Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Hanna3]

Hi again Grandy

I understand that you are very conscientious but I honestly think you do need to worry less about these things at the store.

You need to go there and feel useful and enjoy the company and talking with the customers.

You do a bit of good by helping the charity and the customers.

It's important for you to get out for these two days each week.

You are going to have to choose between worrying about the other volunteers until you are making yourself sick, or you realise that you can't change them, and you just do your best, enjoy your time at the store, and stop worrying so much.

I know some people encourage you to get angry or upset, but I don't agree I'm afraid. I think you need to understand that the store isn't going to be run or managed perfectly.

You can continue to make yourself sick and upset with worry or decide not to worry so much.

Or you can leave and stay home all the time.

You are not going to change the other ladies.

I would keep going to the store and worry less,but the choice is yours dear Grandy.

You know I hope you stay at the store and just stop worrying so much! Over to you. 💞

[Hanna3]

Grandy I agree with what EM said. Just make the other volunteers feel they can be friendly with you and just enjoy your time at the store. You can't fix everything. OK?

I'm a bit worried about Paws, she hasn't been on BB for a while now.

Cheers. 

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone,

I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression….and for judging others in the shop…I didn’t mean to do that….

We all enjoy each other’s company very much and do have some great times together…This week we are putting on a small party for Betty* because she turns 81 this week…..We do this when it’s someone’s birthday…..We are all friends and get along great on those two days…

When the girls purchase things from work…When they ask how much?…I tell them whatever their happy paying….

I’m getting confused now and I’m starting to feel trapped in a situation that is so easy to walk away from….yet so hard…

Hugs,

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy it's awkward on my phone and I don't think I worded my last comment well.

I know you're a lovely person! I just don't want to see you fretting over the store and I don't want you to give up and just stay home. I was trying to say it's all not such a big deal - please try not to worry about it so much.

Sometimes I come across odd prices at the Vinnies here - I just take it to the desk and the ladies there fix it up!

I'm sure we all just want to see you enjoy the time at the store and you want it to be a happy place for everyone.

The other op shop I go to here has such happy staff, it's a joy to walk in there. They have a few older men there too, they help break up the women, and some young people. It must be a fun place to volunteer.

I just think my 90 year old friend was pretty sensible - she just chucked and said, all you do is tell the other supervisor you've told them what you want them to do and they don't do it.

I think you sometime might worry too much dear Grandy. It's not that important to get yourself upset about. To your credit you try very hard to do everything very well, but other people don't always worry about this so much.

Keep the store a happy place for the staff and customers, you'll be fine! 😊

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I'm sorry I have been out all day and hoped someone else might have responded to you as I don't seem to be helping you. 

I am afraid I don't understand what solution you need - you said it upsets you that the volunteers don't do what you ask them to - and it comes back to bite you somehow. 

You could ask them to please follow your instructions as otherwise it comes back to bite you (I don't know if you mean this gets you into trouble somehow - as a volunteer you can't be told off...)

Or you don't ask them to do this, or they still don't do it, and then you have to decide if you want to - maybe speak to a supervisor.... or you just find a way not to worry about it anymore as you have done your best - or you leave, and then you will be lonely and unhappy.

Personally I would ask them again, and then shrug it off and continue and not worry - if some clothes go to someone overseas by mistake, then the people overseas get some good clothes!

I'm sorry you're so distressed, but I don't understand what the problem is?  This is all I can suggest.  You are not paid by the charity, they get you and all the other volunteers for free.  You don't owe the charity anything.  All you can do is do your best and that's enough.

Maybe someone else will come by with an idea- I'm sorry I have been unable to help you.  Best of luck Grandy, I'm sorry I can't see a problem here that has caused you such worry and anxiety? 

[ecomama]

Hey Grandy

What are you getting confused about? only if you'd like to share of course. 

I was so happy to read you're all friends at work and put on parties for special times. How lovely! 

I'm enjoying YouTube channels on exploring old abandoned Castles and towns, it's amazing to see how people probably lived in times gone by. 

Thank goodness for the internet lol. 

Love EMxxxx

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you (I've been laid up with a migraine)... 

I wish I could come to yours & sit with you at your kitchen table with a big pot of tea & some yummy freshly made, warm chocolate cup cakes & just be there for you... I will have to do it virtually... at least that way we can eat as many cakes as we wish (no calories)

Lass I know how hard it can be to get people to properly do what is asked of them in paid work... I would think in a volunteer situation it would be next to impossible... even when the reasons are explained to them... please lass try & see that it is not a reflection of you... nor do they mean to make you feel unheard or unvalued... it is simply that some people are good at following instructions & some people aren't... clearly the other ladies who volunteer there are in the second group...

If it is upsetting you so much that you are thinking of leaving, could you perhaps try & remember that the other ladies are grown adults... you have asked them to do certain things... it is up to them to be responsible enough to do those things... their failures are not yours... you have done your part by telling them what is required...

your boss* always has the option of putting someone else in charge if he don't like how things are going.

I would be worried for you if you left... I really get the impression that you need time away from your house & a chance to be with other people... it's hard that there aren't more things in your area you could volunteer for... I wonder if there might be openings doing meals on wheels or listening to primary school kids practice their reading... would you think you might enjoy doing things like that.

Giving you big huggily hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Grandy

I  o lunteer in a similar shop but it is much larger with many volunreers. 

[Hanna3]

I think they are probably just forgetful.

They probably get busy and get chatting and just forget!

Good to see you back Paws.

Grandy I do hope you keep going to the store! 🙂🐩👍

[quirkywords]

Oops I try to edit a typo then my post gets sent early, anyone know why. 
i was trying to say I know what is like with pricing and having guidelines. 
the people I volunteer  are so helpful but it can be confusing when guidelines are changed.

Celebrating birthdays is a supportive thing to do. 
Grandy you are Very kind compassionate person and you help so many people.