Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy I double posted yesterday. Looks like they've both gone.

Hey gorgeous birthday girl 🤗
Good you like Indiana Jones sweety hope you're enjoying it with your popcorn. You're so cute 🤗

Ok so wanted to wish you every good vibe and thoughts for tomoz beautiful lady. I'll be there 🤝 with you dear friend 💜

Well I've been very busy you know cutting shaping polishing gluing and sellotaping.
Big day but the final product looks amazing.

So my gogeous if you very slowly open that beautiful holographic little box as you open it you'll find you deeply inhale with the sheer brilliance of those beautiful strong vibrant colours being released from the prezzy sitting in the deep violet velvet inside.

It's an absolutely top class Opal broach. Oh Grandy the beams of colour are superb. Green Red dazzling Violet Purple and Yellow ...oh and that Blues spectacular.

Darlin if you feel a bit down just wrap your fingers and hand around it while you feel the warmth and security reach every cell in your mind and body until you feel safe again then you can allow the beams of colour to fill the room and your beautiful soul.

The other prezzy my gorgeous is a magnificent marble (love it) photo frame. The picture now is of you and I 👩‍❤️‍👩 ...it changes at random throughout each day.
Every change is a peaceful happy memory. There's one of you Mr 😍 and I. There's lovely ones of your sons, so glad they rang and lovely pics of so many friends here. Heaps of your furs 🦊our kitten furs 🐶 the cows 🐴 Mumjo the Gum tree stars 🎇 water 🚿 trips to the beach Deendy🐍 oh Grandy what a lovely pic of Betty and you having a cuppa 🍸and of course some of Peppys choccy 🍫 and the list goes on. I love the flower ones too ⚘
Just goods in your life beautiful.

Grandy I hope you love the psychadelic cake in the shape of 🦄 which is all about our beautiful friendship.

Always by your side dear friend. Love you beyond honey. Please be ok always.
Be keen to hear how you are when you're up to lovely one. You mean the world.

Happy birthday beautiful 🤗😚😊
Best tomoz sweety. We're with you 🗯 every step.
Nigh nite sweety. Really love and appreciate you.
👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝⚘🍫🍸🦄⛅🎇🐶😍🦊

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy hi honey ...a very gentle loving hug 🤗

You've had a really big day today haven't you.

Just want you to know you're very loved and cared about.

Been checking in to see you darlin through the day.

There's a lovely cuppa tea and freshly baked cinnamon cake on your bedside table gorgeous 😚

Always in my thoughts with deep love sweetyheart. Hope it all went ok lovey.

Deep love dear Grandy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👀🤝💤🍫

[Hanna3]

Just popping by to see how you are dear lady, and to thank you for your kind thoughts about little Sam, who is fast asleep on the lounge room floor - hopefully he will be OK tomorrow morning and I can get some tablets for him.

I hope things went OK for you and that you are not feeling too poorly. Wish I could make a hot cuppa and bring it to you and check you are all right. You take care. hugs.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deeb👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone...hugs🤗..

Thank you bbff for such a beautiful 🎁..love the way opals have that fire inside of them...I pinned it to my favourite winter scarf...it looks beautiful..I’ll treasure it forever Deebi...The marble picture frame is definitely a winner...and it will be looked at daily, so I don’t miss a single happy memory...Such a tender heart you have a Deebi..love you heaps, with lots of care..💚💜🕊🦄 and hugs...

Hanna I’m pleased little Sam is doing better then yesterday...our furs are so precious to us...they are our family...and love them so deeply...

I didn’t like the angiogram at all...anyhow if I don’t hear from my Cardiologist within the next week..I will see him in 5 weeks times....an early phone call means a more invasive investigation....

Thank you for the cuppa tea and cinnamon cake...I so much appreciate them..Gee I had to fast for over 15 hours today...only water allowed...

Time for another cuppa tea before bed...I’m tired...

Love and hugs everyone..💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[demonblaster]

Good hearing from you thanks sweety ☺

Wow long time fasting crikey.

I'm glad you've had that done but sorry hearing it wasn't nice. My late had stents and angiogrammes. Wouldn't be nice at all but they'll have a good idea of what's going on lovey.

I'm so pleased you liked your gifts. I had a nasty 🤕 so couldn't think properly.

Sleep beautiful love...sleep deeply dreaming of so many people that love you and care so deeply for a beautiful lady.

Always love you Grandy 😊🤗🦄

Nigh nite lovely people 💤 sweet dreams⚘

💜👩‍❤️‍👩🦄🍫☕🍰🍨

[Hanna3]

I'm so glad to hear it's over and I hope you have a good night's rest tonight Grandy! hugs.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How are you lass after your big day yesterday?

Ohh your furs must have been so delighted when you finally came home... it was a long day for you... so I'm not at all surprised you were very tired after...

I didn't like having an angiogram either... mostly because all up it took soooo long to do... but I didn't find it as bad as doing the stress tests...

Lass I do think you should be very proud of yourself managing all the waiting around you had to do... I know it can't have been easy for you... so I think you definitely deserve to treat yourself to something special.

Hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey there Mrs beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

Ohh you look so comfy fast asleep there sweetyheart. There you go a nice cuupa tea for when you wake. Sleep beautiful.

Just popping in to see how you are dear sss friend. Always thinking of you and wondering 🤗

Darlin I know you want to get those lawns done but it's been concerning me cause you struggled so much last time. Your heart I hope is behaving. If you do or probs hsve please love do them in batches.

We'll take the darling furs out for their little run around all you have to do is rest up.

PubAok Grandy. I know they'll contact you if anything more to be done.

Really love and appreciate you dear lady ☺🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💗

[heyx]

hey

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna, Paws, heyx. and everyone....🤗..

Thank you for your caring posts....Sorry I’ve not replied until now....trying to sort out my brain can take all my energy away from sometimes....no news is good news...I’m guessing that my heart is still able to do its work properly....without assistance from another source.😁..

Deebi...I mowed yesterday, I now regret doing that...I was down and my thoughts in all different directions and not on what I was doing....I ran over a very old piece of carpet that I have my garbages sitting on....My lawn mower came to an immediate stop and is making strange noises...How stupid can someone be..doing something without their mind present on the job they are doing.....I only recently bought it..now I’ve probably damaged it...so angry with myself..

New girl on Tuesday....yeah...

Counsellor’s appointment this afternoon...too late now to cancel...supporter makes me feel below her...with her pure white porcelain teeth....designer looking clothes...her happy go lucky words...her chauffeuring me around to appointments...only messages me to let me know an appointment time..no check in phone call or message....If I am judging her I am sorry..not meaning too...just feel inadequate about myself when I’m with her...

Such a bad downer post...I shouldn’t be complaining....I know...shouldn’t be putting my downers on here...They will pass...until then I can only ride it all out...write on here as a reminder that this will pass.....bad times seem to always do that..pass I mean...

Hello heyx...I hope your okay...Do you have your own thread..so I can pop in to say hello and try to support?...if not...your welcome to talk here anytime you feel up to it...

Sending my love, hugs and care to everyone listening here..

Hiya Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...my bbff..I know your busy packing etc...just wanted to give you an extra hug or 2...💚 🧸🤗🤗..see you at yours...soon...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....