Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

((( hugs ))) Grandy darling lady, Sooo much pain

So glad you've opened up hun, thankyou for that, amazing replies too.

Please don't take this on board, I teared up reading this because I haven't said it outright before to you I don't think but I love you Grandy, not only have we become close on the other thread but have read your loving supportive posts to other people, myself included. You've got Gold lady.
We NEED you & want to be here for you. As you can see no one's leaving your side.
You're such a beautiful person. If we see that it must be true.

Please don't Grandy, do you remember when we first met where you were is where you are now & you started to pull up enough to not be wanting to.

I believe in you Grandy, we all do, you can do it again. You're a lot stronger than what you think, You're NOT weak you've got amazing survival in you, look at how you've tried & trying to pull up from a hell hard place, ringing psych, doing lawns, driving, even the letter although terribly sad you released some pain. I hope it had some benefit

Agree bout TV & reading, the mind wanders too much with both and hard to concentrate, where as these colouring books have gone wild here, as Rose said they involve more easy concentration but enough to ease the mind a bit of pain. You can get them at Newsagents, cheapy shops, bigger stores etc & pencils too.

Was thinking same lines as WR for phone talk and hers for now sounds like a really good option that you can talk to a highly trained professional, I was thinking for company but later when you're stronger could help for company, not being face on that's difficult atm for you

I know you've been having a really hard time sleeping too which makes it all so much harder.

Please keep talking Grandy.

You're precious xx

[Ggrand]

Hello, Pepper, Quirky.srartingnew,

I need to thank you all so very much, your words are so comforting,

I am okay and safe. ..I'm yeah don't know what to say.. except I'm sorry,

I spoke to BB today. We spoke between tears. They helped me a lot.

I needed my thoughts to stop tormenting me last night, I had enough they crushed me so badly. I just didn't want to hear them anymore. I mowed the lawn until I was so exhausted that I couldn't think about anything except my aching body. Had a few glasses of Tia Maria, then went to bed, slept a few hours and looked in here.

Im so very sorry,.... I am safe, please don't worry about me.

Thank you all so much,

i don't like being this far down. DB I am really sorry,

GG.

[demonblaster]

Thanks for letting us know you're safe hun

SO glad to hear you talked here with BB & they helped a lot

Nothing to be sorry about darl honestly. You didn't choose this pain.

Good to hear you got some sleep x

[Ggrand]

Hello White Rose,

Thank you, for everything.

I'm sorry I put the wrong name up on my other post.

I Can't talk atm. I'm sorry, I had everyone concerned.

I didn't mean to.

GG.

[Coddy]

I have really lost the will to live but can’t bring myself to seek help. Have a second husband who is not understanding .

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi GG,

I've been missing in action while dealing with paperwork for court. Been thinking of you all though.

Wanted you to know I didn't forget about you. I've been a bit down (until yesterday) and I'm not a talker when I'm down. Nothing serious just re-reading and writing about August last year and remembering things I'd rather forget.

I hope the mowing is working for you. I just bought 200 pavers and a load of sand. Planning to extend the pavers from the shed right down to the gate over the holidays. Lots of digging needed so I'll be sore and tired. It's a good feeling though.

Please keep being strong. I'm not much good at knowing what to say but after reading about writing posts then deleting without sending, I'm not going to delete this. My new motto, hehe.

SM

[White_Rose]

My Very Dear GG

You did not put my wrong name on the other post. I told you I answer to most things and Mary is the name most people use when posting. Relax my friend, you are taking on troubles that do not exist.

I am so pleased you talked to BB. They are really are good to talk to. Even happier that you are safe. Tia Maria eh, my preference is Baileys. They both taste yummy.

We want you to post in here as often as you can. I know your intention was not to upset anyone. Please do not stop because you think we get upset. We do get worried about you, but this forum was set up for people like you and the many others who need a helping hand. You will never be turned away from here.

Remember you have the strength to hang on because you have done so. Try to remember this when you feel overwhelmed with doubts and fears. I know it's a hard path but you are getting stronger. Did you manage to contact your psych? Was he helpful?

Just a short post my dear. We are holding you up, metaphorically, so lean on us until you are able to walk by yourself. That day will come.

Mary

[Peppermintbach]

Hi GG,

Maybe just post when you feel up to it and don’t post/post less if you don’t feel up to it. I just feel the important part is you do what you feel most comfortable with in terms of sharing and disclosing. But that’s just my personal opinion...

As everyone else has said, please don’t apologise as you have nothing to be “sorry” for. You have done nothing wrong.

I said this elsewhere too so I might say it here as well (I hope that’s okay). I think as much as we can tell each not to worry, the reality is if you care about someone (regardless of whether it’s online or offline), you will inevitably worry about them at some point.

I feel it’s partly human nature. I’m not talking about excessive worry but worry in terms of genuine concern for people we care about who are struggling is kind of, well, inevitable. Again, just my musings...it may not have any validity.

I guess what I’m trying to say (very poorly) is sometimes worrying is less about the worry itself but more about caring. I hope I’m making a little sense and it’s my way of trying to say please don’t feel bad or sorry for anyone worrying about you.

Anyway, I’ve waffled enough...

I am glad you are safe and that you rang the helpline.

I hope you keep holding on...

Many of us here care about you.

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Grandy sweet, hey all

Our concern is because we care about you as you do us & others. We wouldn't be here if we didn't want to be

Glad you did open up otherwise we wouldn't have known. I'm with Mary plz keep talking hun when you feel up to it.

Hopefully that bit of a breakthrough with sleep allows your poor exhausted body to relax a little & start allowing you more. Tiredness let alone exhaustion carries a lot more stress. Depletes our strength.

You're a true survivor Grandy & I know you don't think so but you've got so much courage

Here for you darlin 🤗

[Sophie_M]

Hi Coddy, welcome to the forums and sorry to hear you are struggling. 

The thread you have posted in here is for providing support to Ggrand. Please start a new thread in the Suicidal Thoughts section and our community will be able to provide you with some support.  Help is available and we are here to chat with you anytime.