Advice for Seeking Professional Help (Trigger Warning- Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, and Suicidal Feelings)

[Chloe_M]

Hey guys,

My life at the moment is really complicated, so I'll keep it brief:

• My parents are extremely strict- they don't let me do anything, when my boyfriend (who was also my best friend) broke up with me, they didn't know
• I was touched inappropriately last year by someone who I had known for years (not a family member, a peer)
• I suffered from depression(?) after the breakup for about 5 or so months (I don't have a diagnosis because my parents didn't know)
• I have stopped now, but I had been self-harming for around 2-3 of those months
• A couple of weeks ago, the depression and anxiety was so bad that I wanted to kill myself
• I am always anxious- I have a constant feeling of dread in my stomach
• I have panic attacks frequently that sometimes are for no reason- these involves sweating, shaking, hyperventilating and crying
• I really hate germs and am kind of obsessed with washing my hair and sanitising my hands
• A lot of my 'friends' judge me and some of them bitch behind my back
• I find that my anxiety is not at the front of my mind when I dance or when I am on this forum helping others
• My ex and I are friends again, but some weeks he ghosts me and flirts with random girls, and some weeks he acts like my boyfriend again
• I have only recently 'come out' to my parents about being anxious all the time
• I am going to see the school counsellor on Monday
• My parents are going to take me to a GP and get a referral to see a psychologist

I would like some advice on how to talk to a counsellor/psychologist and some general info about confidentiality and stuff like that.

Thanks guys xx

Chloe_M

[startingnew]

screens will make a headache worse, the threads can wait but thats up to you ofcourse.

abit of pain relief and a dark room with some rest should help that out..

that anger will subside im sure, tomorrows a new day xox

[Chloe_M]

Yeah I'll keep going with the threads, but having dinner soon so will take pain medication with that.

Shes fine now, was just a tinsy but pissed off at me.

Tomorrow is a new day. Am seeing one friend for lunch and shopping then 3 others for trampoline park and dinner. Should be good to get myself out of the house and be a normal teenager.

Thanks for the hugs xx sending some back to you 😘

[Ggrand]

Hello Chloe,

Im sorry to hear what happened to you at your dancing competition today. Try to put it behind you and move on to the next competition, I'm certain you'll do great, anxiety is the pits.

It sounds like you have an exciting and fun day planned tomorrow,I hope you have a really enjoyable day out with your friends and make some good memories.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Grandy

[Chloe_M]

Hi Grandy,

I'll try and put it behind me, but that will be difficult because I think too much about the past. But I'll try. I'm not competing till September, this coming term will be full of exams and assignments and extension assignments, I also have school dance performances and my ballet exam. So pretty full on I will be very stressed this term.

I will try and make some good memories. I really need to concerning the trampoline park. Last time I went... I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say I made some really good memories there that I can't stop thinking about and trigger depression.

sending kind and caring thoughts back to you 🕊

Chloe 🙂

[james1]

Hello Chloe,

I'm sorry to hear about how the end of that competition went. That just sucks for you.

Don't forget though that you're still doing really well. You performed the others really well and got recognised for them. We often get hung up on the things we didn't do well when, instead, we should be hanging onto the things we did do well and learning from the others.

Keep it up!

James

(Hello Emmy! It's nice to see you again)

[Chloe_M]

Thanks James. I kind of feel guilty for leaving after we drove ages to get there and wasted my mums money, petrol and time. Mums considering stopping my competitions because of the stress. I never usually get stressed abiut them but now I'm really stressed because I love dancing and I don't want to stop. Ultimately up to her what we do. Am kinda scared 😔

[james1]

Hi Chloe,

I understand the guilty feeling. It can certainly feel like a waste, but I don't think it was. Every chance you get to go do a competition, is a chance to do something good for yourself. It's a way to try and push your own boundaries and test yourself. There will be disappointments of course, but that doesn't mean it was a waste.

About stopping competitions, it sounds like you really want to keep it up. I think it's worthwhile making sure she knows how important it is to you. You could even try to find a way to car pool with another family, so there's less burden on your mum. Or if there's some other way to get there.

If it's just because of the stress and your mum doesn't mind driving you there, perhaps that's something you can bring up with your headspace person. See if you can come up with strategies to reduce the chance of repeating what happened last time. It sounds like it'd be really disappointing for you if you had to quit.

James

[Emmy.]

Hi Chloe. Hope your Mum doesn’t stop you from dancing as I know that is your passion! I’d image she’s only thinking of this as she’s concerned it’s causing you too much anxiety but she may not realise how much more upset you’d be if you did stop.

Perhaps sit down with her and have a chat. Tell her how you’re feeling. Come up with a plan - would reducing how many comps you enter perhaps be beneficial for you? (As in do you dance a lot of different styles - could you just focus on your favourite two styles perhaps). I don’t know how dancing works but just talking out loud. Xx

[Chloe_M]

James, Emmy,

Hi!

Mum and I are going to discuss another day... For now we are not doing any comps till September 😞 but this terms a big one (half yearlies etc) so I dont want to expose myself to excess stress.

Headspace called yesterday when I was out 😬 So am about to call them back and discuss my options for the future.

Thank you both for your replies 🤗

Chloe x

[Emmy.]

Good to just focus on your studies at the moment. Even though you’re going to wait until September to do comps again I’m sure you must do a lot of dancing in your free time, not just comp level. Really try to enjoy that.

Let us know how the call with headspace goes 🙂