Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hey bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and every lovely out there and here 🖐

Dear Grandy I’m really sorry hearing of the lovely lady that sounds like a lovely soul and yes for you feeling comfy around her that’s huge.

I think we’re still around or know what’s going on so if that’s right apart from in your heart where she’ll remain she’s close by. 

Truly very sorry for your sadness darlin 🤗 it’s so hard isn’t it 🌸

It’s good hearing you’re ok but not that you’ve been fairly down sweet friend. There has been a lot going on for you. I know at times it feels like we’ll never get back up but eventually it does happen.

It seems a lot harder to think of the good things around us or going on when we’re feeling low.

Feel the warmth and love in this hug 🤗 darlin. Anytime you need one just think about it. 

Grandy I’m not sure if I mentioned how sorry I was hearing of Betty taking over giving the prezzies out. Pfttt, pretty average aye.

I’ve been wondering have you had anymore work with that side of it, if so how’s it going?

Never forget how far you’ve come dear Grandy 😊🍫 that’s just a little reward along with your Coffee frappe I whipped up 🌪️🍷should give you a nice pump of energy. 

ok Huns I’m going to leave you with a beautiful relaxing memory of us lying on our oh so comfy piece of driftwood, floating and feeling the gentle movement of the waves rising and down we go. Ahh so good feeling the spray of water with the sea breeze cooling us off. 
Aren’t the sparkles in the water gorgeous in the cone of sunlight.

Always wishing peace for you dear friend. Love and care for you deeply. YAdimh pubAok honey. 

Hope your day at works good sweety. 

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜💭🕊️🌈🦋💗🥿🦋🦄

[Fiatlux]

mmMekitty, when you live in Melbourne, most of the country is up North. 😂🙏🏼

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How are you coping with the heat & humidity that NSW seems to have had non stop for weeks now?  I have been wondering if you tried making the lambs fry & bacon or has it been to hot to do any cooking? 

Big hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍👩, Fiatlux, mmMeKitty and everyone…🤗..

Awe Paws I’m really sorry I didn’t get back to you…yes, I did make some Lambs Fry and Bacon…it was yummy..I made it a bit thicker because I enjoy it on top of toast…Thank you so much for your yummy recipe, it will be something I’ll cook every so often….

It hit me hard my work friend passing away, the family had no funeral for her friends…just family only, made it hard not saying goodbye properly to her…Another work friend has been diagnosed with cancer as well and it’s not looking good for her either….This work friend works with us on a Saturday…now she is not well enough to do that….😢…

Not been doing much lately, I’m tired that deep soul tired, all I want to do is sleep, stay home, not go to work anymore, Idk everything seems a huge effort….but I continue to plod along at work, and continue life as I know it…hoping that one tomorrow I’ll wake up fresh and feel alive, instead of waking up tired and exhausted…and just meh 🫤…

The weather has been so hot, humid and sticky…I’m pleased that Autumn is nearly upon us, I love the way some tree leaves change colour, from green to a deep orangey brown..I don’t like the way the fur on my fur girls grows thicker and gets hard to manage 😂…I bought a new dog groomer shaver nearly a month ago and I still haven’t attempted to give them a nice haircut yet…really do need to do that very soon, Oh it’s a messy job..

I went shopping yesterday at Coles and amongst other things I bought a ten pack carton of coke, while I was trying to put it into the car and trying to stop the trolly from running away, the box fell onto the pavement…as I was picking up the scattered cans, some exploded and was fizzing foam everywhere…a Coles worker saw me and told me to wait their so he can get me some fresh wipes to clean up the sticky foamy mess on me 😁…He came back while I was still cleaning up and finding run away cans..with some wet hand wipes and another 10 pack of coke….me holding back tears from his kindness, thanked him and was so grateful, that is kindness really did make a difference to the rest of my day….I hope he knows how kind and caring he is…

Love, hugs and my caring thoughts everyone…❤️🤗🌈🦋..

👩‍❤️‍👩Grandy..

[Croix]

Dear Grandy

I've very glad you wrote about the incident of the Coke, it realy is hear-warming and shows how an act of kindness can invigorate many, myself included

Croix

[demonblaster]

Hi there Grandy love 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 & everyone 🙋‍♀️

Ah darlin it’s sad knowing you’re feeling so low lovey. Not that this’ll fix but hopefully give you some virtual comfort with this big loving long hug 🤗

It’s terribly hard knowing that people we care about deeply are going through the wringer. I really am sorry hearing of another lady you care about too with cancer. Mongrel thing it’s 
a wicked condition. I’m hopeful she’ll be well looked after and free of pain. 
Yes it makes it hard for non family as you said to say their goodbyes. 

Sweety kudos on going to work when it’s not what you want to be doing. It really does take mammoth effort pushing through as you are. I believe that’s a really good move as well as self care. As we know without distraction and focus our minds can take us to places that are so hard to cope with. I try to remind myself that in time the darkness does lighten. 

I must’ve missed Pawsy’s lambs fry post, oh it’s so yum. Funny I’ve been thinking about having some for a while now, maybe did read that after all but don’t remember the recipe so I’ll at some point read back. Hi dear Pawsy 😊
oh yeah a bit thicker on toast mmmm yummo. Good source of Iron too.

Sounds good the hair groomer. You’ll get there hun. 

Ugh what a tangle of mess and stress going through that with the coke, great drink isn’t it. Absolutely love what that bloke did for you. Wow when people show such respect and kindness it really can renew faith in people and certainly make someone’s day. 
Maybe you could email Coles and tell them. Hopefully that’d get back to him. Good fella. 

Hoping your physical healths holding at least darlin. 

Ah Grandz as you do we’ve gotta keep pushing through don’t we as hard as it is and then enjoy some light in our lives. 
Thinking always of you precious bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 that horrid weather will soon be a memory and we can enjoy better seasons. Something to look forward to. 

It’s wee hrs so best I choof to beddy byes. Hope you have a good sleep darls.

So much love and care 😊🤗🌈💭💗🦋

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to Croix & DB,

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your friend passing away & that another is so ill. It is hard when we don't get a chance to say goodbye. Perhaps, if you think it might help you, you could plant something in her memory.

I think the heat & humidity you have up your way must be contributing to you feeling meh. I find my brain turns to mush along with my energy levels when it gets humid. Worrying about your friend who is ill would add to it all too. Though saying that I've been feeling meh without any of those things.

I am so looking forward to Autumn too. It hasn't been as hot a summer here as you've had, but I will be glad to get past the high risk fire period as my area has missed most of the rain & everything is bone dry. 

I'm very glad the lambs fry turned out, it had been so long since I made it I wasn't 100% sure that I had remembered the measurements correctly. 

Hugs

Paws

[Fiatlux]

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all well.

I have been very quiet and inactive lately especially on the BB Social forums. I have been doing through so much anxiety lately mostly due to my awful narcissistic husband. I don’t feel like starting a new topic about this as it’s just so exhausting. I just wanted to share this recent experience. (He’s been hell to live with since last December and quite deliberately trying to force me to leave again)

Last year I started on HRT to help with extreme menopause symptoms. Fast forward to last week. I needed to refill my script which I always do a week before I run out. Narc husband offered to collect my script from pharmacist for me to save me a trip to the busy chemist. I asked him last night if he had my medication yet, which he had my paperwork for. He said that he would pick it up for me today. This morning he telephoned me and asked me “how badly do you need the HRT” I was shocked that he would ask that. It’s my life support at the moment. He was deliberately withholding my medication as a bargaining tactic. A rather nasty and cruel and sickening tactic.

A few weeks earlier he asked me for the address of a former client. I asked him why he needed to know this. He quite frankly confirmed that the client’s former husband had asked him for it. I am shocked that he would breach the client’s confidentiality by informing a former husband about her private address details. Now these people have older children together and I just refused to divulge that information. I flatly refused to provide this information to a former husband. I told narc husband that I would never ever do this. It’s highly unethical. I told that the former husband could just ask his children for the address. If he’s entitled to know that information it can come from other sources. I was alarmed that narc husband would do this. Narc husband called me a nasty f****** bitch as I stood up to him and refused his request.

This Morning I was riddled with anxiety and despair. Turns out the pharmacist that was to fill my script is the former husband of my former client. I felt sick to the stomach about it. 

I told narc husband to return my script to me immediately or I will take the matter further. How dare these two vile people be allowed to do this. I don’t what to do next. Narc husband handed me my filled prescription and I informed him that I will report the matter to authorities if they ever try something like this again. Husband again told me that I was being a nasty bitch. 

I am dumbfounded. How can a person stoop so low. I know that if ever I was on life support my narc husband would cut off my oxygen. I feel so unsafe in this situation. He’s beyond crazy now.

I feel that I need to share this for my own safety. Thank you 🙏🏼 Fiatlux 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Fiatlux,

I am so sorry you have just had to deal with this awful situation. You have done absolutely the right thing by not breaching client confidentiality and it is manipulative to behave as your husband is doing. How he spoke to you is completely unacceptable. I am thinking calling 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 may be the best first port of call to get some advice on handling the situation. I cannot remember if you've said if you've phoned them before, but I just think they seem the right people to help, especially if you are feeling unsafe.

It may also help to ground yourself as something like that can really spike the anxiety. Is there somewhere that helps you to feel more safe right now? Even somewhere like a favourite cafe that is familiar and you can kind of decompress. Or perhaps the place of a trusted friend you know you can safely speak with and be with?

Sending you much support 🙏

ER

[quirkywords]

fiatlux

so sorry to hear how your husband I’d treating you.

There is help available.

Have you decided what you want to do. 
Do you have  someone you can confide in.?