Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Fiatlux, Eagle Ray, Quirky and everyone….

I’m really sorry your husband is treating you this way…

Fiatlux, please if your feeling unsafe around your husband can you stay with a friend until you can work out what you want to do….You did the right thing by not disclosing any details from your former client…

Please don’t believe what your husband said to you…you’re a beautiful and caring person…the total opposite to him….

I hope you’re doing okay…

Sending you, and everyone hugs, love and care..

Grandy..

[Fiatlux]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your support and replies. Unfortunately when you have been in an abusive marriage as I have, friends and family drop off very quickly. 

[Fiatlux]

Hello Grandy, Quirky, Eagle Ray and all the lovely people who visit this forum,

It has been a long week. We have a public holiday on Monday and I feel that I need a day off. It has been a week full of stress and anxiety.

I finally finished my daughter’s birthday gifts and actually filled 2 albums of photos just of her, for her. As we have Easter coming up, I also packed her favourite Aussie treats. Tim Tams and lots of treats that she cannot get in the USA. I found a Golden Gay Time Easter egg. Just the name Golden Gay Time makes my son in law giggle. He loves it. I told him that it’s impossible to eat a Gay Time without a smile on your face and he gets it.

Although my parcel may have met with disaster. Monday morning husband offered to take it to the post office for me. I had it packed up, addressed and customs declaration filled out. At 10am husband returned home and told me that he needed to drive across Melbourne and would be back later. At 2pm he returned home and I asked him for the receipt and tracking details for the package. The package was still sitting in the car boot melting in the sun. I swear I almost fainted when I realised that he just couldn’t care less about my daughter’s gift. He swore at me, complaining that I am hysterical all the time. Even now I feel nothing but dread for when my daughter opens the package. I wrapped the photo albums and chocolates in bubble wrap but this doesn’t protect it from the heat. I just hope that it’s not a melted mess.

Needless to say that I can’t look at that man, let alone speak with him.

Thank you once again for your support. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Fiatlux,

I’m sorry your daughters Easter gifts are spoilt due to your husbands negligence….I think that’s the second time, that’s he has offered to do something for you in the past month and has not carried through his offer properly…..maybe,  could he be doing this on purpose?…

If it was me, from now on, I don’t think I’ll take up his offer anymore to do important things for me…..I would just do it myself….to save arguments and keep the peace…

I do hope that your daughters gifts arrive for her in good condition….

My kindest thoughts dear Fiatlux…with a hug..🤗..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hiya bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Grandy and everyone 🖐

Just putting daily thoughts to words, actually multiple daily thoughts love and care dear friend. 
How are you going darlin. And your physical health too. I want to know where you’re at beautiful. I don’t mean now but just when you’re up to Aunty Deebi needs a bbff fix and update please. Seriously when you’re ready darlin. I know how hard it can be if we’re not feeling great but Insincerely hope you are ok Huns. Just love you so keeping in touch. 

I do keep an eye on here and slacks need to reply to you and Kitty lovelies. Oops been preddy slacko. It’ll happen 🤗

phooey were just back from a walk, squally we’re pretty zonked for a bit. Haven’t as much lately. We both had Covid and there was rain at times too. Mr gorjy 😍 was hit a bit hard with it, I wasn’t too bad. Achey mainly in areas that have pain. All good now.

Mostly here although we’re sweating after our walk the weathers simmered somewhat how bout for you darl. Blaghh to summer. 

ok lovely one just sending you a load of love thoughts eternal friendship and care dear girl. Still thinking a fair bit of which way to go with your Xmas prezzy. Struth should be ready for next Xmas at the rate I’m moving. Was that a turtle just over took 🐢 Uh oh 😀

Look after your beautiful soul Grandy. You’re such a precious 🦋🧚🏼‍♂️

Take care everyone too 💗

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass having your washing machine go kaput is not what you need.   Please don't hand wash heavy things like your sheets....  you keep you clean, so it doesn't matter if they don't get washed for however long it takes for you to get a machine...   the last thing you need is to make your shoulders worse...  as for your clothes, towels etc, I wonder if you could ask Betty if you could use her machine until you get one... she is a good friend & I'm sure she wouldn't mind...  

hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍👩, Paws, Mk, and everyone…..🤗…

Sorry I haven’t been on BB for a week, maybe more…I have been having trouble with my IPad and internet service…

Washing by hand has aggravated my left shoulder..I’m having trouble using it again…I got a letter from the hospital a couple of weeks ago, saying I’ve moved up on the waiting list for surgery…been waiting 12 months now…how much longer?..I am grateful though that my right shoulder/arm has been good to me😁..

Last Sunday..the one just gone…my eldest son and his friend went to a bike show, only an hour and a half from my home….he called in to see me with and he also brought with him a brand new washing machine…Oh my goodness talk about emotional, I was an emotional mess….my house wasn’t really clean, under my old washing machine was….indescribably messy….I was ashamed of it all, felt guilty that he and my dil payed the money to buy me one…it should be the other way around…I should be helping them…..I had only quickly mentioned it when they rang me for my birthday a few weeks ago..not ever expecting them nor wanting them to buy me one…We had the biggest and longest hug ever…with lots of my tears drenching his shirt…he told me that he and my dil  bought it just the same day they phone me on my birthday….

After all I put him and his brother through growing up 😢…the mental anguish we went through after his dad passed away, his depression and hurt he felt afterwards and the very slow reconnection and talks….all the guilt I felt about it all….I cannot believe how blessed I am to have two of my children in my lives…when I feel I don’t deserve them….

Later this afternoon, I’m having some skin cancer removed from my upper chest area…I’m a  lot scared of needles, but then I think a lot of people are….after that a Welfare meeting, then home to rest..

I hope everyone has a good day today, sending my love, care and hugs to you all….💜🦋🤗..

Grandy..

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy,

I am just so happy for you that your son and daughter in law bought you the new washing machine. That is just wonderful! 🤗😀 That will be so much better for you now. I’m really happy knowing you have their love and support and you absolutely deserve it Grandy for being the beautiful person you are 🥰

I hope all has gone smoothly with the skin cancer op today. You might be back home by now and hopefully able to have a good rest.

Sending you big hugs 🤗💖🌸💫

ER

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

It's about time I said hello to you again!  I'm so glad your children got you a new washing machine - I'm sure they were happy to be able to help you.  That's wonderful.

I hear from friends that it's getting cold out west now - it's still like summer during the day here on the coast, but thankfully the mornings and evenings are nice and cool.

I hope the skin cancer removal went OK, it might be a bit sore for a while I guess, but good to have those things removed.

Do you have autumn colours in the trees out there by now?  I used to love the autumn best of all - autumn and eary spring with the new blossoms.

Do you still have your doggie?  How are the pets?  Best wishes for now. Rest up!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass what a lovely thing for your son & dil to do for you.  You do deserve it & I think they are blessed to have you in their lives as much as you are blessed to have them in yours.

The wait to get your shoulders fixed is ridiculous, I wonder if as it has been so long since the last injection, if the doctor might be willing to do another round, it wouldn't hurt to ask as they do give you some relief.

I hope you are resting up now after getting the skin cancer removed, it will be sore for a while, but it must be a relief to have it done.

Gentlest of hugs

Paws