Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Moonstruck]

Oh Grandy....I absolutely loved your sparrow story....how special...how very special....it was a message for you...from whom I don't know....but does it matter? It was especially for you....magical.....x

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

I agree. It was a sign. Letting that bird go must have felt like liberation.

Oops...the bird stuck in my wall the other day didn't make it..I didn't know how to get it out. I couldn't cut the wall...I couldn't get it from the roof- too high. I let the bird die. I wonder what that means?

I prefer your happy story.

🐦

[Birdy77]

Dear Grandy,

You inspire us all with your gentleness, humility and all-round gorgeousness.

The story of the dolls and your facing up to those people who did wrong, is an inspiration and encouragement for others to have courage. Wow, you did sooo well.

Thank you for being who you are. You are a special lady.

🐥

[demonblaster]

Hey gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩

Just dropping in to see how you're getting on precious friend.

Always in my thoughts and deep in my heart honey.

PubAok sweet lady

Love always sweetyheart.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💗🗯🕊

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Croix, Moon, Magic, Birdy..and all..🤗

Thank you all so very for your kind and warming posts..

The little bird was so sweet...They nest close by..and are the main ones that bathe in the bird bath out front..There are heaps of them..I notice that they all live and stay in a group together...

Today was unexpectedly busy...My mammogram was canceled yesterday because of equipment failure, I had to go this morning..then my Dr rang so I visited her after the mammogram..got home and mowed, because tomorrow we are expecting more storms with hail..which we got on Wednesday and caused the mammogram machine to not work....

My Friday walks have not happened yet..my dr is going to fill out the form with me in a few weeks for NDIS...so then someone from there can come out and take me for scheduled walks and some company through the week..and help me with making up menus for nightly dinners..which I find very hard to do...Not sure how I feel about all that...

Birdy...I think your a very special and awesome lady...with a gentle, kind soft heart...You are perfect the way you are..I really hope you’re doing okay..if you feel to your very welcome to talk on here...

Croix, Paws, Magic, Moon, ..you are all very special people to me..and I know for so many others here on the forums...💜..

Deebi...always my bbff..My sss...and yadimh always..Much deep love to you 💜🐻🤗..

My love, care and hugs to all you beautiful people..💜🦋🤗.

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy, (waves to Deebi and everyone)

I replied to some things you said on my post there... what happened to your support person who was supposed to be taking you for walks? Getting onto the NDIS sounds a great idea, I wish my doctor would help me get on it, it gives you all sorts of extra help.... I hope you get someone lovely to take you for some nice walks, and to help you with the meals - I find it hard to think of things to cook by myself, I can't be bothered much just for one person...

I have birds bathing in my bird bath too, I think they're wattle birds - it's so lovely and green here now... but today was a bit too warm for me and little Sam - we've had no rain for days, everywhere else seems to have had storms but here... they keep missing this town...

I made a nice friend here but she's got a new job back in town starting with L half an hour away, so we won't be able to catch up walking our doggies after her work.. it's so much better for her, she was getting tired and the driving was scary on the highway... but I will miss the company... first friend I've made here and now shé's a long way away...

I wish I could mow like you, but I can't physically manage it and this is a huge block.. yesterday it cost me $80 to have it mowed.. it's so hard to afford it, every fortnight now... but it's nice to have a backyard to sit in sometimes.. I moved here last year when it was so dry and we had the dust storms and smoke - so this is my first time seeing everything so lovely and green.

I hope the mammogram was OK, they're uncomfortable things to have aren't they? It's lovely to hear from you, and little Sam and I send hello waves and cuddles... hugs

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hanna,

My mhw...seems to either forget or just doesn’t want to do the walks..My Dr isn’t very impressed with her right now...So my Dr. thinking of NDIS...She wanted to before but I told her that I wasn’t ready for that...Today she insisted...

I hate mowing...it hurts my hips, back and groin, plus I get so puffed out..I mow for about half hour then rest..then do it again..I have around an acre of land that needs mowing...Its very tiring doing it...

Betty gets her lawn mowed by centre link for $35.00...I’m not sure who is eligible for that service..maybe Hanna if you feel up to it give them a ring and see if your accepted....It’s worth a try...

Its absolutely beautiful out here, so green and fresh looking..nothing like the last few summers...It was hot here as well today..We have had a lot of rain here over the past few days..Yesterday was very stormy and scarey with hail and heavy downpours every so often through the steady rain....My fur babies hid under a kitchen cupboard..they looked so funny, all I could see was 4 little ears, 2 little noses and 4 big wide eyes, staring at me...I didn’t think they could fit under the cupboard as it’s only got a gap of about 7” off the floor..

I am really sorry about your friend...It makes a big difference when we have even one person that we can chat to or walk with...I hope you find another friend soon...I have only friend in my village and when she stays at her sons place a few hours away...I miss her terribly....

It is so lovely to see you here Hanna, I hope you’re doing well lovely lady...

Sending you my care, love and hugs from myself..Kya and Ebony..💜🦋🤗..

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

Just a quick reply as I'm here while I'm having brekkie - I'd love you to tell me about your furkids, what breed are they, how old, what colour? Our pets are such a help and give us so much companionship..

I'm amazed you manage to do all that mowing by yourself, you are amazing!

We are forecast to get a severe storm this afternoon maybe with hail, so I want to take Little Sam out for a stroll now, in case we can't get out this afternoon - and the computer might not work if the storm is too bad...

Sending warm hugs your way oxoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi again Grandy (waves Deebi & everyone)

Yes I will miss my friend, so will little Sam as he was less lonely walking with another doggie and her, he had a smile on his face each walk!

I am so hoping this summer will be a bit better than the last one which was so hot and dry and dreadful - it's so green Grandy - we walked by the river this morning and the water is sparkling and the trees and hills are so green and fresh it's just lovely to look at it all - even if it's hot at least the trees are green and giving shade now.. and there is enough water... the river is overflowing its banks... it's all so pretty.

Little Sam has been snoozing all afternoon after the walk!

I am glad you will get someone new to take you for outings/walks and help with dinners... do you have a cat and dog or two doggies or which are you furkids?

Sending hugs, fluffy ones from little Sam oxxoxoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone....🤗..

thank you for your reply..Sorry I have taken so long to come back to you...

We are forecasted to have a wet spring and summer, which will be nice...except for the mowing..which I will have to do tomorrow because rain is forecasted for Thursday and a few odd days through next week....

The co-ordinator at work today was really nice to me..like she used to be..That was a big relief for me today...The new girl out back with me..is nice until I ask her to help carry in the donations..then she gets all huffy puffy...Couldn’t be bothered confronting her...I won’t ask again....Gee they volunteer then don’t want to work😂..She has been Volunteering their for a few months, wanted to do two days..I ended up with her...I think they only volunteer because, we get a discount on what we buy...I see her slipping little things in her bag..but I have zippered my mouth this time...I am guessing that a lot of people that volunteer for this charity are doing the same thing in different shops...

My mhw visited me yesterday...(What happened to Friday?)..she wanted me to fill in my goal card...again!!. What is your goal for the next 3 months..Being able to go for a walk on my own and feel like I am not being watched, or be so jumpy and feel vulnerable...Ha same goal now for 1.5 years..She doesn’t get it..I mean if I can walk on my own.then I might be able to go into a big store and buy some things I need....or maybe she doesn’t like walking..Oh..she booked it into her diary again for each Friday...I’m not going to hold my breath that’s for sure 😂..I will believe it, when I see it...I like her..and I need her..without her I will have no other support here...I’m not ready to go on..without support...yet.

I hope your all doing okay..it was a beautiful sunny day here today...

Sending my love, care and hugs to you Hanna and everyone

Deebi..bbff..your in my 💭 &💜..Love you dear bbff...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..