Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

I'm so glad you got your booster... I had to chuckle at your logic that as your arm was sore anyway so you would do the mowing so the rest of you would be sore too... that is the daft sort of thing I would do... glad to see it's not just me... did you end up using the bark you collected as mulch?

How wonderful having a doctor who cares enough about you to be concerned at you cancelling appointments... though I do agree appointments every 3 weeks seems a bit too close... there may be an important reason for it... but I think she should explain why she wants them so close...

Have you heard from your brother when he thinks he might be able to come to yours?

How was work this week lass?... I'm keeping everything crossed for you that the other ladies go back to being nice soon...

Are you managing to spend time on your verandah enjoying nature?... I'm missing seeing all the wildlife that used to use my neighbours dam now he has filled it in... I do still have the small birds using my bird bath that I can watch... I'm pondering whether it would work to make a bigger one for the larger birds or even to make a small pond the wildlife could use... it would have to be in the front yard so Woofa wouldn't chase everything away.

Woofa sends snuffles & hugs from me

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone....

Thank you Hanna, yes my arm feels better now...after a couple of days it was back to normal...

I was thinking the same about the ladies at work...Silly really, because them not being on the committee, means it will never happen...

Betty has been sick this past week, spent a couple of days in hospital with bronchitis, she is back home now although still quite unwell...improving daily...I visit her daily with some dinner I cook for her and then keep her company for a few hours....

I worked Monday on my own in the shop...with 3 girls outback sorting...Then on Tuesday the days co-ordinator had to work the shop herself, because I was the only one out back....She had no time to be mean and bossy...It’s very busy out front on your own...everytime I heard her coming out back....I took off to the ladies room....

It would be so very easy to not go to my volunteer job...I know I need it, and I’m trying hard to keep going to it...Thank you Hanna, for what you said...yes I do need to think about what might happen if I leave....

So pleased that daylight saving has finished...I like it gets dark earlier...I feel calmer when it’s dark...

I hope everyone is doing better then okay, and enjoying this cooler weather....which is so much better for sleeping...

Deebi...I hope your okay dear bbff....sending some SSS love 💕, big hugs 🧸🤗 and kind thoughts to you....24/7..💭🕊🌱🦄👼.

My love, care and hugs to everyone...💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Croix]

Dear Grandy, wiht a wave to all~

I'm glad your arms are better, it can be a bit unsettling before you go, now it's over and you are back in form. I was hte same.

I think you doctor must be pretty good to be that concerned about you, may I ask why you think 3 weeks is to short a period? I see my psych regularly, in fact the bookings are made well in advance, so sometimes I'm not really ready and dong fine, other times I"m more than looking forward ot the appointment. It depends on me and what's been happening.

Would you doctor consider a longer period between visits?

When people are a pain at work it's always tempting to simply leave, however the hard part is totaling up the benefits vs the problems. When hurt or angry it skews my thinking and I realy have to pause and take more accurate stock of things.

It sounds like being out the front by yourself was pretty good. I guses you would miss it all in the long term, a house, even with furry freinds, can be too small a world.

Croix

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy (and hi to Deebi, Croix and all)

I replied briefly on my thread dear lto Paws & yu dear lady - having signal problems, perhaps it's the weather... nice of you to care for your friend when she is sick... keep warm! hugs.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Croix, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...

Thank you Croix...I understand my Drs 3 weekly appointments..I have a number of marks on my arms..that should not be their....It happens sometimes in the times... I get highly anxious....without knowing it I’m causing these marks....Sometimes in my sleep as well....My Dr. gets concerned about them and me....I have destroyed so many stress balls and fidget spinners....I think my Dr. thinks it will escalate like before....I tried to assure her that it won’t and that I’m okay....

I have lived in my small little world (house) over a period of many months...it was okay at first...then fear takes over that outside the front door is not safe to be....so I then don’t want to go outside....I really don’t want to go their again...so I’m trying hard to continue on at work...If only when I left work...my mind done the same...instead of going over and over it....Doesn’t help that my friend at work rings through the week...talking about the events that happened at work...

I’m seriously thinking of traveling to the western suburbs of Sydney to see both my boys, dil’s and Grandchildren on Wednesday this coming week...for a week...My dil and I spoke today and she is telling me that my youngest son is having lots of problems with the stomach wound he got from the accident he had at work....It’s causing him a lot of pain and limiting him in many ways...and he won’t go and get it checked out.....hopefully I can persuade him to do so...

I hope everyone is doing better then okay..please be gentle and caring to yourselves...

Waves 👏🏻 dear bbff...thinking of you with love and care..💙🦋🕊🌱🦄👼🤗..

My love, hugs and care to everyone..💜🤗🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

I sorry dear Grandy if my last post upset you... please know I would never wish to do that.

I'm sure you will be able to persuade you son to see his doctor... whether you do it over the phone or in person...though I think both he & his family would love to have you visit if you feel up to the drive.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws...

No sweet lady....your post hasn’t upset me at all....Please don’t apologise....Your post was caring and inspiring...Oh I think I must have forgotten to put your name on my next post after yours.....I am the one that should apologise....I am really sorry....

Always love hearing from you my dear friend Paws...and all the other caring friends I have supporting me...

Thank you all so much...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

I think you are pretty lucky to have a doctor that takes so much interest and thinks of how to prevent things from getting worse. In my own case I guess I'd go along with the frequency simply had simply to encourage her - plus for me the inconvenience would be minor (actually I see one every fortnight so three weeks would seem a long gap to me:)

I can understand what you mean about getting house-bound if you did not keep on constantly going out, and think a visit yo your son would be an excellent idea. Going to do something - such as traveling - just for your own sake - is one thing, doing it to help someone you love is quite a different thing.

It spills over in all sorts of areas, for example I could not give up smoking over the years no matter the cost or physical damage to myself, but later I was motivated by my partner's well-being and did manage to stop.

I'm sure once your son sees you face to face you will be able to persuade him to see the doctor. It might be he is frightened of what he might find out or on the other hand feel it is not important enough ot sort out at once. I expect you will have a better idea if you manage to see him

Croix.

,

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful bbff Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

Sweety I just wanted you to know Im keeping up to date how youre going and know youre in my heart and thoughts always.

I'll bbl just not sure when.

Love you so much always 👩‍❤️‍👩💓💗⚘🗯👀

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Just popping in to give you some gentle hugs to help you to have a good nights sleep before your big drive tomorrow... I am so pleased for you that you will be staying for a bit with your son & family... I know you must be worried about how he is recovering... I'm sure your being there will be beneficial for you & all of them...

Sweet dreams

Paws