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[lulu]

my dog has passed and my uncle i hope this BB program is helpful

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

So sorry for your loss. You will indeed recover from these events but there is better ways than some to reach that destination.

The grief process certainly depends on the individual so I suggest thats the first realisation- that however way you grieve its the right way, length of time, emotional breakdown at any location and so forth. Discount others that say otherwise eg "about time you got over this".

In these early stages look through photos, videos or recall good times. Allow yourself to remember them.

Plant a tree or rose garden in their memory.

Distraction is a practical way to lower your temptation to fall into sadness. Emerse yourself into your hobby or sport. Visit friends. Try not to talk endlessly to others about it, by all mean mention it as the reason you might not be much fun to be with but then try to enjoy their company by asking them questions about what they are up to. After all it isnt a counsellor session, its to be cheerful in difficult times.

When a loved one passes try to see the wonder in them and seek it in other people. My father passed at 64 year old and I eventually found a loving man of similar age that I looked upon as a dad. Unfortunately he passed last month but I enjoyed 30 years of his "fatherhood" now at 68yo I'm using my energies to comforting other younger people. 

Grief will provide you with the experience that you can relate to when someone you love loses a loved one. Pass on your methods on how you did so like I'm doing here.

Finally, always remember how that person or animal would have wished for you. They would not have wanted you to spend your whole life grieving. Death, unfortunately is part of life and to enjoy life we have to accept people and animals passing away. But it's tough.

When ready if you can purchase another pet that will also help. We have 2 mini foxies and the old one is 13, she is my angel and I dread when she passes but I'll do what I suggested here.

All the very best lulu, I hope that helps

TonyWK

[SleepyRain]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through that, although I can't provide any advice because I don't think I'm good with that stuff😅. I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel. I lost my dog of 14 years and relatives as well. It sucks a lot, but I will always be thankful I had them in my life.

Take Care❤️

[ABC01]

Dear Lulu,

I am nine weeks into the loss of my beloved cat.

Grief is hard on your mind,body and heart. I am so sorry for your loss.

Please be aware that your uncle and you may grieve in different ways, but that they are both valid. Just that expectations on each other may have to be given flexibility. Grief,even when you know the same loved one who has passed is actually a lonely individual process. You may have times where you come together to hug each other and cry,but there may also be times where each of you just can't do that in that moment when you need it the most, ie:work,school, one of you is not at home or the other person is in a different phase of grief. It can also too, depend on the actual relationship each of you had with your dog. No two are the same.

In my situation,I spent all day everyday with my cat and nights too. Other family members spent 15-20mins in the same room with him a day. They have moved so much further in their grief then I have. I still almost feel like I am at the first day he passed.

If I can give any advice; Cry when you need to cry,don't wait for a better time or place. Feel all the emotions,even if they are all in a ten second timeframe. You don't feel the way you do unless you loved your dog and hard. You love is valid, so your grief is valid. And I say is with love, because it is still ongoing and enduring.

I brought small notebooks and grabbed a pen to attach to it. I have just been writing down any feelings I have felt. Writing it down allowed it to come out of my mind. Noone else is going to read it, so if it is negative, write it down. If it is angry, write it down. If it is sad, write it down. I take my notebook with me everywhere. It can also prompt me to write down questions that I need answers for. Grief doesn't come with a handbook. So I can ask these questions on forums like this.

Collect a few memento's of your dog, like some fur you find, their favorite toy and their collar. You can then buy shadow/picture boxes and make a remembrance box for them. It is a way to stay connected to them after you have found some acceptance.

Most of all, please look after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Eat 3 meals a day, exercise to get the emotional energy out,sleep at normal times and do nice things for yourself. Guilt may try to interrupt these, but you must try to push past that. Grief isn't measured by how devastated/how much you cry/how affected your daily life is by the passing of a loved one. Grief ultimately is about love. Your dog lived their life with you. Please try not to focus on the last day and moments with them. Please try and focus on the whole life of love,laughter and light your dog brought into your life.

I am here if you need to chat,

ABC01