Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[quirkywords]

A big smile and king thoughts to everyone. 

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, Fiatlux, wave to everyone,

Grandy I'm so pleased you showed your spot to your Dr & that she will be removing it for you. More of us need to be equally proactive with our health (especially me). You do set a wonderful example with this, as you do with everything, especially your kindness.

Big hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hello Grandy & everyone

Keep an eye on that melanoma - any changes, let them know immediately.

When you go to have it removed, the needles won't be as painful as the injections you had in your shoulder. I promise.

*

You said one thing I so very much agree with: every child needs to know their parents love them, no matter, even when they treat them poorly. I've seen how a child's capacity for love is so great, they accept so much, it hurts to see it happening. Without that, though, what would that child have?

Hello DB & Quirky.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Hi dear Grandy and All,

So glad you trusted your instincts Grandy and got the spot looked at again. Hope you can get someone to drive you to the day clinic, even though it's not a major procedure, just so you don't have to think about driving as well. It's nice to be looked after and you deserve it for all the lovely support you give others. They are getting better and better at removing skin cancers these days so it should be very efficient.

Love and hugs to everyone 🤗💕🌸

[Fiatlux]

Good evening Dear friends,

I hope you’ve had a good day this January 26th. I have settled in to watch the tennis tonight.

I spent most of the day cooking which is always rewarding at the end of the day. My son dropped by again for dinner before heading in to work a night shift. He was pleased with the dinner choices. Had a serving of each pasta dish I had prepared and took a serving of each to work for the next couple of nights. He wasn’t too impressed with my boozy trifle dessert. He had some but declined to take any away with him. Maybe I overdid the amaretto liquor. It does pack a punch. I wasn’t thinking that my son doesn’t drink and especially not when he’s heading into work. 

I did receive a pleasant surprise today from my daughter. She has had quite a lot of snow this week so she and her husband went out to take some photos and videos. They had deer wandering around their yard. They followed the deer prints in the snow and found a mother and baby which they filmed from a distance. Deer can be a hazard on the roads and it is taking them twice as long to drive to and from work.

So my oldest son also confirmed that he will be taking a few weeks leave this October to visit his sister in the USA. Lucky him. I so wish that I could just take off and join him on the visit or to visit my daughter at all. My son has been before while studying at University in Washington DC. I suppose that I should get a passport to get the ball rolling.

I have never had any ambition to travel overseas, maybe to see New Zealand but I definitely want to visit my baby girl. This is a trip I could easily do on my own. I have very little to look forward to here. It really has been difficult not having her nearby. March will be 4 years since her last visit home. Time flying by so quickly.

It’s her birthday in March and I have ordered a beautiful personalised photo album for her. She asked me if I could send some photos to her so I have planned to put her photos together in a beautiful album. She isn’t expecting this so it will be a good project for me over the next month. I have thousands of photos of the children that are not in albums yet. Sorting through them is always bittersweet. I see them so happy and carefree together. They are really close in age. I had 3 in 3 years and they were so close. My daughter is so photogenic that I don’t have any bad photos of her. Just as cute as a button. 

Have a good night everyone, I don’t think the tennis is finishing early. Peace and love to you all. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[demonblaster]

Hey there our Grandy and all our lovelies too 🖐

Yikes sweety there’s some stuff going on in your neck f the woods isn’t there. 
I was going to say the same, good on ya Kitty lovey that the needles will be easier than the ones for your shoulder and this way no pain when she removes it.
Let’s hope it’s not a melanoma darlin 😞

Agreed with our Pawsy hi darl 😊 that it’s great you’ve been keeping an eye on it. March isn’t far off. Good the sooner it’s gone the better. 

Huge ouchy ahh darlin that would’ve hurt like a beast with your back. That’d be hard trying to move a big I imagine heavy trolly. Good news you’re coming better. Terrible pain when a nerves been aggravated isn’t it. Poor love.

Darl thanks for what you said about replying here at mine or any thread. Really appreciate what you sad. Mean it hun thanks 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and absolutely blown away you saying about the broach on your slipper 😂 can’t believe I was recently smiling with love about that. Talk about tuned in to each other. Wow! how funny aye. Still am smiling. Just had this vision and it looks so gorgeous on your slipper. God I love you Grandy 💜🦋💭

I read this a couple days ago. Really did mean to come sooner but in thoughts absolute constant.

Grandy not perfect but it is good hearing the shoulders are holding at about 80%. Boy that’d be heaven to what you’ve gone through. Please darlin be as careful as you can. Maybe soonish you’ll be able to have more for them. 

Sweet how’s your mh going? I so often wonder and hope it’s giving you some peace. You’re such a strong determined lady. Good on you dear girl. You’re so loved and appreciated. 

I’ve come up with a few scenarios for your Xmas prezzy just gotta polish it all up so Deendy can take it to you or at least help you open it my gorgeous friend.

PubAok sweetyheart you mean the world to me and I know to many others too precious. 

Love stays and grows 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💭🌈🍫🎁☀️🕊️🦋 

Good wishes to all the lovelies here and reading too 🖐😊🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, mmMeKitty, Quirky, Deebi👩‍❤️‍👩, Eagle Ray, Fiatlux and everyone….🤗..

Thank you for your posts, since the crust has fallen off their is just a red dry spot, I will keep an eye on it…it’s on my chest a couple of inches below my neck….March will be here before we know it, the year is going really fast…

One of my work colleagues passed away Wednesday of last week, she was a beautiful lady, who helped me when I first started at the charity shop….and made me feel comfortable around her, the first person i felt at ease with in a long time…..she left work a couple of years ago,  due to cancer, my friend Betty* and I visited her and her husband occasionally….I’m going to miss her so much😢…We know don’t we, try to prepare ourselves but it’s still an unexpected shock when it happen…. 

My shoulders are workable and I’m grateful for the amount of movement I have in them now…Praying that i don’t damage them again…my mental health Deebi👩‍❤️‍👩…. okay I guess, a lot has happened the past couple of weeks that has made me feel a lot of sadness….I can’t seem to climb out off…in saying that I’m okay though…😊..

You’re such a beautiful mother Fiatlux…I love cooking for family and friends…but not for me..

Love, hugs and care everyone…💜🤗🦋.

👩‍❤️‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hello Grandy & everyone

Your work colleague, who died last Wednesday, was an important person in your life. someone you felt at ease with, which I know doesn't happen often for you .. it's so sad to hear of her passing. I'm sure you have missed her in the shop, & will miss going to visit her, too

*

Almost February - the short month... already!

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Fiatlux]

Hi Lovelies, 

Hope you’re doing well today and survived the long weekend. 

Grandy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss with the passing of your friend. When my father passed away I had a deep soul search, especially when people would say things like, it’s hard to lose a loved one. I would always correct them and say, it’s harder loosing someone who loved you. That’s how I felt at that time and it still hurts loosing my father. He was such a good dad and person. Thank you for the compliment. I try to be a positive influence on my children.

My husband walked in when my son and I had almost finished dinner last Friday and he seemed agitated that we had eaten without him. I ignored his bad mood and carried on my conversation with my son. I try very hard to be civil towards him especially in the presence of my son. Husband and I very rarely speak or eat together. He eats later than I like to and he eats more frequently. I stopped trying to cater for him or work in with him. He often complains that I don’t have dinner with him and I tell him that he simply is never home at dinner time and I don’t like to eat late.

mmMekitty, I was a little worried about you especially with the wild weather conditions up north. It’s such a beautiful part of the country and the world for that matter, but Mother Nature reminds us of who is really in charge when she lets loose. We haven’t had anything like a cyclone down in Melbourne. We had a couple of teeny tiny earth tremors in the last few years but no damage.

Please take care of yourselves, lovely BB friends. See on the BB Socials… Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[mmMekitty]

Hi Grandy, Fiatlux, DB & everyone,

Thanks for showing concern for me. I don't live up north. I am fine where I am.

Today, as if to make the BOM look foolish, we didn't get any rain until now, very near midnight, (my time, not yours). However they are still forecasting quite a lot of rain for tomorrow.

When the weather looks like being very wet, I wonder at what point do I decide to not have my support worker driving around for me? How much rain is 'bad enough'?

*

Take care, everyone. Happy dreams.

Hugzies

mmMekitty