Hey, first I need to apologise to the group moderators. I had previously written a response on this, which they chose to not publish; to which I became upset and wrote a rather rude email directed at them and tried to run away from the forum. I acted emotionally and not logically; pretty stupidly actually.
So a revised response is:
Thank you for the replies and apologies for the confusions. I wasn't really sure how to ask the question. And, I didn't ask it all that well. Actually, in hindsight, I had a lot of things misinterpreted -- from the out-of-context username I chose, to what a marriage vow actually is. See, I did take the vows quite literally; and now I know that was probably the wrong way to look at them. I wonder if I might have a stronger relationship with my elder daughter today, had I not been so literal with their interpretation.
For those of you who are interested, I follow a Christian faith (which aspect thereof I think is inconsequential to this thread). @AGrace, I didn't mean to be prejudicial against non-religious responses. I did, however, wish to abate the anti-religious arguments about the vows in the first place. Those normally offside me from the get-go.
@Life is not good, Yes marriage is a life long commitment. "Are you saying that because you and your wife are separated that one or other of you should die in order to fulfill these vows?" If I had continued with my previously misinterpreted and warped path carried thus far, it would have been, but no longer.
But after the moderator/s denied my post of further inquiry, I was angry. I thought, "fine, I don't need you then," "I'll do this on my own; I don't need you, her or anybody else." When I calmed down, I realised the moderators gave me a wonderful gift by not posting. They made me realise I am capable of living, even if I am no longer wed.
Sure it hurts, but then my younger daughter said "I love you daddy," and gave me a hug. That had instantly made up for all of the pain and anguish I have felt over the past two weeks. It was exactly what I needed; to be needed, to matter to someone
Last night I slept alone without feeling alone. I may no longer be the other-half of a marriage, but I am still an important part of my children's lives. I now realise that being discarded by one, is being not discarded by all.
I apologize to the group if I have caused anyone undue pain or concern, it was not my intent. I was thinking selfishly, when I should be more selfless for others.
T.
