watching her fade away

[StephenP]

This is my first post here, my wife of 37 years is suffering from terminal cancer. She has been fighting it for nearly 3 years now but for the past 2 weeks she has gone down hill fast and now is on end of life program . She's at home and my daughter and I am caring for her. However I still have to work to pay the bills. I'm not getting much sleep because she needs me through the night with anxiety attacks and pain so I have to give subcut injections and administer all her medication . I' m sacred not just for me but for her as well,I don't know  exactly what to do I feel totally useless that I cant fix this .I want to cry but cant as I don't want her to feel that I cant cope, she's scared enough and doesn't want to leave me. I have friends and family staying in contact, but I still feel alone and watching her slow fade is killing me ,I just don't know what to do.

[Neil_1]

Dear Stephen

Thank you for coming to Beyond Blue and providing us with your post - as difficult as it must have been to write it down.

I cannot imagine the emotions you must be going through on a daily basis - and on top of that, you are still having to be away from her due to work. 

When you're at work, is it just your daughter there with your wife?   Or are you getting any assistance from friends or family?   Stephen at these times, these are when you need to seek out and lean on friends and family, if they are available.  I can understand you not getting much sleep - but in order for you to function well enough to be able to look after your wife, would it be possible to call on other sources of support for you and your daughter?

You know, even if it's just for someone to make a meal or something - just something to give you a hand.

I really wish I had more that I could offer - I do want you to know that you can come here and post as often as you feel able too.  I'm really stumped for words to say Stephen.

Neil