Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

My Story

Community Member

I'm here because i am at abit of a loss of what to do. I feel so alone at the moment. My situation is that we ( my fiance and I ) have lost 3 people who we were close to in a short space of time (7 months) . My partner and I were careers for his dad who suffered from MND, we moved in with his dad june last year and were both looking after him until he lost his battle with MND in November just gone, on the same day we also lost my sister's mother in law who i lived with for a short time years ago, we weren't close but still she was family.  We were greiving and getting thru things together, and things were looking up but in May this year my nan past away. The day before she past I was talking to my fiance about going to see her on the weekend as i hadn't seen her in a while, she was ravenged with Alzhemiers and dementia and i was really scared about how she would receive me . The next day I get the call that she has passed. I had so much guilt about her passing , but the thing that annoyed me the most was that i felt that my partner hasn't really been there for me during this time . During the time when we were caring for my father in law i stood side by side with my fiance, i was there every step of the way  - yet, when i'm going thru the same grief for my nan, he's not there for me. Im not close to my mum and dad, i have a sister that talks about nothing but herself non-stop, and i dont really have any friends. I definately suffer from SAD, but now that the sun has come back and its spring i should be happy again but im not.. i've never sort any help from a professional but I think maybe i should ? 


2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Redmk78,

Welcome to the forum. We're so sorry to hear about the losses you have endured in the past few months; it's no wonder you have been struggling. Grief, loss and their impact on our relationships and mood are common triggers for depression. Even though you have SAD, it may take longer to feel back to normal after the winter months when you have been through so much this year. At the same time, if you aren't feeling yourself and your mood is still low, it is a good idea to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. You can discuss options that could include trialling medication, counselling, review by a psychiatrist, etc, or simply monitoring for a bit longer and checking in with your GP in a few weeks if things aren't getting better. It really is best to get onto this early rather than waiting to see if it gets worse.

You may also find it helpful to read the fact sheet, 'Grief Loss and Depression' that can be downloaded from our website here:


Please know that you are not alone; there are many others on this forum that have been through similar dark times and can tell you that it does get easier. Do let others help you through this and we hope you stay in touch with us to let us know how you are going.

With best wishes

beyondblue mods

Community Member

Hi Redmk78

Goodness so many deaths in such a short time span is trying to say the least and now as you have expressed your partner is somewhat detached.

Firstly I know this may sound awful but the people that moved on where ready to move on they were properly over being here with all the medical things going on.

I am pretty sure that you two have done a wonderful job as carers it is such a admirable thing to do and can be difficult I know from experience.

But everything will be ok because there is absolutely nothing anyone could have done to change how those events happened.

Guilt is just a feeling taught to control us in some form or other so if you could not get to your relatives because of whatever you where doing why give guilt power.

I am sure your relatives would just say Noooooooooo no need for that if you felt loved by them then that is all they would be sending you.They served a purpose to you in your lifetime and since you are a carer I imagine you have a much bigger purpose especially if you have empathy for others.

Take some proper time to grieve allbeit something that will connect with you off course because you in turn may end up helping others in the future.Off course I am assuming you know we learn from what our experiences teach us.

All the best