Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Welcome home... well done getting past your anxiety & managing to set off... that is a biggie you should be very proud of...

Settle in & rest up after a long day...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy, waves to mmMekitty, Deebi, Paws, everyone,

How are you settling in back home dear lady? Do you get any of the lovely Autumn colours in the trees there? Have you been back to the store, I've lost track of when you got back and when you were next going to work... anyway I hope you have managed to have a pleasant Easter, and that you got some chocolate!

Big hugs oxoxoxox

[demonblaster]

Hiya Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies. 👋 Hi Hannah☺

Darlin Grandy geez the power in feeling our rotten thoughts can be paralyzing as you well know. The fears so intense. I'm so glad you didn't drive then.
I hope it eased off for the next day.

I'm making progress hun thinking past the first thoughts and just remembering again from 'Mindspot' to ask ourselves is it likely to happen. I like that because its a way of listening to our rational thoughts. They're still there. Just beasty being so damned domineering.
Never forget Grandz it's in us to take control. We're learning.
Apart from that being true if we don't believe it it's probs not going to happen.

Darls good you had quality time with loved ones.
Yip homes our own space isn't it with routines and safety.

I often think and smile about y/our gorjy furs runnnng around the house 😆 I have a lovely vision of your place where the rooms are kitchen and oh yeah our veranda ✨. Hun when I look at the stars I always think of you well that's amongst the 68,734 other thoughts of you in an hour 😄

Hope your day has plenty of comforting warmth sun and every one has enormous love respect and appreciation.

Love from your besty as you are always dear friend 👩‍❤️‍👩💜✨🗯💫⚘

[demonblaster]

Hiya Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies. 👋 Hi Hannah☺

Darlin Grandy geez the power in feeling our rotten thoughts can be paralyzing as you well know. The fears so intense. I'm so glad you didn't drive then.
I hope it eased off for the next day.

I'm making progress hun thinking past the first thoughts and just remembering again from 'Mindspot' to ask ourselves is it likely to happen. I like that because its a way of listening to our rational thoughts. They're still there. Just beasty being so damned domineering.
Never forget Grandz it's in us to take control. We're learning.
Apart from that being true if we don't believe it it's probs not going to happen.

Darls good you had quality time with loved ones.
Yip homes our own space isn't it with routines and safety.

I often think and smile about y/our gorjy furs runnnng around the house 😆 I have a lovely vision of your place where the rooms are kitchen and oh yeah our veranda ✨. Hun when I look at the stars I always think of you well that's amongst the 68,734 other thoughts of you in an hour 😄

Hope your day has plenty of comforting warmth sun and every one has enormous love respect and appreciation.

Deepest love from your besty as you are always dear friend 👩‍❤️‍👩💜✨🗯💫⚘

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...🤗..

Thank you for your posts...

I am happy I’m home now...been home since Thursday....mowed my lawns on Friday...went to work on a Tuesday....and that’s it...

It’s hard to visit my youngest son’s home...We (late husband) sold him our house (the one my son lives in) when it was decided that we move to country NSW....That house is one major trigger for me...because of all the physical/emotional/sexual abuse I had to endure within those 4 walls....yeah...so it’s really hard and mentally takes a lot out of me....I try hard to be happy, look happy, talk happy, while I’m there, trying to put my beautiful son and his family ahead of my triggers....

The past couple of days...I’ve been sick with a migraine complete with vomiting fits and light sensitivity....it’s been 2 days...the stomach has settled down, but my head feels like it’s splitting in 2 with every cough or moving the wrong way...otc meds not working and that’s all I got for now..

I did get choccies from my children and grandchildren...but to sick to eat them.....also my dil bought me a paint by numbers....the picture is of sunflowers all bunched up together....Looks beautiful but I think way to hard for me to even attempt...

I wish I could sleep a few days straight and wake with a clear non hurting head...and body..

Think I’ll try to get up and make a cuppa tea now...then go back to bed...

Always Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...deepest love back to you sweet bbff..💙 a sapphire blue heart for you dear friend...I know you love sapphires....and some caring hugs...🤗🤗🤗.🕊🌱🌿🌳..

My love, care and hugs to everyone...you’re all beautiful and special friends....💜💚🌹🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I've never found otc meds any use when I've had a migraine... I know it can be hard lass... but do try to keep your fluids up... especially as you are vomiting... do you find that keeping something cold on your head helps... if you have a cool mat for your furs pop that in your pillow case or try putting a damp tea towel in the freezer for a bit then lay it across your pillow...

I hope you are feeling better soon

Hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey there beautiful Grandy 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩

Oh darlin that sounds terrible you poor thing.

Just here quickly I got up for a nature call and checked in. How awful for you with the head and so much to deal with being at your sons. You dear lady.

Geez you're in such a bad way. Good on our dear Pawsy suggesting ways of getting through. I dearly hope you're able to get some sleep.

Giving you a good warming 🤗 and so much love sweety girl.

Always love and thoughts 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯✨💫🤕⚘

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone.....🤗.

Thank you for your posts...

Paws, yes I do keep a bucket and a face washer next to my bed, so I can refresh the face washer in cool water...it does help a little, thank you so much for suggesting that....

Deebi, I doubled up with my anxiety/sleepers for 2 nights...(my Dr. says that’s okay if I need to)...and slept a few hours each night...before waking up with the pain both from my head and my ribs/back...

Today...I have woken up..with just a dull headache, but if I cough that sharp pain covers my head...thank goodness it soon fades and I’m left again with the dull headache pain....I don’t know what it is about the colder months...that’s the times I get these debilitating migraines...not often but even once is enough...

Yes It’s really hard at my young son’s place....My husband sold it to him for well under half the value....with a caveat agreement for the rest of the value.....Now hubby has passed away...I took the caveat agreement off the house a few months after my husband’s passing, because... I know manipulation was involved when my hubby sold my son the house....If my son didn’t pay the caveat each fortnight, he would forfeit the house....and I know without a doubt that my late hubby...would have carried through and took the house off him...many times he couldn’t pay....and I had to hide that from hubby....hiding statements when they were posted.....I know I was wrong to hide the statements from him.....but my late husband always had a plan to benefit himself....if he had a way too....I wanted my son to feel safe for once in his life...and not worry about loosing the house...he so very much deserved it...after the life he had growing up....

Its raining here today....I love the rain...I can leave open my front door in peace....knowing no one will be walking around in this weather....

I am going to have some toast this morning....first meal in a couple of days...my stomach really is protesting about being empty...it sounds like some distant thunder...rumbling across the mountains...maybe I could record the noise and use it for background music in our band bbff?...😁...big love always to you beautiful bbff...💙🦋🧸🤗🌹🕊🌱..with some hugs 🤗...

I hope everyone has a good day today...my care, love and hugs to you all...🦋💜🧸..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱🌿🌳...

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to everyone,

I hope you are fully over your migraine lass... I know it can take some days after to feel fully right again... it must be hard not knowing what it is that triggers them for you... did you eat anything in the preceding days that you don't usually eat... my migraines were mostly hormonal, but I had a friend who would get them if she ate too much cheese or if she ate dark chocolate... yes this is just me with my mother hens hat on... I'm sure you have already tried to pin down what causes them.

I am so very proud of you having the strength to even simply think of going to your younger son's place... let alone actually managing to go & stay for a bit... you should be very proud of yourself lass... it has so many bad memories associated with it yet you still managed... I hope with time whenever your mind tries to take you back you will be able to counter it by remembering all of these happier times there with your grandkids...

I hope work was ok today with just you & Betty there...

Huggily hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy 🐾 and everyone ☺

I'm reading beautiful always watching over you dear friend.

Seeing the ortho surgeon tomoz so I'll bbl to post and talk to you here.

Same with you Grandy its always a pleasure reading your posts Ms Pawsy you're a great asset here and very appreciated as you are too blossom.

Love you both very much.

Always thoughts my gorjy 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦄✨

Same goes for you Croixy man 🐧 you have such wisdom and a real knack with expressing yourself. Amazing peeps here ⚘

Sleep well lovely ones 😴

Nigh nite sweetyheart I too hope your 🤕 heads settled how awful. Huge love and appreciation always 🍫⚘✨🌞