Not sure if this is the right place?

[Jas_]

Hey,

not sure if this is the right place to be posting this, but, i'm just so lost and confused and somewhat angry with my thoughts at the moment. I'm not an Australian resident or citizen, I chose to leave my family and move out here for a better life. I've been in Australia since 2018, it'll be three years in March. I'm a masters student, specialising in Education.

A bit of background I guess, as sometimes backgrounds help paint a picture. My family wasn't and will never be easy to describe to anyone. As much as I love both my parents, I feel someone vacant sometimes when I think of my dad. He never reaches out, and he never really connected with me whatsoever. I found it rather odd that, over the last week, he'd been messaging me saying how much he loves me, and how he feels so proud to have such an accomplished daughter. Then, Sunday morning at 3am he text to say, he and mum are getting divorced.

I'm confused. I'm lost, and numb. Overwhelmed is a great word to use too. Today, I actually woke up, feeling great, then came down for a nap and burst into tears. I have so much undealt trauma, the loss of my dear friend,my best friend unexpectedly passed away in 2020 and my dear granddad when I was younger, and I just can't deal with being sad. I hate the feeling, it's not me. But why am i feeling an inundated amount of pressure to pick myself up and get on with it?

[quirkywords]

Jas

welcome to the forum and well done for posting.

In the last few years you have had many changes and loss and grief.

you moved away from your country of birth away from friends and family.

You find your parents are divorcing so the family you knew is changing and you grieve that loss.
The dear loss of your friend last year.
On top of that you grieve your granddad.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad it is part of life, we need to grieve and acknowledge the pain of our losses.
Do you like to write ? Maybe you could make a memory book of your friend with photos and stories , just an idea.

sometimes when people do not allow themselves to grieve they find it hard to move one until they have let themselves feel the emotions of loss.
Welcome again. Feel free to post here and let us know how you are going, if you like.