A Common Story?

[smallwolf]

I was reading a couple of the other introductions earlier and could see a lot of myself in their stories. I am the generally the one that helps everyone, the one that has all the answers, the one that puts on a brave face, when underneath it is all turning to crap.

My anxiety ... future telling, finding problems that don't exist and my mind goes over and over these again and again. I know these thoughts are irrational and emotive, and yet these thought don't leave my head. I know that I am loved by family, but I just don't feel it or don't deserve it. Yin and Yang... one part of my head thinks irrationally and the other (logical side) know that it should not be the case.

With my psychologist started a happy memories session yesterday. Going through it I ended in tears. As helpful as it was, it seemed like one of the few memories in my life that seems to get overtaken by every other problem in a sea of black and those happy memories fade away. (I work from home as a software developer and have always been logical, even if a glass half empty. There is little/no thanks in the work I do anymore.)

I am tired and despondent in feeling this way. I hope that I am not complaining too much. Just want to know that I am not alone.

[smallwolf]

REBT is related to or is a form of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) as a means of coping with anxiety in dealing with the negative thoughts, such as feelings of failure, being a loser, seeing the worst possible outcome as what is going to happen, etc.

[smallwolf]

It is also used in therapy for depression.

Outside of the apps my psych. felt that a combination of CBT and mindfulness was best for me and rather than saying you have depression or anxiety, just recognises a problem.

That said, reading between the lines there is anxiety and depression, as I do have a safety plan - I think you know what that relates to. And while anyone can use the apps I have, in the little research I did found that generally recommended by psych. to patients consider suicide.

[demonblaster]

👍

helping ? All takes time aye

[Doolhof]

Hi Smallwolf, DB, Azarrah and All,

Thanks for the explanation Smallwolf for REBT. These strategies certainly do help when we remember to put them into practise.

It is amazing how quickly our minds can take us on a journey if we are not aware of our thinking patterns.

Remembering to use these tools is the key!

Cheers all from Dools

[smallwolf]

REBT ... Ummm ... It is no instant fix. While it is not difficult to do it can be hard to believe in the new response / thought when so used to the emotional response.

Sort of like transforming Gollum back into a Hobbit... Not impossible, just takes time.

Its that fight that goes on in your head / heart ... Being able to process thing logically, knowing your thoughts are illogical but "not believing" because the negative thoughts are more powerful.

[Doolhof]

For some reason our minds do seem to find it easier to think about the negative at times. The positives are hiding, needing to be discovered, acknowledged and validated as being possible and achievable!

[smallwolf]

Mistake in last sentence... Should have read "considering" not "consider". Feel so stupid now.

[demonblaster]

We all have typos Wolf you've enough rot going on, let that one through 🙂

Yeah I've started to get logical kicking in, helps a lot & being aware. I've started thinking why & what the thought was, confronting them.

It's a fight alright but we're strong too

[smallwolf]

The trick is to believe in the new thought. A challenge might be "do not let emotions cloud judgement" and "do not make any judgement until..." but as I have probably said before this is easier said than done. In hindsight I can see that I have over reacted, and yet my next thought is a loser feeling for letting the emotional get the better of me, sort of becoming a cycle. Maybe after doing REBT forms 100 times I might believe but it is slow going.

On the plus side... Today I found out that I got a DI (distinction) in one of the subjects I did last semester. I had previously thought I only got a CR - unfortunately I am extremely self critical and (for me) a CR is just a pass. Anyway, it was my first happy moment in a long time.

[demonblaster]

Hey NICELY done distinction woohooo ... you go wolfy :D. Hey credits more than a pass though too.

Very happy for you

Yeah instigating new thinking patterns does take time.I'm working on the principle that even one a day's one less crap thought to begin breaking the cycle

Someone here said once & so true it's habit & someone also said we don't have to believe Kaaboooomb!!! Truth
One sentence one action can make a difference, can even be walking down street hearing someone talking to someone and something's said that goes PING

You're taking this on, working at it, for these reasons I believe you'll make it through, power to ya Wolfy (affectionate what can I say, it's more personal nicknames and if we can't reduce we tend to add, hence Wolfy 🙂

Nice talking with you 🙂

Take good care