going into work, I think we all know now that you do much better if you can get out of the house for a time each week, plus the friends you have made there will have missed you.  

I'm guessing the nights are getting cold where you are, as they are here.  I'm missing my Woofa sized bed warmer.  My hot water bottle sprang a leak the other week, so when I go into big town this week I have to remember to get a new one.  I'm not trusting my memory though, I have written it down & put the piece of paper with the scripts I need filled.  

Speaking of yummy treats, (love Deebi's muzzle idea) I recently discovered Nanna's individual Apple & Blackberry pies.... very very yum & perfect for this cooler weather.

Big hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Just dropping by to say hello and catch up. This is a lovely support thread. 
Grandy I agree about people not realising that volunteer are like family and we care and support each other. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Quirky, Fiatlux and everyone….my surgery has now been postponed until I see my orthopaedic surgeon again….😢..but will be on the short list for surgery this time….will be allowed another cortisone injection soon, that will help…it did last year…

It’s been a week plus since I’ve been to work, I ran too fast and caught the flu, I thought it was just a cold, how wrong I was…my ribs hurts from coughing, my nose is raw from blowing it, headaches thank goodness are gone, my voice is funny, disappearing every few words😂…I sound like ….well funny is the best word to describe it….regardless of how I feel, I will be going to work on Saturday, the other workers on the other days won’t open the shop when I’m not in…that’s so not fair to our customers…if they have a day off, someone always open for them….makes me feel like the days I work are not worthy enough for the others to help out…

Quirky, it’s nice you understand that working with our volunteer colleagues for so many years does grow many close friendships….its really sad…

Oh Dear, I’m not really happy right now Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, nothing has no flavour this past week or so…not even chocolate 😢…even closing my eyes and thinking about its deliciousness while having a piece does no good….hmmmm…Betty went to town today and I asked her if she could get me some wicked wings at kfc…hmmm…tasteless and they are usually so chilli hot they burn a bit….just meh 😒…I’m going to have a small feast when I get my taste back….I’ll put together a very tasty picnic basket and we can all have a picnic together next to the beautiful Dam near my home…..

I hope everyone has a good night tonight and tomorrow is a good day for you all….20 mils of rain is expected here tomorrow, I think I’ll sit out front with a blanket, my colouring book and enjoy the moment…

Love, hugs and care to all you beautiful friends..💜🤗🌈..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Fiatlux]

Sleep tight our Dear Grandy. 🙏🏼  Fiatlux 

[HappySheep]

Oh Grandy, the flu as well??!!! You really are having a lousy time. I think staying at home under a blanket with a colouring book and enjoying the rain sounds like the perfect treatment.

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all lovely people 🌸

Struth you’re really copping it aren’t you darlin. Poor love you must be quite run down hun. 
I hope you’re feeling at least a little better now darl. Makes you feel rotten doesn’t it 🤗

😂 ran too fast and caught the flu 🤣 loven it. 

wow that’s quite a break understandably from work. Hope that being away from people has been ok on your mh hun. 
What a lovely attitude you have wanting to open on Saturday for the community. You have a Golden and big heart 💛 dear Grandy we’ve always known that mind you 🙂

Oh that’s good hearing you being on the short list and esp being ok to have another needle. That’ll be a relief aye. What an ordeal. Good thing is near future it’ll be on the Rd to recovery.

Ouchy that’s just mean not being able to taste anything and struth …not choccy…arrrrr….thats downright frightening 😆 Yikes let’s hope the wicked wings give the taste budz a zap or at least burn the flu up. Ahh darlin 🤒

The picnic on the dam sounds magical. We can throw untold choccy in 🍫 … Nurse Deebis 👩‍⚕️ strict instructions oh and plenty of water 🍷too. I’ll have you fighting fit in a jiffy sweety girl 🍭

How lovely a blankly colouring in book sounds. Hope that was refreshing. You’ll like that rain coming hun. 

love and care very much dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 YAdimh pubAok lovey. You matter 💗🤗🌈🦋🍓