A Common Story?

[smallwolf]

I was reading a couple of the other introductions earlier and could see a lot of myself in their stories. I am the generally the one that helps everyone, the one that has all the answers, the one that puts on a brave face, when underneath it is all turning to crap.

My anxiety ... future telling, finding problems that don't exist and my mind goes over and over these again and again. I know these thoughts are irrational and emotive, and yet these thought don't leave my head. I know that I am loved by family, but I just don't feel it or don't deserve it. Yin and Yang... one part of my head thinks irrationally and the other (logical side) know that it should not be the case.

With my psychologist started a happy memories session yesterday. Going through it I ended in tears. As helpful as it was, it seemed like one of the few memories in my life that seems to get overtaken by every other problem in a sea of black and those happy memories fade away. (I work from home as a software developer and have always been logical, even if a glass half empty. There is little/no thanks in the work I do anymore.)

I am tired and despondent in feeling this way. I hope that I am not complaining too much. Just want to know that I am not alone.

[Ggrand]

Hello Smallwolf,

Just calling in to let you know that I like your new avatar, gives me sense of loneliness yet peace at the same time..

I hope your day was better then yesterday, and you have some peace.. There three words that I really love hearing, reading , Tranquility, Serenity, and Peace, just saying or reading/ hearing them brings a sense of calm..

Kindness only,

Grandy👼

[smallwolf]

Thanks re the avatar... Combed the globe for sad wolves.

The day has been ..,Ying and Yang. Had meetings since 1pm! Unresolved issues in both meetings having to be addressed.

Have to think about dinner soon. Wife gone to party. Son gone to formal. Just my daughter and myself. Not sure what she wants!

Tomorrow is another day! (would be good if life was not so complicated)

[Doolhof]

Hey Smallwolf,

Congratulations on the MRI results. Just realised I've not been here for a while so wonderful to read your news. I have no ideas where the days have disappeared to lately. Someone told me we are actually in March now and the year is 2018! How did that happen?

It is now the 4th so you must have managed to make something for dinner last night. My husband asked me to cook a roast the other night. Somehow the onions stayed on the bench and never made it into the oven! The onions were sitting there looking at me when it was time to serve up dinner.

Hope you managed okay!

Cheers from Dools

[smallwolf]

Thanks for jumping in here. Been a somewhat busy day. Helping resolve other problems that are not work related. Would be nice if people got along with each other and were honest, yadda yadda.

Did more study... Have 3 assignments in 3 months to do. No rest for the wicked.

Couple more ideas for poems. They are a bit dark but that is what is in my head so better out than in. Might need each to have an explanation if I post them here.

Tonight the kids have pizza. One likes a home made base the other does not. One gets a classic, the other a meat lover's style. Wife gets steak. Me... No idea as yet.

Like your story about onions. Opps. I have done similar myself. Did the onions have a small chuckle when you looked at them? Before running back to the onion basket?

[Music_Freak]

Great news about the test results - I bet that was a huge relief to you and your family!

Sorry I didn't pop in sooner...been a bit invisible here (not at all coping - maybe I should make a post here too...)

[PamelaR]

Hello Dools (wave to SmallWolf)

Good to hear to you're getting stuck into your assignments. 3 in 3 months is a huge task.

Hope you don't mind me responding here SW. Dools - love your onion story and the way they just stared at you. I do that all the time!

Cheers

PamelaR

[demonblaster]

Wolfy hi and all ☺

Just letting you know I'm 👀 your posts and 👂

Keep thinking about your massive amount of assignments at uni you told me about Omg. Wow 3 in 3 mths is huge, you'll do fine

Liking your peaceful places and poems I've seen around here, great input Wolfy. You're valued here ☺

Take care oh and may I please have steak with your wive meatlovers with one of the kids and home base with other one. Thank you

"That is all"

[smallwolf]

On the assignments... that is the part I like (more than work)

Psych has me scheduling activities during the week with a pleasure and accomplishment ratings. Work is just a 2 or 3 out of 5 for excitement, and those are optimistic scores.

Wife is having a hard time with swim club matters. Committees and politics! Arrrrrggghhh! Wife is acting as a intermediary between warring parties. Not a fun place to be.

On the peaceful places. Thanks. I have some ideas for poems but as I said, they will be quite dark and personal, so unsure how that would go down. But it is a release and ... Not Sure.

Lets see what disasters tomorrow brings.

[demonblaster]

Our reactions and thinking process is how we deal with situations.

That feeling like a zap in the chest..tension. Not sure yet how but I think we can use that to our advantage. Its the thoughts that follow, if we can navigate them to a calm state which clears the mind to lateral thought and action.

Keep at it Mrs Wolfy. Hope its not too draining

Wolfy a healthier mindset is you're going to have a good day tomorrow ☺

[Ggrand]

Hello Smallwolf,

Im just coming in to thank you for your birthday gift to me, it very much appreciated, I love going to magical places and I think a better gift you cannot give a person, so athank you very much.. I'm looking forward to reading your poems when you create them..I added another one to the poem thread, it's dark, but not overly so.

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..