Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hi sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all 🖐

Ahh darlin you’ve had a really hard time of it lately you poor soul that must have been quite a rough time with no way of sorting out the tyre. Poor love and feeling so upset about what’s been going on has been eating at you for a while now.

How good was that the cops being there what a relief and yes I too am glad they got you to go in the ambo. You poor darling. It gets too much at times doesn’t it and amongst other problems we know how incredibly low BP drags us down. I don’t know if you’re in poor mh that way but even without that you had reason to be upset. 

Yip I was pretty impressed you telling Betty not to say about the goings on. 
I think the best you can do there is settle with knowing you’re doing the right thing hun.

I’d feel that way too about talking to the bosses and you’re on good terms with them it just doesn’t sit right does it.
Let them sort it hun as mentioned you’re a volunteer too. 

Your conscience is clear and you work hard for them. That’s more than enough I reckon sweetyheart. I do hear and understand where you’re at though but you need peace of mind sweety. Hard eh.

Good thinking about Centrelink Kits that could be a big help hun. 

Oh darlin come here 🤗 this is a big long loving hug. It shouldn’t be this hard eh darl. Yes keep that in mind and it’s true this will pass and no sadly never quick enough is it but It’ll be easier soon. 

Im glad the police contacted Well ways. Hopefully they might realise you’re still in need of help. 

I hope you got some decent sleep Grandy love esp after that release which often can be a good unload although very hard to go through and exhausting with luck some tension and the meds allowed you better resting. 

Ok howzabout a lovely hot cuppa and we have a good chat and a stack of laughs on the veranda with the gorgeous stars. 
Grandy I forgot to mention how sorry I was hearing he took the lovely cows away. What a shame. I felt sad hearing that. Let’s hope it’s not too far off that they return.

Grandy love keep thinking of the good things sweety, too many hard thoughts make our mood that way. 

Hold in there dear friend 🤝 we are 💪 enough. 

Always love dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🌈 

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I'd agree with DB here - you're not talking about thousands or millions of dollars being deliberately defrauded from a company - just a group of elderly ladies who are maybe a bit careless.  I hope you are recovering from your roadside adventure (!!!!) and are managing to enjoy the sunshine today.  Rest up and recover and go back and enjoy your two days at the store next week.... big hugs from us here oxoxoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello, Hanna, Paws, ecomama, mmMeKitty,Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 …

I have been reading all your supportive posts..,..

I am much better today and yesterday as well…,my review went well…thank goodness the mh  nurse was the one I had seen before…and she wants to see me next month to just check I’m doing okay…I have been holding myself together for a few weeks now…and in a way I think that meltdown has helped me….I am feeling more relaxed and calmer then I have done for a while now….The police were very caring…they often patrol the road I take into town because it’s 100 kilometres per hour and with many straight areas…the young kids like to test the speed of their cars out….I have see so many cars that have gone over the embankment or rolled…It’s a very narrow, two lane tar road, no guttering, long drops over some of the edges and trees growing very close to the road….

Spent a few hours at Betty’s today as it’s her 81st birthday…Her son and dil arrived mid afternoon and we all had some cake and chats before I went home….

I am a happy and kind person around and with my work colleagues and don’t cause them any stress or drama at all….I hide my depression and anxiety very well most days at work…and the workers are unaware of my mh…..except for Betty…and my previous boss, who comes in for welfare on Mondays….Just feel guilty about what’s happening….tried to not let it bother me…but I can’t change what I feel…..I agree mmMeKitty..it’s hard to pretend it’s not happening…

 Deebi, I am on my own….Wellways has a lot of participants waiting to get in….and I’m off the program for good….which is okay…I can do life on my own….

I will pop over and check on you Deebi….Hope your Dr’s visit went well….big hugs and love with lots of caring thoughts…dear bbff…💙♥️🦋🧸🤗…

Sending my love, care and hugs to everyone…♥️🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…🕊🌱🌿🌴..

[mmMekitty]

Hi Grandy,

"Happy Birthday to  Betty"🎵. I am happy you have your friendship with Betty, & spent time with her & her son & DIL.

I don't knoe how many times I think I' can't cope, won'tbe able to get through some difficulty, & then do. I know I will manage better thatn I think - time & time again, I think I won't.

😸 Here we are. We all have gone through so much.

Knowing how much I've gone through, is what I have to keep in mind, whenever some new problem comes my way.

What do you think of my approach?

Hugzies? ❤️

mmMekitty

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

I'm hoping you now have your car back lass... 

I can't remember where I read about it, but I love how your terrarium turned out... it sounds very picturesque... I wish I could see it in r/l.

How is Peppa settling... has she stopped redecorating your house when you go out? Woofa used to remake my bed into a comfy mess whenever he decided to sleep on it during the day... for the last couple of months he has been remaking it to his liking & then walking away to sleep elsewhere... I'm doing a few grrrr's under my breath...

Big hugs lass

Paws

[ecomama]

Hey Grandy, hello lovelies! 

You're such a Champion Grandy.
I loved reading you say "I can do life on my own". Indeed you can, because you are in such empowering ways! 

IDK Grandy but have you taken a moment or a whole day to think about JUST how far you've come in your healing journey? 
You are ROCKING this! 

Yes how did the car repairs go? 
It's comforting to know the Police patrol that area of road regularly. Thank God really! 

You managed that whole situation really well. I'm so proud of you. 

Yes! How was Betty's party? Did you eat lots of CAKE? Lol. 

Aren't pets so precious lol... I can't walk anywhere in our home without having to stoop down and pick up FLUFF our poodle extracted from his current stuffed toy. He's so particular about the FEEL of the toy or blanket he prefers lol... such a poodle. 
He looks like a woolly black sheep atm hahaha... he's booked in for his regular grooming appt his Sat. I tried using the Return and Earn container money to save up for it... got about half the cost but that's some thing! 
Sat afternoon he'll prance around, showing off his new "hairdo". Thankfully this groomer doesn't put his hair in a top pony tail with a bow lol. 
She's very thorough, though, which helps deter the vet's bills. 

Take care Grandy and all the lovely friends here
Love EMxxxx

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all other lovelies 🖐

Yes it sure was hearing you say you can do life on your own. It gets extremely hard at times doesn’t it but it’s true we always somehow do get through and look back on those times thanks to time not stopping. Pretty incredible really isn’t it that right never stops.

It really is good hearing you’re feeling better and calmer is fantastic. We need breaks after the hard times eh. Like breathing time and catching up. 

Oh so do you have the uh oh now can’t think of the name of the lovely you were working on with the plants and things inside it sounds so lovely hun, must have been nice doing it. 

Sweetyheart how’s your general health holding up esp your poor Golden heart and ouches bursitis? Oh and do you have any word on your kidney? 
Oh nifty dunno how but I highlighted sweetyheart from the keyboard. I know…pretty impressive eh. 

Grandy love you know you’re in my 💭 24/7 . Have to choose tell ya later at mine Huns. 

Huge love always dearest buff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🌈🦋🫧there’s some bubbles cute eh. 

Take good care of my precious …that’s you sweety xx

[Ggrand]

Hello,  mmMeKitty, Paws, ecomama, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone….🤗..

Thank you for your posts….

I got my car on Tuesday….and am feeling relieved about that..it’s my escape when I need it…

Monday and Tuesday this week as better…I told Betty that if she goes out the back of the shop…that what she their…stays their….Our job is serving the customers,  their job is to sort the donations…..worked okay….I took a cake in on Monday so the other girls could celebrate Betty’s birthday….

MmMeKitty, your right…we think we can’t get through something difficult in life, but end up getting their….sometimes I wonder how we survive the dreaded black dog….

EC….talking about our precious fur babies…one of mine has completely ruptured her Cranial Cruciate Ligaments, her knee cannot be put back in….and surgery is the only option she has, to end the pain and be able to walk on all 4 feet…poor little Ebony my heart aches for her….I can see in her eyes, the pain she’s in…..I applied for VetPay and they will loan me $2,000.00…I need to find another $1,000.00 before they will operate….looks like 2 minute noodles for a month or so😁….hopefully I can save that much and she can have the operation end of next month….😢….It’s really hard to stop her from running around, which she does on 3 legs…she doesn’t want to miss out…telling the passer bye’s that you stay away from my home…

Deebi…the terrarium looks nice…I’ve place it in my lounge room…it gets the early morning sun…General health is okay…struggling a bit with my back pain….no news from my Dr about Kidneys…no news is good news we’re tests are concerned…..my heart is going into ectopics more then it usually does…..I try not to worry about that though….it is what it is…..

Deebi, how are you going with your nasty growth…..I have done a crash course on removing them….and will be assisting the surgeon by holding 🤝 your hand….of course I’ll have one 👁 eye on the surgeon to make sure they are doing a top job…🧖…I do look good in the Drs get up…what do you think? 😁…Much love I have for you…always and forever your in my heart and thoughts…💙🦋🌹☘️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤝…🧸🤗

I hope everyone is doing better then okay…and being kind and gentle to yourselves, sending my love, my care and hugs..♥️🦋🤗..

Grandy..🕊🌱🌿🌴..

[ecomama]

Heavens your poor little Ebony. Praying for answers for the Vet's bills. 

Are there places that give free food packages in your area? 
Churches do here. 
Our Church throws food away when it's not taken and that's just crazy. 

Perhaps there's a way to get them while you save for the Vet? 

I found a lovely lady on YouTube called "Mary's Simple Cottage Life"... sure she lives in Texas but I'm very used to American accents now due to BF and his entire famiy.
She loves her fur babies and the little community of ladies living on their own, taking care of their gardens and dealing with issues like Vet's bills etc makes me feel less alone as I'm watching her and reading the comments. 

You have us. We can't help financially but we're always here, 
Love EMxxxx

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all other lovelies 😊

Dear Ebony oh sweety that’d be so hard seeing the love in so much pain and boy that does sound nasty. 
Good you can get the loan it’s a shame they don’t let you pay the rest off. 
How gorgeous her not wanting to miss out on the runs the dear thing. 

😂 Oh I loved your training geez your vast certificates must take up every wall…oh that could be a groovy new wallpaper hun. My my you really are very impressive dear Grandy. You’re a classic 😂

Darl is there anything they can do to improve the extra heart beats? I remember they upped the meds a while back. I imagine it wouldn’t be much chop. Tiring too?

Oh good hearing you have your car back hun. Yes it’s freedom. Bet that’s a relief. Glad for you sweety. 

Terrarium that’s it and I’d not long read that from Pawsy I think 😆 it does sound lovely. Well done darl it’d be a nice achievement too.

Yes that could be a good thing not hearing about the kidney. Not good the back though. They’re hard work aren’t they. 

My icky will be gone at the end of this mth or close to. Blaghh horrid thing.

ok beautiful friend I hope you’re still feeling brighter lovely friend 😊

I know our beautiful friendship gives me so much comfort and security dear lady 🤗 pubAok Grandy love yAdimh. Take good care darlin and everyone too 🌸

Leaving a Gordy 🌈 for your lovely Terrerium. 

Always deep love and 💭 beautiful 🎀💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩