Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Lass you are not stupid or a coward. Over most of your life it has been the case that speaking up causes bad things to happen, so your brain has learnt one way to protect you is to say/do nothing. This has meant that like a rut in the road develops when we drive back & forth over the same track, your mind has developed a rut for your thoughts to travel along whenever anything like this happens. Lass it takes time & practice with support to learn how to avoid or get out of the rut. If you were stupid or a coward you would not want things to be different, but you do want things to change & you do keep looking for help to change. This shows you are brave & wise.

Whether you say anything or nor is entirely up to you & what you feel you can manage in the here & now. All any of us can ask of ourselves is to do what we can manage now, even if that is not as much as we wish we could do. If you can't speak up that is ok, you have spoken up here where you have support that is a big step to manage.

Lass you are a kind, generous person who deserves so much better in your life. Hold your head up high that you can see their behaviour is wrong & you would never behave like that yourself.

Love & gentlest of hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I thought the lady was a supervisor, sorry. Speaking up is hard Grandy, especially for people in our age groups, we weren't brought up to speak up about things.. I was brought up only speak when you are spoken to... don't beat yourself up.. do whatever is best for you... and whatever you think is right for you. I still find it hard to speak up about things... Fluffy hugs from little Sam xoxo

[demonblaster]

Beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

Darl 🤗 this is eating you and I completely understand why.
They've done wrong by you and as you said the op shop.
Good girl not accepting it.

Do you think it'd be best to wait a bit and see if she does return them although mmm dunno. The whole deal sounds suss. Not at all liking it.

I think our dear Paws hit the nail on the head lovey. The way you've been treated has conditioned you to silence because of severe repercussions.
Trouble for you is you're having a strong and very reasonable want to say something.

It's wrong and extremely unfair sweety. I wish you didn't have to go through this.

Your friends here have given very good ideas and support.
I also like Magics thoughts of writing could be easier.

I really am sorry you're going through this.
Love you so much dear love. Always by your side lovely lady ☺👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🤝🔥🤗

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

There dishonest people in the world and their behavior fills any honest person with disgust. You are an honest person and it fills you with disgust.

I get the feeling is not that you do not realize they were stealing, but that you cannot bring yourself to report the matter, which you believe is the right thing to do.

I think you are only partly right, yes dishonest should be reported, however the damage to you is a factor you are not taking into account.

You judge yourself unfavorably becsue you cannot take action, and that is not a character flaw, it is the result of the injuries you have suffered in the past. Sometimes it leaves us unable to behave in ways a truly fit and confident person might. Maybe in time with the right support such matters will be easier to handle..

It is those that gave you injury that are to blame. Like a lot of us here you do the best you can. While confrontation may be too much take pride in the good you do here.

The thing is not to fall into the trap of judging yourself as if you were one of those fit and confident persons, that is simply unfair.

I don't think I have to suggest to you to avoid these two if you can, and do not donate when they have the opportunity to steal

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Grandy

Its wonderful to see DB...Magic..Hanna ...DeeBee and everyone provide such warmth to such a beautiful soul

You mentioned ' like a young child I am just to scared to speak up...always have been and always will be.. ' I am also the same as its very difficult speaking our mind when we havent been able to from when we were little.

I feel your pain and anguish at this time Grandy, yet you are incredibly strong for understanding that pride is a poor substitute for intelligence by speaking from the heart as well as you always do.

my respect and admiration

Paul

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩

Just popping in to give you a really big 🤗 and to pop the kettle on.

Love you deeply dear Grandy.

Stay strong and please believe they're at fault. You haven't done anything wrong honey.

Always with you 🤝🗯👀👂💜👩‍❤️‍👩

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix, Paul and all..

Thank you all so much for your very caring and helpful posts...

You have all helped me..I suppose I just didn’t image in a charity shop things like this happens....

I spent a lot of years collecting the dolls, and my thoughts were that customers could buy for their children..and the charity gets a few hundred dollars to help the needy...Not for one volunteer to take them home to privately sell for her and friend...They also took a few of the bigger ornaments home as well....I let that go at the time...didn’t bother me....but taking home over 50 dolls large and tiny, I feel like those 2 workers are laughing at me... they know me and how I will not say anything to the boss about it...Its just not fair, for so many people...

Can’t work with people like that..don’t want to know people like that...Only solution is on Tuesday..tell them I’m leaving...and try to forget about it.

My kindest thoughts with care..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

You read my post so you know I understand, and also what is possible for you and what is unrealistic.

My only worry is this, how you will feel after Tuesday when you finish with the shop? If you will feel less regard for yourself than you do right now.

I know already that your self-esteem is lower than it should be. Do you think resigning will prey on your mind in the future and add to your grief? If you are at all like me there are episodes where I still feel guilt and dislike of myself for what I did.

I'm not trying to push you to do otherwise, I'm simply asking if now that a couple of days have passed you still feel the same way.

You will always have my high esteem.

Croix

Croix

[Ggrand]

Hello Croix..

I know you’re right in your words ..leaving would cause me a lot more headache then staying.

Feel like I’m at a catch 22 head space right now..

Thank you Croix...Your a very wise man...I appreciate you so much..

Kind and caring thoughts ..

Grandy..

[blondguy]

Hello Grandy

I would also have difficulty coping effectively after what you have experienced. Your levels of self esteem are your own personal business, not mine or anyone else's

Please allow yourself some time prior to any thoughts of resignation Grandy. Haste can sometimes mean waste especially with the fine qualities you possess

my kindest always....Paul